Tuesday, June 30, 2015

I'm accidentally a hermit

I'm basically cut off from the outside world and it's weird. My phone is still broken, and it seems to be getting more broken every day. Would you like a list of the things my phone can do?

-Open Instagram
-Set an alarm
-Make and receive phone calls

That's about it. On Instagram I can only "like" photos. No commenting, no uploading, no searching for users. Every time I try to type something into my phone it restarts. Also, when my alarm sounds in the morning I can't turn it off because it just insists on turning off, turning on for about 2 seconds and sounding the alarm, turning off and then repeating the process for about 20 minutes. It's adorable.

When I open my texts I can sometimes see the names of people who have texted me but I can't read anything they've texted.

It's really a worthless piece of junk and I know I need a new one (because I know you're all probably in @jliette Instagram withdrawals) but I'm on a family plan with my parents and they think that since I'm getting married I shouldn't be on their plan anymore and I don't feel like sticking myself with an $80/month cell phone plan SO

if anybody has an old Verizon smartphone you want to sell me, let me know. I'll pay you $20 and some blog pimping. This is serious.

I do actually have some pretty cool news to share: I got a new job! I've tried not to post about how miserable I was in my last job but you guys, I was pretty miserable in my last job. I've never been so stressed out in a job before. No, not even when I had to babysit a $3.6 million dollar check. No, not even when I was in charge of keeping young children alive for a week straight.

Now I'm working at a doctor's office on the mountain and I have to work on Fridays now, which is a bummer, but I get to wear scrubs so it makes up for it. Oh and I don't want to shove bamboo shoots up my fingernails on a daily basis anymore so that counts as a win. It's strange not being on gchat during the work day but I've survived so far. It's only been 3 days so that's not saying much.

OH. On Sunday I watched A Deadly Adoption. TWICE. Have you heard of that? It's the Kristen Wiig and Will Ferrell Lifetime movie. It's pretty confusing because it's not supposed to be funny, but it's a hilarious movie, simply because it's not funny at all. There's a ton of slow motion, gratuitous overall wearing by Kristen, and at one point Will Ferrell shouts,

"You KNOW the dangers of diabetic ketoacidosis!!!!'

I've looked on Buzzfeed and apparently it's a spoof? But they were SO SERIOUS, you guys. It was super weird. Just watch it and then we'll discuss.

My wedding diet is still a thing but I just had a handful of Cheezits and a symphony bar with toffee nuggets so you can probably guess how well that's going for me.

That's all because The Bachelorette is about to start and you know where my loyalties lie.

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Wedding Wednesday: It was supposed to be a simple wedding

Have you seen the Sex and the City movie? If you haven't and you don't want to know anything that happens in it, stop reading. Do you remember how Carrie and Big (dumbest nickname ever, I think)  were originally planning to have a simple wedding at City Hall with only their closest friends in attendance? But then all of a sudden Big opens the paper and their engagement announcement is plastered all over Page Six (I think it's an important page which is why it gets capital letters), they've invited like, 300 people, they're having the wedding at the New York City Library (is that what it's called?), and Carrie is going to wear a huge poofy ball gown made by THE Vivienne Westwood herself. Big is like, "....how did this happen???" And Carrie is like, "IDK man but Imma put an entire bird on my head now."

I feel like that's what's happening with our wedding. I was truly planning on having a simple wedding. I was going to wear an inexpensive white bridesmaid dress, I was going to do all the flowers myself (baby's breath and pink roses or something), I was going to make our cutting cake myself and let everyone else eat Costco sheet cake, there would be a maximum of 100 people... it was going to be simple and small.

Then I got the ring and the universe was all...

And like tbh I don't even know how it happened. IT JUST DID. I tried to buy an inexpensive white bridesmaid dress but then I went dress shopping and this other dress LITERALLY jumped off the hanger and onto my body and forced me to buy it. And then my dad and I met with a florist who has done the flowers for my parents' church for like, ever, and she showed me dahlias and I didn't know what dahlias looked like but now that I do I'm like... whoa, BEAUTIFUL. And she showed me "stock" which is a really pretty filler flower that now I love more than baby's breath. And like one minute we were talking about corsages for the grandmas and then she was like "Oh and obviously you'll need to have giant pillars and vases up by the gazebo with you two, otherwise it will be way too blah," and I was just like... "Uh huh yes you're so right."

Our honeymoon was going to be pretty simple too, like we were going to spend 7-10 days in one place probably, and just relax, but THEN Keith started googling. And NOW our honeymoon is turning into possibly being a 2 week long romp to like, Greece, Istanbul, Ephesus, and Stockholm, and there might be a hot air balloon ride thrown in there somewhere because WHY NOT?

