Monday, June 30, 2014

Let's talk about blogging

The other day, Faith came up with an idea to blog every day in July. When she first told me about her plan I was like, "Cool story bro," and when she suggested I do it with her I came up with every excuse under the sun. It'll be hard. I don't want to. What will I write about? It sounds like a lot of work and you know how lazy I can be. But Faith and Allie ganged up on me and wouldn't let me say no, and the more I thought about it the more I was like, "Ok fine this isn't such a bad idea." The more we talked, the more we decided it might be a cool idea to have other people join us and we decided to make this open to everyone. We even made a cool looking button if you decide to join us. And you will decide to join us (this is me Jedi mind tricking you into joining us). Come on, we'll have fun!
Allieology

And because we are really nice and stuff, we figured we would just go ahead and give you 31 topics you could blog about. So let's get this party started, shall we?

July 1st: Canada Day - Yes this is a real thing. Kind of like Independence Day for us in America. So because one of our lovely hosts is Canadian, we're going to celebrate with her. Want to know all about Canadia? Pose some questions about our lovely neighbor to the North and Faith will answer all of them for you. Ask her what they call semi trucks in Canadia. ASK HER.
July 2nd: Guilty Pleasures - You know all those things that you really love but maybe don't want to admit that you really love.
July 3rd: Update on Getting Uncomfortable in 2014 - What have you done out of your comfort zone this year? 
July 4th: Independence Day - All things 'Murica
July 5th: Super Powers - Which super powers have you always wished you had? Well today, you have them. Tell us all about it.
July 6th: Things You'll Never Do - Like never, ever, ever. 
July 7th: Things That Make You Smile - Y'all love making lists right?
July 8th: Things You Do When You're Alone - Share all your secrets with us. Points for those of you that mention not wearing pants when you're alone.
July 9th: Most Embarrassing Story - Some of us have a ton to pick from. Share with us something really embarrassing you've done in your life.
July 10th: Favorite Things to do in the Summer -Want to write a bucket list? Want to share your favorite summer activities? Today, we are celebrating summer.
July 11th: Funnies on Pinterest - Click on over to the humor section on Pinterest and then come share your favorites with us.
July 12th: Five People - Tell us five people (dead or alive) that you would like to have dinner with.
July 13th: One Thing You Cannot Live Without - Anything goes, well anything except a person or an animal. It has to be a thing.
July 14th: Finish the Sentence - We will give you a few statements, you finish the sentence. Come back from these a little later.
July 15th: Write a Letter to an Inanimate Object - Tell Chick Fila how much you love it, or tell your iPhone how you couldn't make it without it. The funnier, the better.
July 16th: Top 3 Favorite Blogs - The one that makes you laugh, the one that makes you cry, or even the one that just has a really pretty blog design. Share your 3 favorites with us!
July 17th: All About Your City - Take us on a tour of your city. It can be the city you were born in or the city you live in now. Just tell us everything there is to know about where you call home.
July 18th: Five Favorites - We wanna know about your new favorite song, lipstick, or even new candle from Bath & Body Works. Share the goods, y'all!
July 19th: Switch Day - Today you get to switch places with anyone. How would your day go? What would you do? Would you want to switch back at the end of the day?
July 20th: Would You Rather - Ever played that game where you're given 2 choices and you HAVE to pick one? Come back for your choices later!
July 21st: Your Day in Gifs - We all love gifs around here and we really love multiple gifs in one post. We're doing that today.
July 22nd: Things That Make You Go 'Hmm" - Ever think about something and just wonder why it is the way it is? Share your 'hmm' moments with us.
July 23rd: Currently (reading, writing, listening, thinking, smelling, wishing, hoping, wearing, wanting, loving, needing) - Tell us what you are currently doing when it comes to these topics.
July 24th: Throwback Thursday - Breakout the baby pictures and start looking up how much a gallon of gas used to cost. We want to know what the world was like the year you were born.
July 25th: Favorite apps - What apps can you not live without? We need to know them.
July 26th: A Picture An Hour  - If you need to set alarms, that will work. But take one picture an hour for 12 hours and share them with us.
July 27th: Interview Someone - We'll supply the questions, you pick the person.
July 28th: 3 Pictures - Share your favorite pictures. 1 of anything, 1 you took, and 1 selfie.
July 29th: All About You - Tell us 5 things you love about yourself
July 30th: Sorry Not Sorry -  Confess all of your 'sorry not sorry' moments with us.
July 31st: Blogging is Hard - We're all done! Now celebrate by telling us why blogging can be so hard sometimes!
31 days of topics. We'd really love for you to join us everyday, but we understand if you can't. Wait. No we don't understand. All 31 days, let's do this!

