Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Let's confess some ish

I've never linked up with Kathy for her Wednesday confess sesh, but there's a first time for everything! Plus, I have to get some stuff off my chest. Lezz do it to it.

I confess...
... that I kind of like the "Selfie" song. Not so much that I actively seek it out on the internet and listen to it, but if it comes on the radio I might sort of sing along and dance a little.... like this.
#SELFIE (Club Mix) by mydjspace on Grooveshark

... that I filed my taxes yesterday at about 5:30pm and got a whopping $8 back. But then I had to pay $24.99 to efile them so it didn't really work out for me. Oh and then this morning I got an email saying it was rejected so I have to REfile. Life is fun.
... that on Sunday night for dinner I ate two pieces of bacon and champagne and regret none of it.
... that I haven't felt like buying toilet paper so I've been pilfering a roll here and there from my parents house every few days.

... that I have no idea what to get Keith for his birthday next month. Haaaaalp.

... that I made yesterday's post (I never thought I'd...) into a link up and I just really want people to link up so I can read your stuff.

... that I just sort of sneaked in Kevin's real name up there to see if anybody was paying attention.

... and that "sneaked" looks and sounds weird but I've always been taught that "snuck" isn't a real word (and the red squiggly line appears under "snuck" and not "sneaked" so BOOM roasted) and I'm a pretentious snob who cares about sneaked vs. snuck and further vs. farther and less vs. fewer and YOU'RE VS. YOUR etc etc etc.

Focker OUT.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

I never thought I...

This morning I woke up a half hour earlier than usual because I needed to be online at 7am exactly so I could book a campsite for me and Kevin in Yosemite over Labor Day Weekend. Apparently the camp sites sell out in less than a minute, and I felt like I was Sheldon/Raj/Howard/Leonard when they tried to get tickets to Comic Con. Spoiler alert: I GOT THE TICKETS.
I was pretty proud of myself, and then I just kind of sat there and looked at the site confirmation and was like, "this is weird. I am NOT a camper and I never thought I would be doing this." AND THAT GOT ME THINKING... mostly about showing you guys a picture of Yosemite just in case you've never seen it. But it also got me thinking about things I never thought I'd do. So it's time for another ... you guessed it: LISTICLE. Not to be confused with testicle.
// Book a campsite and be excited about camping. The last time I went camping was over 10 years ago and I had to bring my own food. I took a loaf of WonderBread, some lunch meat, a Dr. Pepper, and some cinnamon PopTarts that I thought were S'more flavored. it was horrible.
// Date Kevin again.
// Enjoy eating tomatoes. I used to HATE tomatoes, but then my aunt made me try some from her garden and holy mother of vegetables those little suckers are DELICIOUS. And now I eat tomatoes wherever I go unless they look all old and mealy because that shit is disgusting.
// Wake up on the daily before 630am. I am a sleeper, I've discussed this before. But now I wake up at 6:23 Monday through Friday and it's surprisingly not the worst thing in the world.
// Want to elope. I always thought I wanted a huge wedding with the big poofy dress but the more I think about it the more I just think weddings are stressful and expensive and whenever I get married (NOT SOON) maybe it's not worth all the hassle? Who knows. Don't judge.
// Not be married at 25.
// Like dogs. Ever since a Jack Russell Terrier attached its mouth to the bell bottom of my jeans when I was a kid I swore I'd never have a dog. But now I'm dating a guy with two dogs and I'm trying to convince him to let me get a puppy. WHO HAVE I BECOME.
// Not be blonde. I haven't colored my hair in 10 months and I'm starting to miss the blonde, but I definitely do not miss paying for highlights.
Much blonde. Much domestic.
// Have a blog that people read slash make actual friends from blogging. Both happened, and both are amazing.
// Grow out of all my jeans. Oops. Carbs happened.
// Not care about what I wear in public. Seriously, I could not care less. I wear sweats with holes in them, a sweatshirt my sister found at a party that has a questionable stain that could very well be blood, and gold moccasins on a daily basis. I could not care less how sloppy I look when I go to the grocery store to buy myself a bottle of champagne and some Cheez Its, and it's sort of liberating.
That's all for now. 
The Other Juliette