And let's not even get started on how I really need to lose three fifteen pounds but I've been doing a LOT of stress eating and I can't get enough ice cream or Cheez Its and it's beginning to be a problem.

Also I've been having trouble sleeping because I've been finding one giant wolf spider a night roaming about my home. Yeah you heard me: a WOLF SPIDER. Don't google that. Just DON'T do it. I warned you.

So that's what I have for you today. We're almost at the 3 month mark and I've started to freak out, and I know that because I have pimples on my forehead, and for me forehead pimples = stress pimples.

My questions for YOU are:

What are some good stress relievers?
Have you ever planned something (a wedding or anything else) that ended up being way bigger/more elaborate than you originally intended?
Where can I buy the wine that is calorie free?
Why do I have a receding hair line?
I bet you think that one ^^^ is a joke but it's not.

Thursday, June 18, 2015

You probably don't know...

Usually I don't like posting after 8am PST, but today I'm making an exception because I can. Helene is doing a linkup of "things you probably don't know about me" and I want to join the sheeples who are doing this. BECAUSE IT'S FUN.

1. I hate feet. I hate my feet and I hate the feet of other people, but if you happen to have nice looking feet I'll make sure to compliment you on them. In high school I had a huge crush on this guy but after I saw his feet I couldn't stand to be around him. His toes had like, 3 knuckles on each of them!! (Are toe knuckles a thing?)

2. Opening gifts in front of people makes me really really nervous. I can never seem to find the right balance of showing enthusiasm and gratitude and acting like I'm trying really hard to make it seem like I like the gift. But unless it's a box of feet, my enthusiasm is genuine.

3. I'm a cuticle picker. I can pick at my cuticles all day. Sometimes they bleed but I keep picking. I read somewhere that skin pickers are perfectionists, but whoever did that study was clearly wrong, because I'm not a perfectionist in the least.

4. I went to a college where everyone had to sign a contract promising that during the school year we wouldn't drink alcohol, smoke cigarette, do drugs, or wear tube tops on campus.

5. I've always wanted to have a daughter named Charlotte, but I feel like Kate and Wills ruined that for me because now if I do it everyone will think I'm copying them.

6. I've never broken a bone or been stung by a bee.

7. Candy has always been really important to me, and when I was younger I'd tell my mom I needed to go to Rite Aid to "get some deodorant" but then I'd come out with a bag full of candy and eat it all while I read my 17 books from the library. One time when we were getting new carpet the carpet guys had to take the mattresses off of my sister's and my bunk beds and there were like, a trillion Smarties wrappers that I'd stuffed in between the mattress and the bed. My mom was mortified.

8. Growing up my mom would punish me by not letting me go to the library.

9. In college I struggled with anxiety and depression (it's college, who doesn't?) which resulted in medication. The psychiatrist I met with gave me a prescription after speaking with me for about 10 minutes, and I think that's pretty common these days, and I don't support that. Counseling? yes. Immediate medication? No.

10. I've never been out of the country. Not even to Mexico.

11. The smell of syrup grosses me out. It's delicious, obviously, but when I smell it I just think of sticky little kids.

12. My earliest memory is of my dad pushing me in a shopping cart through the grocery store while we picked out baby food for my younger sister.

13. I never take the first item off the shelf. I prefer the 2nd or 4th. 

14. I'm obsessed with Dr. Pimple Popper. It's pretty self-explanatory what it is, so if you don't like watching pimples get popped, don't click the link. I know I'm not the only gross person who like this crap because she has 178k followers on Instagram.

15. I used to make myself faint for fun.

16. The middle of my back is annoyingly ticklish. When people rub my back in that spot I spaz out because it tickles so much.

Helene in Between

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Wedding Wednesday: The Dress

YOU GUYS. Today is my 27th birthday but I don't want to bore you with a post about how I really don't want to be 27 because I really loved 26 and now that I'm 27 I'm in my late twenties and I've been putting off being in my late twenties since I turned 25. So instead (and because it's Wedding Wednesday) I'm going to tell you all about my wedding dress shopping experience.

Shopping for my wedding dress was on the short list of things I was not excited to do. I've worn dozens of wedding dresses at my old job and I knew I wasn't going to have "that moment" of seeing myself in a white dress for the first time. I think I was mostly nervous about it being a really big deal with a lot of people around trying to tell me what I should get. Also, I've sort of let myself go the past 6 months and I'm not very happy with how my body looks, so I really wasn't looking forward to seeing myself in a tight dress without sleeves under fluorescent lighting. Call me crazy, but I just wasn't into it.