Thursday, June 26, 2014

It's a good day when...

I kid you not, I was just sitting here trying to decide what to blog about and not coming up with anything when I was going through my list of favorite blogs and came across this linkup on Lisa's blog and I told myself, "Self, you are going to participate." And so here we are. Pardon me while I just go ahead and ramble about the things that make a good day for Juliette.

=It's A Good Day Linkup
.. the stupid crow outside my bedroom window doesn't start squawking at 530am. I WILL FIND YOU AND I WILL KILL YOU.

... I have plenty of contacts (I wear dailies) and don't have to worry about wearing my glasses in order to save my contacts for a particular day.

... my pants slide on easily and I don't have to do that awkward hop around the room to get them over my donk.

... I make it to work on time.

... Keith texts me before I text him. Being the first one to text makes me feel clingy.

... my boss gets his own coffee.

... actually, when my boss takes the day off.

... my boss lets me go home early.

... I have a breakfast burrito.

... I have a brilliant idea for a blog post and it basically just writes itself (this has never happened but I imagine it would be awesome).

... all my people are on Gchat.

... I don't have any pimples on my chin. I'm 26 and I drink tons of water and don't eat much crap food anymore, so face, WHY do you insist on torturing me like this? Jerk.

... my fridge is stocked with champagne and I don't have to go to the store to get some. People, ugh.

... I get the sudden urge to clean and then I'm left with a spotless apartment and a sense of accomplishments (never happens).

... I get to see Baby Kate.

...it's a Saturday.

...I'm at Keith's house.

... I eat a sandwich.

... I'm in bed by 9.

... there's a new episode of Grey's, Scandal, Parenthood, Revenge, Sons of Anarchy, or a whole new season of Orange is the New Black to watch.

... it's raining.

... it's not summer.

... my gas tank is full.

... it's payday.

... that's all.
Oh also I'm going to ask you all for something because I don't mind asking for favors. It will take 2 seconds. Ok maybe more like 7. Just click on this link and then click all the links in that post because CLICKS MATTER, PEOPLE. And I only have 4 days to get 50+ clicks. Thanks I love you so much.

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Girls can be plumbers too


Yesterday morning I was getting ready for work and decided it was a "gold jewelry" day. Some days are silver, some days are gold, and the split is about 50/50. I was putting the plain gold chain around my wrist when it slipped and right before my sleepy eyes... it disappeared down the sink drain. If you're thinking, "But Juliette, that's just a boring ass gold chain, go to Claire's and get another one!" then I have something to tell you: it's Betsey Johnson and I got it at Nordstrom Rack and I really love it so shut up. As the realization of what had just happened hit me, the only reaction I had was this:


Because I'm not dramatic. And for the rest of the day I walked around dejected and depressed, like all these guys on Arrested Development:


Luckily for me, there are wonderful people in the Twitterverse, and after I tweeted my sad story for the day, Becca directed me to this link which provides a very handy step-by-step tutorial for how to get things out of the sink drain. At first I was like, "Lolololol, I'm not going to be able to do that, it probably requires tools and we all know what happens when women try to use tools..."


That was a joke, please take your panties out of the wad they are in. Anyway, I was pleasantly surprised to find that no tools were required for this project. So as soon as I got home I changed into some clothes that could get dirty (I'd never done this before, I had no idea that I wasn't going to get dirty), and then realized I needed a bucket so I took my grungy butt out to the Dollar Tree and got what looks more like a bedpan than a bucket. Then I took everything out from under the sink and found lots of stuff I didn't know was there, like bandaids, baking soda, and a magic eraser. Then I paid attention to the article.


I kept thinking of the J-Bend as the U-Bend and I felt like my life would be MUCH simpler if Moaning Myrtle was in my apartment because I could just send her down the drain. After all, isn't she used to spending her time in the U-Bend? ANYWAY.