Monday, April 14, 2014

At least the bacon was delicious

My idea of cooking is going to Panera and ordering a bacon turkey bravo, or just sitting at home with a bottle of champagne and some Cheez Its. But every once in a while I decide to broaden my horizons, like when I read a delicious recipe on Lindsay's blog or when I think it might be fun to impress Kevin with my skills of domestication (that's a word and it'a also sarcasm). So on Friday I decided to make pulled pork sandwiches and it was the easiest thing I've ever done. If you want the recipe just google "Pulled pork sandwiches crock pot" and you'll get a bunch of ideas. All I did was throw a 2 lb. hung of pork shoulder or loin (hehehe) (I can't remember which one) into a crock pot with a chopped yellow onion, some BBQ sauce, and honey, and I let everything get all friendly up in there for like 8 hours. Dee-LISH.
After that Kevin was like, "Ok, it's time to watch the horror movie Sinister that you said you'd watch with me!" And I was like, "Ok, we can watch it, but I think I'm going to need 3 shots of Fireball and also some mimosas to help me not pee my pants from fright." So we took shots and I took zero pictures of it, and the movie is really creepy because it involves children and children in horror movies are the epitome of horror and awfulness, in my opinion.
Saturday Kevin asked, "What's the plan for today?" And I hadn't made any plans because I am not a planner, so I stammered "Uhhhh oh, well, um, I'm a bad hostess and I don't have a plan sooooooo what do you want to do?" And we decided to get massive sandwiches and eat them by the lake, and it was cool, except my sandwich was huge and it was messy and we didn't have any napkins but whatever. I just told him to not look at me when I had food all over my face and I THINK he obliged.
Then before we left we decided to climb some trees because we're 11 years old, but I was having the most difficult time ever because did you know that climbing trees requires arm strength and core strength?? I tried like 20 times to get up into this one tree but I kept just running and jumping at the branch and hitting it with my chest and falling. It was embarrassing. And look at this dog!
It looked nothing like this but this dog is amazing.
FINALLY I got myself into a tree and I yelled, "HEY KEVIN. Take my picture so I can internet it and show people I can climb trees!" And he laughed and said, "But you're only two feet off the ground," And I got a little huffy and said, "I DON'T CARE." And he took a few pictures and laughed at how awkward I looked and I said, "Wow, you're never going to be allowed to take pictures for my blog," and he said, "GOOD."
Then, I stole some movies.
LET ME EXPLAIN. We went to the video store (video stores still exist in my town, just little ones though, not a Blockbuster or anything) because we wanted to watch Captain America and The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug, but we couldn't find either of them on the shelves. So I asked the owner if they had Captain America and he finally found one copy, and I replied, "Cool."
Then we were looking in the new releases section for The Hobbit and we saw some hoodlums having some problems.
"Dude, they're probably out of The Hobbit Two." And I was thinking "THAT'S NOT WHAT IT'S CALLED." But I stayed quiet.
"Wait here it is!"
"That's the first one."
"Damn, they probs don't have it."
 Uh people, please don't speak in abbrevs. Thx.
"Just keep looking, I really want to see it."

I decided to outsmart them (wasn't hard) so I asked the owner if they had the second hobbit movie and he looked in the RETURN bin and said (loudly), "OH HERE IT IS WE JUST HAVE ONE COPY." So I very quickly said "Ok we'll take it here's your money thanks BYE." And we left and Kevin was like, "Wow. that was really mean of you and those people were glaring at you big time." And I was like, "Oh, did I get some side eye?" And he asked what side eye is and thus ensued a discussion and demonstration of side eye but he still didn't get it so whatever Kevin, you're fired from blogging.
I tried to make Lindsay's recipe for cream cheese filled, bacon wrapped jalapeno poppers and I failed.
But the bacon was still delicious. There was a bunch of grease in the pan and since I'm really smart and I know grease isn't supposed to go in the sink drain I grabbed something to pour the grease into. Genius Juliette just got the first thing her hands touched, which happened to be a styrofoam cup. Do you know what happens when you pour hot grease into a styrofoam cup? THIS.
Moving on....we watched Captain America and you guys, I like superhero movies A LOT, but I just couldn't love Captain America. I just kept laughing at it and Kevin was like, "STOP LAUGHING," but I didn't. We were about to turn on The Hobbit but then Kevin was like,
K: "I wish we had some cookie dough."
J: "Let's go get some."
K: "Not the already made stuff, though. I want to MAKE cookie dough."
So we went to Food 4 Less and got ingredients and sat on the sofa and stuffed our faces with homemade cookie dough and watched the hobbit movie and it was really awesome and I liked that movie more than Captain America, but I was pretty annoyed that it deviated so much from the book. I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW. THAT ALWAYS HAPPENS. But it never fails to piss me off.
We're almost done, I promise. On Sunday we had a pretty full day. You may or may not remember that my dad is a pastor. April 1st marked his 25th anniversary of pastoring the church I grew up in, so there was a celebration. It's pretty rare for a pastor to stay at the same church for so long, so it was a big deal and there were a bunch of people there. A bunch of people that I've known since I was 9 months old. A bunch of people who have never seen me with a boyfriend except Kevin the last time we dated, who kept asking me when we're getting married. So that was fun. At the end we took our first family picture with Baby Kate and that was my favorite thing.