Last weekend I was back in SLO with my family to celebrate the birthdays of me, my sister, and brother, and Father's Day. I was there for a long weekend so my mom suggested we do some dress shopping. We were going to be babysitting Baby Kate that day so she'd go with us, and I figured if a 20 month old was there the torture appointment couldn't last too long. I made an appointment at what I thought was A Heart's Desire in Paso Robles, and we showed up at a bridal salon in Paso at my appointment time (noon), and my appointment was nowhere in their books.

"....Is this A Heart's Desire?" I asked, though I already knew the answer.
The girl looked at me like I was a huge idiot, gave a big sigh, and said, "No, this is Bella Novia."
Now, I have this tendency to get kind of mad, freak out a little, and sometimes cry when things don't go the way I expected them to. This was one of those times and I pulled my mom over to a corner and whispered angrily, "Let's just LEAVE! This is so embarrassing!" (I'm very mature.) We didn't leave, though. They were able to fit me in for an appointment which wasn't surprising since there were NO customers in the store.

The sales associate walked us through racks of dresses and the first rack we walked by she said, "These dresses are all ______" (I can't tell you the styles because what I bought is a big secret le duh) and I told her, "Oh we can definitely stay away from that style, that's the opposite of what I want!" Then she let me pick out some dresses that I wanted to try on, so by looking at price and dress detail, I picked out 4 or 5 dresses and we went into the dressing room.

The owner of the store (who was extremely nice and patient) ended up helping me into the dresses. And even though I've been in her shoes and I know she didn't care that my legs weren't shaved and my underwear was ripped, I still felt self-conscious. But she made me feel comfortable which I really appreciated.
Then I stepped out onto the pedestal in the first dress AND I FELL IN LOVE AND BOUGHT IT.

Just kidding. I stayed in it for about a minute and a half and then we moved on. My mom took pictures of each dress I tried on and I'm glad she did because I wouldn't have remembered them otherwise. The second dress I really liked. It was pretty much what i'd been looking for, except that it had a plunging neckline and I wasn't into that. The third one I was in for about 3 seconds. The next one I was in for like 4 minutes, and then Elizabeth (the stylist) asked me if I'd mind if she brought in a dress she thought I might like. From my experience as a bridal stylist I know how important it is to listen to your stylist and try on what they suggest. You might hate it but more often than not you'll love it. I told Elizabeth I was open to trying anything on.

As she was zipping me up I said, "Wow, this is really the opposite of what I wanted!" And she said, "I know, but I think it's a good idea to try it."

AND OH. MY. GOSH. There's a picture my mom took where the look on my face is like, Oh em gee I loooooove this dress but I don't want to admit it. I walked around the store and looked at it in better lighting, tried on a veil, and told myself it was okay to pick a dress that was totally different from what I wanted. I didn't cry, my mom didn't cry, and Baby Kate didn't cry. It wasn't some emotional moment where I was like, YES I AM BUYING THIS DRESS RIGHT NOW. It kind of just slowly sunk in. It wasn't a big deal, and I'm so glad. I didn't want it to be a big deal. The whole experience was really perfect. I think it's so funny that I didn't even mean to go to that store, and I bought a dress that was "not what I want at all."

That's how it was when I went car shopping. I wanted a small SUV like a Honda CRV and I looked at a bunch of those, but then the salesman showed me a Honda Fit and after looking at it for a while I just slowly came to the conclusion that that was the car I was going to buy.

So, long story short, I bought the dress! (The next morning.) BUT since the wedding is so soon I had to order a smaller size. Right now I'm like, a 10/12 and the dress I ordered is an 8, so now it's this big dramatic diet I'm on because I have to fit into the dress. If I don't, there will literally only be three weeks to get it altered. No pressure at all.

SO. Venue? Check. 
Caterer? Check. 
Florist? Check.
Officiant? Check.
Dress? Check.
Photographer? Ch----we'll talk about that later.

When you bought your dress, did you have that "AHA!" moment? How many dresses did you try on?

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Choose your happy

Last week, I was in a job interview, and I got asked a question that, to be quite honest, both offended me and made me second guess some of my life choices:

Why did you go to such a prestigious - and expensive - college and then just sell wedding dresses and be a nanny? If you take this job you won't be making much money at all. You'll never be rich.

I went to Biola University for college, and graduated in 2010. (Biola is a private Christian college in Southern California, if you didn't know.) For 7 months after college I continued my job selling wedding dresses, then I was a nanny for a year and a half, then I moved back to SLO and worked at a wealth management firm, and now I live in the mountains and work for a very small non-profit organization.

I said that I went to Biola because my brothers went there and my dad got his doctorate there, and I wanted to go to a Christian school, and Biola seemed like the right place. It was familiar, but far enough away from home that I felt like I was on my own. What I didn't say was that when I was 17 and deciding where to go to college, I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't apply anywhere else, and if I hadn't gotten in to Biola I probably would have gone to community college for a few years.

When I was 17 I thought I'd figure my life out while I was in school. I didn't have a plan going in to it. Do any of us? What 17 year old knows exactly what he wants to do? If you're one of the few who actually did know that you wanted to be a doctor, or a teacher, or join the Peace Corps, or whatever, then I'll admit that I'm pretty jealous of you. 

While I was in college I didn't think about a career. I figured I'd figure it out afterward. Then, a few months before graduation I realized I didn't know what I was going to do with my life. It was then that I started to realize I don't want a typical career. I don't want to work 40, 50, or 60 hours a week outside of my home. It started becoming clear to me that what I wanted was to - one day - be a wife and a mom.

That's why, after school, I didn't try to get my foot in the door at some big company raking in tens of thousands of dollars. I'm not motivated by money, or prestige, or a title like CEO or anything. I want stability, happiness, and a family. There was a time when I didn't think I'd ever have any of that, but that's a story for another time.

What I wanted to tell the man who asked me that question is this: I went to college because it was expected of me, and I didn't know what I'd do otherwise. And I didn't move to the mountains to get rich. I moved to the mountains to be with Keith, and if I can make some extra money to put in the bank and put toward travel plans and our wedding, then that's fine with me. But just because you don't understand that doesn't mean I should feel bad about it.

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Wedding Wednesday: Our Engagement Pictures

A little over five years ago, I worked at a bridal salon selling wedding dresses. Through that job I met Lydia Messenger, a photographer in Southern California. She photographed the weddings of a few friends, and I enthusiastically recommended her services to many of my brides. I remember when I moved to San Luis from Southern California, I thought, "Well, I guess now I'll never get to have Lydia photograph my wedding!" As you all know, last October I moved back down to Southern California to be with Keith, and when we got engaged one of the first things I did was e-mail Lydia and ask if she would shoot our engagement session. I'm so glad she did our shoot and I'm so excited to share some of the photos with you today!!

Don't worry, there are only 130 so this shouldn't take too long. JK JK JK I'm only sharing some of them. You all owe me one.

I'm a huge procrastinator by nature, and it's one of my major faults. If I'm at a restaurant I'll insist on being the last person to order so I can put off ordering for as long as possible. I was the student in college who was finishing my papers 3 minutes before they were due. And for our engagement session, I was looking up pictures I liked on Pinterest the night before the shoot, and I was picking out my outfit and Keith's outfit 30 minutes before we had to leave.

That's called being ON THE BALL. Or, wobbling on the ball trying not to fall off. Whatever.

To be honest, I was really nervous about the session. I'm pretty comfortable in front of a camera, but I've never taken romantic pictures before, and Keith and I aren't the typical "hold each other's face and whispering sweet nothings all tenderly" couple. We're sarcastic, and silly, and not into PDA. I really wanted our pictures to reflect that.

I have to give a ton of credit to Lydia - as soon as we got there I felt so at ease! She made the whole shoot SO much fun and we had a blast! So if you're in the Southern California area and need pictures done I highly recommend Lydia. And you know that's genuine because she doesn't even know I have a blog and she didn't ask me to say this, I just think she's the best and would love for everyone to get to work with her!

Also, I was using this new BB cream that day (and I HATED IT) and the makeup had rubbed off of my nose before we even started shooting, and you can't even tell. When I realized I looked like Rudolph right before we were about to take our pictures I was pretty mad, but Lydia saved the day and I can't thank her enough.

Was that enough of an intro before we get to the pictures? Did you even read anything?

Remember how I said I was nervous about the intimate poses? Well, Lydia is just awesome and I love how these turned out.

This is one of my favorites because the hand on the face + the kiss on the forehead is like... the best thing ever.

I asked if we could bring the dogs and Lydia was all for it, and I'm glad because these are some of our favorite pictures! Before we got the pictures back Keith kept saying, "I can't wait to see our pictures!" and I was like, "Awww really? That's sweet," and he'd reply "Well yeah, the ones with the dogs are gonna be so cute!!!" So I'd roll my eyes and then be like, "OH MY GOSH I KNOW."

Part of the reason I love the dog pictures so much is because of how I used to feel about dogs. Two years ago (ish) I wrote a post about things I don't like, and dogs made the list. I hated their fur, their slobber, their barking, the inconvenience of having a dog, and I even said out loud to multiple people: "Whoever I marry better not want dogs because I'll NEVER live with a dog. EVER!" I just think it's so funny and cool how you really can't predict the future, and how when you really love somebody you can learn to love what they love.