That's about it.

But since it's been a while, I'll just end with some pictures of 6 month old Baby Kate, aka my favorite person in the world.

Thanks for reading, come again please.

Ameliorer la Vie

Friday, April 11, 2014

Things I've learned the hard way

//Don't use your cell phone while you're driving (it's illegal in California). And if you get a ticket for it once, don't do it again and get a second ticket.

//Don't ever shave your eyebrows. It's not a good look for ANYONE.

//Don't cut your own bangs.

//Don't drink on an empty stomach. Or do. Just maybe not in excess.

//If your gas light comes on don't try and see how long you can drive before you run out of gas.

Pretend like this gif works.
//Don't try and sing karaoke on a Monday night after you've chugged four AMFs. Especially don't try and sing "Like a Virgin" and "Smooth" if you don't actually know how the song goes. Your roommate will have to hold you vertical on the stage so you don't fall into the drummer and then the bouncer will suggest you leave. On a Monday. Before 10pm. And you will take a nap next to a tree.

//If you haven't run at all in the past year, don't sign up for a 5K "just for fun." It's never fun.

//If your boyfriend takes you to the drive in to see District 9, don't fall asleep five minutes in. He'll be mad at you.

//Always pay your bills on time. Especially if the bill collectors have your parents' home phone number and they can call them and then your parents find out how irresponsible you are and it's awkward all around.

//You will never wear purple corduroy capri pants. Don't buy them.

//Don't ever put your hand through a window.

//Don't ever start painting your nails after 9 on a weeknight.

//Candy is a horrible dinner. Delicious for five minutes, but horrible.


//Don't ever make excuses to keep dating a guy, especially if every time you talk to him you end up in tears.

//Don't place your worth in a man.

//Don't go for "just one more shot." It's never just one more and it's never worth it.
That's all. It's Friday and Kevin will be here at 4 and I'm making pulled port for dinner and then we're watching a horror movie and going for a night hike because I am an awesome girlfriend k the end BYE.

 photo ScreenShot2013-06-23at112320PM_zps46bb1b5d.png

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Irrational Anxiety

In college I had a total freak out melt down one night when I realized that Kevin and I were supposed to go on a picnic over the weekend and I didn't know what kind of bread to use for our sandwiches. Did he like white? Wheat? Whole grain? Bagel thins? I had no idea and it kept me up at night. I'm pretty sure I ended up getting some whole grain stuff with the seeds and stuff on the top and it was completely fine and my anxiety was all for nothing. But then last night I had to go to the grocery store because I'm going to make pulled pork sandwiches on Friday night, and I started getting a little nervous because I wasn't sure if I needed pork tenderloin or pork shoulder (or if there's even a difference), what kind of BBQ sauce to get (honey, chipotle, spicy, mild, why are there so many choices?!?!?), what color onion, etc etc etc. It also didn't help that I forgot which grocery store I was in and I got totally turned around and had a mild panic attack when I thought I was supposed to be by the vegetables but instead I was over by the toilet paper and I felt personally victimized by the grocery store for confusing me even though it was 100% my fault.
So then I started thinking about other things that make me have irrational panic attacks, and since I'm super nice and generous I'm going to share the list with you.
1. When the battery on my phone gets below 20% and I don't have access to a charger. Or when my phone freezes and I'm convinced it's going to be dead forever and I'm going to lose all my pictures and text conversations.

2. When I go to the grocery store and either can't find the items I need or somebody else is standing right in front of them and I have to pretend to be interested in the packages of kosher bread or something while they finish looking at the different kinds of salsa because you better believe I'm not saying "excuse me" and butting in front of them.

3. When I get road rage driving behind a person and drive by them to yell at them only to realize... I recognize them. From church.

4. When I'm in line at Starbucks or Jamba Juice and I can't decide if I want to stick with my vanilla macchiato or try something different like an iced soy toffee nut something and all of a sudden it's my turn and I haven't decided but there are a bunch of people behind me and I am totally holding everything up.

5. When my landlord tells me that he's going to come over with an electrician when I get off work to fix some broken outlets but I haven't had a chance to clean the kitchen and also I just wanted to eat my leftover burrito on the couch with no pants on but now I can't and my plans got changed and I wasn't ready for it.