These next photos I like to refer to as the "Devil Wears Prada" photos, because of what happened when we looked at the pictures. I was downloading some to put on Facebook and I download several that looked pretty similar but with small differences, and Keith said, "But those all look the same!" And I wanted to call him Andi Sachs, hold up two blue belts, and reply:

She also took some individuals of us, and I'm dying to get the one of Keith printed out so I can frame it and put it on my desk and also keep it in my wallet. When Keith saw my portrait he said, "It looks like a Macy's ad," and I looked at him like, "MACY'S???" And he said, "What?? I just called you a MODEL!" And I patted him on the head and was like, "You're adorable."

Since our favorite baseball teams are rivals, it seemed only right to take some pictures in our jerseys, and I'm SO GLAD we did!! I love these pictures (especially since the Dodgers are currently in first place SUCK IT) so much!

So, there you have it. We haven't decided for sure if we're using a picture on our invitations, but I really want to, I just don't know which one to choose! Heellllllpppppp please.

Thursday, June 4, 2015

Keith's Blog: AKA The Muhammad Ali of Blog Posts (Like Rocky and Rambo, it only goes downhill from here)

Today I was super lazy so I'm blessing you all with the wit of my fiance. I'll only read him the nice comments so be as brutal as you want.

Hello all you weirdos.  I’m going to start this blog by saying blogging is dumb.  Since blogging is mostly enjoyed by women and the path through a woman’s brain is a quick spiral into madness, I have decided to live without understanding the allure of your online diaries.  Although I have no desire to write this, Juliette pestered me enough to make me give in just to get her to stop.  This is probably setting a dangerous precedent for our upcoming marriage.

Unlike Juliette, I don’t spend my time thinking about cool topics for a blog post so you guys are going to have to live with whatever pops into my head.  Some guy who follows Juliette on Twitter gave me some ideas, so whoever he is gets a few points in my book.

His first idea was to tell a dirty joke.  Juliette was concerned about this so I wrote down my joke and let her judge if it was “appropriate.”  She is a prude so naturally I was censored.  I refuse to waste your time with a sub-par joke, so you can blame Juliette for this waste of a paragraph.

The other idea that the guy had for me was that I should live tweet the Clippers game.  Remember all those points I gave this guy for giving me ideas?  He lost them all and is now in the negatives.  I will never voluntarily tweet anything, and unless you are Stephen Colbert or Jaden Smith, neither should you.

Now I am on my own.  I decided that I will list some interesting/funny things about Juliette that some of you may not know, and if you do it is probably still funny.

-When she gets hungry, she just starts whispering the names of foods that sound good to her.  This can go on for quite some time.  It feels pretty strange when we are sitting there watching tv or a movie and I just hear her whisper to herself, “flautas.” It happens more often than you would think.

-I call the following events the 9 steps of emotional chaos.  This is one of the most entertaining things that Juliette does.  If Juliette is watching tv or a movie, there is no telling what is going to strike an emotional chord.  Obviously the most common catalyst is the death of a beloved character.  Two instances come to mind; the death of McDreamy in Grey’s Anatomy and the death of the old guy in Parenthood.
     Step 1 Complete silence.  This is the stage where she is desperately hoping that what she fears is going to happen won’t happen.
     Step 2The Gasp.  This happens when it is clear that the death is unavoidable.  This is usually my first sign that I’m in for a wild night.  When she is still in step 1, I don’t question the silence.  I just enjoy it.  When I hear the gasp, there is nothing to do but hope that it was caused by making a mistake in candy crush and not related to the show.  (This has happened multiple times so it isn’t unrealistic to hope for)
     Step 3: Intermittent Crying.  I’m usually sitting at my computer when these events are unfolding, and this is the moment I know that the show is about to begin.  Every fifteen seconds or so she lets out a little sob or a sniffle.
     Step 4Craziness.  Once the guy actually dies, it is time for everything to fall apart.  This is when the heavy weeping and sobbing begins.  At this point I am sitting next to her just staring at her because it is fascinating that her world is falling apart because of the death of a fictional character.  I lose track of time in this step so I don’t really know how long it goes on.  I’m going to estimate 30-40 minutes.
     Step 5NO-stradamus.  This stage is impossible to predict.  She will randomly switch between steps 1, 3, and 4.  (Imagine that scene in Friends where Monica is telling Chandler about the seven places that women like to be touched.  It is like that, but not sexual)
     Step 6: Demanding Answers/Offering Explanations.  During this time she calls out (to God? I don’t know) demanding to know why?  How could they do this?  Don’t they know how much Grey has been through?  She already lost her sister and her mom and now her husband, how is she going to get past this?  Eventually I can’t help myself and I start asking questions because stupidly I think there is a way to understand this.  This leads to a mostly unintelligible recap of the entire show squeezed into about 30 seconds.
     Step 7Physical Abuse:  If I have made it this long (and I usually don’t) without laughing, this is when I lose it and she begins to hit me.  Luckily she is too sad for her heart to be in it.
     Step 8: The Cooldown.  We return to step 3.
     Step 9:  It is never that easy.  Only a guy will think a girl’s emotions will follow a logical path.  She is weeping again.
     Step 10: Who Knows?  Nobody knows how long it will take for things to return to normal.  Usually it takes a day or two.  She isn’t ready to laugh about it yet but the crying is pretty much over.  If you want to avoid this catastrophe, you need to deflect her attention while still in step one.  I’ve never managed to avoid this, but I need to believe that it is possible.    

-Juliette has probably written about how she is horrible with directions.  I enjoy testing her when we are driving places on which direction we should go.  She guesses correctly about 20% of the time.  I tried helping her by having her create a mental compass and keep herself oriented by that, but she thinks north is pretty much whatever direction she is facing so I have given up.

-She will watch videos of Baby Kate over and over again.  She will just sit there replaying the video and laughing out of control.  I’m learning how to handle my disappointment when I’m in the middle of telling her a story and she gets one of these videos.  I guess it keeps my ego in check to know that I’m number 2.  (Gross)

-She won’t get mad when you laugh at her when she falls down the stairs for the first time, but if you laugh when she falls down the second time she won’t speak to you for four days.  I learned that the hard way.

-Juliette has improved a lot in handling her reactions to spiders and bugs.  Every once in a while she has a relapse and turns into a screaming banshee.  I’m usually in the other room when this happens and my initial thought is still that a murderer is in the house.  When this happened a couple of nights ago, I caught the spider and had it in a plastic container so she could see how big it was.  She freaked out and was almost in tears because the spider “might want revenge.”  She will feel phantom spiders on her skin for 10-15 minutes.  The most infamous story related to this is the “flying cockroach” in Fullerton.  Ask her about it. 

-She has a very strange fear of getting her potholders and hand towels dirty.  She really likes the ones she has and she just about had a heart attack when she saw me start using her favorite potholder.  Apparently some are just to look at.

I will cap this off by sharing one of my favorite things with you.  If you were bored to death up until now, maybe this will make up for it.  I enjoy watching women in high heels fall down.  My favorite part is the leg wobble when they still think they can save it.


Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Wedding Wednesday: Music

Today I'd planned on posting our engagement pictures along with commentary about what to do vs. what not to do during an engagement photo shoot session, but we haven't gotten them back yet so that post will have to wait 'til next week. I'm SO excited to see the pictures! I've known the photographer who took them for about 6 years and I always pictured her taking some pictures for my eventual engagement/wedding, and I'm so thrilled it all worked out! What's that? You want a sneak peak? You guys, I don't really think I should OH OKAY FINE HERE YOU GO. 

So, since I couldn't post what I originally wanted to I had to rack my brain deciding what wedding related thing I should blog about today. Alison gave me suggestions via Twitter which I really and truly appreciated and I seriously considered them but then I realized I've been wanting to write about wedding music for a while so I'm going that route instead. Sorry Alison. PLEASE STILL BE MY FRIEND.

Before we really get started I just wanted to let you all know that we'll be doing the ceremony outside of the gazebo. Thanks for weighing in on that in this post. My dad was really wanting us to be in the gazebo but I was pretty firm that we wouldn't be doing that. So my most sincere thanks to all of you.

Ok, wedding music. Why is this so hard?? I've been thinking about wedding songs for years and years and years, and now I'm so scared of choosing the wrong song! So, I'd like your help. All of you have had really awesome suggestions, advice, and encouragement, and I appreciate it so much. I can't even tell you. Last night I was thinking maybe I should print it all out and scrapbook it, but then I realized that a blog is like a virtual scrapbook so maybe I don't need to do the scrapbook. Also I'm really lazy and making a scrapbook seems like a lot of work. I'm already planning a wedding and I don't think I need to try any harder to be artsy fartsy (haha fart).

For the past like 10 years I've wanted to walk down the aisle to Pachelbel's Canon in D, but now I'm questioning that choice. For one thing, it's a really long song and I haven't looked at the internet to see if there's a shorter processional version of it. I also don't know if I want the piano version or the string quartet/quintet/symphony/whatever version. I JUST DON'T KNOW. I DO know that I want the music for when the bridesmaids walk down to be different than the music when I walk down, but I have no idea what I want that music to be. There are so many pretty songs! HELP.

For the recessional I know we're going to do something fun, like the Imperial March or the Indiana Jones theme song, but is the Imperial March too overdone? I feel like everybody does it. But we like Star Wars, dammit!