6. When my gas light comes on and I wasn't expecting it and I don't know how much farther can I go before it's really necessary to get gas?

7. Any time I see a spider. DIE, BITCH.

8. When my boyfriend doesn't text back and I'm sure it's because he's dead.
Also I really love this gif

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Hair and makeup tips and tricks

 I have always loved makeup. In high school when I wasn't hanging out at the grocery store or the video store with Cristen (I was the absolute COOLEST) I would sit in my room and mess around with makeup only to wash it off immediately and go to bed. I watched What Not to Wear and How Do I Look? and basically any makeover show simply for the 5 minutes they spent transforming people through makeup.

+ Eyebrows, eyebrows, eyebrows. Please don't neglect your eyebrows. They can change your whole face! For more proof just read this Buzzfeed post. The trend lately is fuller more natural looking brows, and I am loving it. In the past I've subscribed to the "less is more" approach when it comes to eyebrows... but that was a mistake. You guys. When I was in 8th grade I straight up SHAVED MY EYEBROWS.

If you're not sure how to fill in your eyebrows, well, all I can tell you is to go to YouTube and search some stuff and watch some videos until you figure it out. Just make sure you only fill in where you already have hair. I'm a huge fan of using powder but I've been wanting to try the wax stuff. Pencils have always seemed a little too harsh for my taste, plus if you mess up it's harder to fix your mistake. Just trust me and practice filling in your eyebrows, ok? I took some pictures yesterday of my eyebrows before and after I fill them in. The difference is subtle but I feel totally naked without doing my eyebrows. Excuse the white eyelashes please.
 + Hair. I curl my hair just about every day. I use a 3/4" Conair curling iron but I've been thinking about trying a 1" or a 1.5" soon. Two things have helped me to get looser waves instead of looking like I just jumped out of Little House on the Prairie like this:
I'm pretty sure I sent this to a guy in a terrible attempt to flirt.
 One: Once the curls cool, comb them out with your fingers. Do not run a brush through your hair. Just use your fingers and tousle the curls. If your hair doesn't hold a curl very will you might want to use some hairspray before you do this, but I prefer to use hairspray after.
Two: Don't curl the very ends. I leave an inch or two at the bottom out of the curling iron so it doesn't curl. This is something I've notice people with beachy waves do. If you curl all the way to the ends you just look like I do in the picture up there ^^^ and it's not a good look. I also like to think that it saves the ends from breakage. Maybe?
  + Skin. Moisturize, moisturize, moisturize. I don't use any fancy brand of moisturizer, usually just Cetaphil or a cheap Up & Up brand from Target, though I'm not sure how long I'll be able to keep that up. Another thing I've learned about my skin is that it's really sensitive to anything touching it. I tend to rest my head in my hands a lot and I touch my chin and that's where I ALWAYS break out: the sides of my chin. Basically it looks like the acne version of Hulk Hogan's facial hair. BUT since I realized this, I've tried really hard to not touch my face as much, and I've noticed a difference! So keep your hands off.

+ In general, just blend. Blend your foundation, blend your blush, blend your eye shadow. Just blend. And then when you think you've blended enough, blend a little more. Like when you make smoothies... you might think it's all blended but it really sucks when you get a chunk of ice in your mouth when you're not expecting it. Don't let anybody see a chunk of ice in your eye shadow.

+ Other
     - You can use a toilet seat cover to blot away any excess oil on your face. Lindsay (who you should be reading) and I have talked about this and I've decided that I really need to remember to take a cover from the next stall I use and tear it into little pieces and keep those in a purse. FREE OIL BLOTTER.
     - In the shower I try to just use conditioner on the ends of my hair. I used to use it all over and massage it into my scalp, but for about 9 months I've switched it up and I can really tell a difference! I'm realizing that there's a very good chance that I'm just an idiot and I was the only person who did that with conditioner, and if that's the case please don't tell me. Just let me feel proud of myself for making the change.
     - You can use conditioner in place of shaving cream. Do it. Love it.
     - Cheez Its are everything. Oh sorry does this not belong here?
     - I love using Garnier sea salt spray. I wash my hair at night and while it's wet I spritz some in and in the morning it holds a curl much better.
     - I also love using Bio Silk silk therapy on the ends of my hair. I drop a nickel sized amount in my hand and rub it all over the bottom half of my hair.

That's all. For now, at least. Clearly I'm an expert because I've watched hours and hours of Carmindy and what's better than that?

What are some of your favorite beauty tips? I love finding out new tips and tricks!