And the first dance... where do I even start with that?? The last time we dated I really wanted to do "Then" by Brad Paisley, but then my brother and his wife made that their first dance so like, obviously I can't do that song. Plus, Keith and I have pretty opposite tastes in music. He likes Billy Joel and I like Lady Antebellum. He likes Tom Petty and I like Ed Sheeran. He likes Boston and I like Adele. DIFFERENT.

About 9 months ago I found what I thought would be the perfect song. I was watching my favorite movie (About Time, if you haven't seen it you're really missing out) and at the end a Ben Folds song played. I started crying thinking THIS IS TOTALLY IT! Here it is. 

Keith and I were still dating long distance at this point, so I texted him and asked him to listen to it. I had all these visions of him thinking it would be perfect and us riding off into the sunset on horses while this song played in the background (don't judge my fantasies), and then I got his reply:

Keith: Okay... how do you want me to handle this?
Keith: I hate that song more than I've hated any other song I've ever heard.

Then I called him and asked him why he was trying to ruin my life. And now whenever we hear the song he likes to skip it or cover his ears and yell, "LALALALALALALALA!!!!!" It's super adorable and mature. You can probably imagine how he feels about John Legend's "All of Me," right? I don't need to tell you.

So, if you could suggest songs that are a mix of what I just told you, that would be great. Whoever suggests the song that we dance to WINS. What do you win? I'll mail you a $5 Starbucks gift card and I'll write a paragraph about you in a blog post. And I'll love you forever. I know the last one is what really matters.

What's next... oh, the father/daughter dance. I remember many years ago when my sisters and I were in the car with my parents driving home from my grandma's house. Bob Carlisle's "Butterfly Kisses" came on the radio and after about 8 seconds my dad shut if off and told us that if we wanted him to remain composed at our weddings, we wouldn't play that song. I can't even mention that song without him getting choked up. It's actually pretty adorable. I'm considering Tim McGraw's "My Little Girl" because there's a line in there that goes, "Daddy, love you more!" and my dad and I used to say "I love you more" ALL THE TIME. But that seems overdone also. Can you tell I'm insecure about this? The other one I like is Heartland's "I Loved Her First." I NEED SUGGESTIONS, PEOPLE. The winner of this song will also get a $5 Starbucks gift card.

The last song I need help with is the song for the bouquet toss. I refuse to do "Single Ladies" so I need other suggestions. The only other one I'm considering is "Bang Bang" by Jessie J., Nicki Minaj, and Ariana Grande. Guys, I'm like obsessed with that song. The winner of this song does not win a $5 Starbucks gift card. What, do you guys think I'm made of money?? I'm not. Speaking of money, click this.

So basically, I need help. First of all, please click this. Second, I need music help. Please feel free to give me your suggestions for what I asked about as well as anything else you think is important. I feel like I only have one chance to get this right and I feel like I'm totally going to screw it up. 

Oh also if you're lucky Keith is going to guest post tomorrow.

Monday, June 1, 2015

This post contains a picture of our wedding venue

It's come to my attention that I never write weekend recaps anymore and I just feel REALLY bad for leaving you all out of the really exciting crap I do on the weekends! You know, like watch entire seasons of Survivor and sleep in 'til noon and sometimes put makeup on. Really, most of my weekends aren't anything notable, but this past weekend was insanely busy and I feel like the internet should hear about it.

I feel kinda bad though, because my stupid phone has a demon in it and it rarely lets me take pictures, save pictures people send me, or upload any pictures to my blog. It also deletes my texts won't let me check my e-mail or play candy crush. Send iPhone 6, please.

But anyway. The weekend started on Thursday night because neither Keith nor I work on Fridays. We were planning to go up to San Luis Obispo for his cousin's wedding, but we had to drive up to his parents house in the valley first. We didn't leave until 10pm on Thursday and the drive is usually between 4-5 hours. THIS trip there was stupid road work and the drive took us just over 5 hours. We got to his parents' house around 3am and I thought I was going to pass out while I was brushing my teeth.

During the drive we got Taco Bell and we both popped squats on the side of the freeway so I guess it wasn't a total bust. And actually I guess I was the only one who technically popped a squat because guys don't really have to squat, do they? I should delete these last two sentences.

Friday Keith played disc golf with his brother and I slept and stuff and then we made the two hours drive over to San Luis to meet my parents at OUR WEDDING VENUE. Guys, if I'm being honest, I absolutely LOVE this venue but I'm terrified that the people who run it are going to screw up our wedding. Remember how I wrote last week about how we almost lost the venue because they screwed up? Well, I had set up a time to meet with someone who worked there so we could be shown around and ask questions and stuff. We were supposed to meet at 2:30 and when nobody was there by 2:45 I called and they were like, "Durrrrr what are you talking about?" And by 3 someone came (it wasn't Riley) and just unlocked a door and then disappeared and I was like OH MY GOSH THESE PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO KILL ME AREN'T THEY, but then my dad was like, "You need to calm down," and he went and got the guy and all our questions were answered and PHEW.

We took some pictures by the gazebo where we'll say our vows in like 118 days or something, and I would like to take a poll. Without telling you which of the four of us (the two of us and my parents) wanted what, I'd like to know if you think we should have the ceremony in the gazebo or just in front of it. The wedding party would be outside but Keith and I and the officiant (who will be my dad) would be inside. Thoughts? Thanks.

After the venue we got cheesy bread and my mom and I bought the most adorable birdcage EVER to use for cards at the wedding. I'd show you a picture but remember how I have a demon phone? My favorite part about the birdcage is that it was on sale for $19.43. Have you ever noticed how expensive birdcages are??? My other favorite thing about the birdcage is how when I showed it to Keith he said, "Oh, it's like the one Rachel bought!" And I looked at him blankly and he sighed and said, "You know, on that episode of Friends where Rachel bought all that crap from Pottery Barn and lied about it to Phoebe! She bought a birdcage!" And I started laughing and feeling proud that he's actually been paying attention to Friends while I've been binge watching it.

Baby Kate was in the craft store with us, and did you know that 20 month old toddlers don't want to just sit quietly and not touch shiny things? It was a workout keeping her from breaking the whole store. But on the upside she said SO MANY WORDS! "Barn!" "Shiny!" "Bunny!" "Meow!" "WHOA!" "Pig!" "Blue!" "Eight!" "Two!" were some of my favorites. She's a little genius. Someday I'll write a post about how much of a genius she is and how she already knows all of her colors and most of her numbers and some letters. Like, sometimes she'll say, "EIGHT!" and her mom will look around and somewhere near her there's an eight. GENIUS.

After THAT we met his brother and sister-in-law for drinks (happy hour margaritas, to be exact) and holy YUM. They also ordered a guacamole cart. AND OH MY GOSH I had queso for the first time in my LIFE. Everything Lindsay and Natalie say about queso is true and my life has been changed forever and I'm drooling just thinking about it.

After THAT we went to his grandparents' house and visited with his grandparents, parents, brother, cousin, and aunt. We did a lot of talking and a lot of eating pizza and brownies and ice cream. And it further cemented into my mind that I'm marrying into a pretty wonderful family. Not just because they like to feed me, but because they're really actually pretty great.

We got to my parents' house (where we were sleeping) around 11 that night and I had stupid insomnia so I was awake until like 1am. I hated it but I got some serious Netflix watching done so that was fine by me. When my alarm went off at 730 the next morning I pretty much hated my life, though.

His cousin Lindsay's wedding started at noon, but the family (which now includes me; I didn't realize all the strings that were attached to my engagement ring jk jk jk sorta) got there early to help set up. We were late and got there around 10 and I didn't even get my coffee. When Keith asked me why I was so cranky I just snapped "I'M JUST REALLY TIRED" because I knew he wouldn't understand the coffee thing. We had to change into our wedding clothes in the park bathrooms because we didn't have time to go anywhere, and I learned that trying not to let any of your clothes or bare feet touch a public park restroom is one of the most difficult things of life. 

The wedding went really well and I don't really have any stories from it except that it was all outside in a park and the aisle runner was thin and there were these vases filled with those flat glass marble things holding the runner down and when people walked down the aisle they knocked them over. It was sort of like dominos.

I'm going to go through the rest of this pretty quickly because I feel like it's way too long and boring (just like the following movies: The Great Gatsby, American Hustle, Thor 2, and District 12). Ready? After the wedding Keith went golfing with his family and I planned wedding stuff with my parents and things got all emotional and sappy and maybe some of us teared up but I'll never tell. Keith and I went back to his grandparents' house and I ate cold pizza which is one of my favorite things in the universe. We drove the 2 hours back to his parents' house. I slept. I feel like I need a new paragraph.

The next day I watched tennis, rugby, and baseball, and did you know watching tennis is like super boring? Sorry if you enjoy it but it's really not my thing. I took a nap and apparently I talked in my sleep but no one has really told me all of what I said. We ate lunch, then we ate ice cream, then around 4 we left for the mountains.

Did you guys know there are tumbleweeds in California? I'm really pissed I didn't get any pictures of them because they were HUGE. There were several times during the drive where I had to literally brake and swerve to avoid hitting a tumbleweed. I don't know if they would have done much damage to my car but I didn't want to chance it.

Then we made it back. I feel like this wasn't as exciting as I thought it would be and I blame that on the lack of pictures.