Within the first 5 seconds I was ready to give up because one of the slip nuts (hehehe) was too hard (hehehe) to get off (oh my gosh they just keep coming... and hehehe again). So after half crying "Whyyyyyyy?" I gave it my all and off came the nut! Then nut 2 came off and I emptied the J-Bend into the bed pan and my nose was assaulted by the most foul smell ever, which probably shouldn't be surprising considering what came out of the drain.


Maybe I should have warned you that there was a slightly gross picture in this post? My bad. The bracelet is in the top left and I don't know what the other crap was, but it smelled RANK. I'm not entirely convinced that I put the J-Bend back the way it's supposed to go but I haven't noticed it leaking yet so I'm just going to leave it for now. I scrubbed my hands and let the bracelet soak for a very long time and then patted myself on the back for proving to myself that I am independent and I do not need a man... which is good because if I did I'd be screwed because Keith lives 4.5 hours away. But I felt very accomplished and I spent the rest of the night reading Allegiant and then I was in bed at 9pm.

Now all I need to do is figure out how to fix the downstairs toilet because you have to REALLY hold down the handle to get it to flush.

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

The thing about underwear...

(This post is sponsored by U by Kotex pads but all opinions are my own, I promise.)
There are two underwear related things that I hate with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns:
1) Wearing underwear that is too small, and
2) When underwear gets ruined because I don't have the proper protection.
During that oh-so-special time of the month (when I believe ladies should get a free day off work to wallow in our misery slash eat chocolate and watch sad movies and only wear sweat pants and not regular pants) it's pretty generally known that you need protection. And if you don't know that then please stay far away from me. But what about during the rest of the month? How do you make sure your underwear doesn't get ruined without feeling like you're wearing an uncomfortable diaper?
I'LL TELL YOU.

U by Kotex is my favorite brand of that kind of protection. And I'm not just saying that. Whenever I see posts by people about Kotex I sit and think, "Man, that is SO true. Kotex is the best!" And now I get to share this lovely product with all of you!

Plus, since I'm all about judging a book by its cover pad by its wrapper, I get excited about how fancy Kotex makes their wrappers.

U by Kotex has this fancy aspect which is 3D capture core and it will save your fancy panties. Or your regular panties. Or all of your panties that you don't want to have ruined. Don't believe me? Visit Kotex and sign up for your own free samples and we can all celebrate together! (Virtually, of course.)

Weekend Anecdotes

Probably one of the following anecdotes could have been thought out more and turned into a full blog post, but thinking isn't my specialty lately so you're stuck with little bits and pieces of stories. And also this most beautiful picture of me.

And my niece.


On Friday I had big plans for my night alone, so I went to the store to get supplies: three bottles of $4 champagne. While I was in line, the older gentleman ahead of me looked at what I was buying and said, "Wow! It looks like you're having a party! I wish I was going to your house!" So I went along with it and made up a story about how I had friends in town and we were going to be drinking mimosas and three bottles might not actually be enough for all the shenanigans were were planning, so I might have to come back to the store. He told me not to drink and drive and then left. So I said to the checker, "I just didn't have the heart to tell him that all I'm planning on doing tonight is going home and drinking a mimosa and crocheting while I watch the Rachel McAdams time travel movies." She nodded sympathetically and let me purchase my booze with my expired license.

Even though I'd watched About Time on Thursday I wanted to watch it again on Friday because hello, it's the best movie ever. And I love this song by Ben Folds. So with a little mimosa in me I texted Keith that he needed to please listen to the song because it made me think of him. About 5 minutes later he said, 

"Ok. How do you want me to handle this?"

And then he proceeded to tell me that he hates that song more than any other song he's ever heard, so then I got all mad at him and told him that I guess I had to pick a new song for our first dance (at the wedding that doesn't exist because we are not engaged, don't worry) and then he said that we could play that song if he was drunk. It was lovely. He also hated "All of Me" by John Legend so now I know to never tell him to listen to any songs again because he's a song ruiner.
The Luckiest by Ben Folds on Grooveshark

On Saturday I watched Million Dollar Baby, which I'd never seen before but the internet ruined the ending for me so I wasn't too surprised when SPOILER ALERT Clint Eastwood pulled the plug on Hilary Swank. Then later Keith and I were talking about it and he said that if he was ever paralyzed from the waist down he would appreciate it if I would pull the plug on him, and then we got into an argument about how if he was only paralyzed from the waist down his lungs probably wouldn't have been injured so it's totally a moot point. That led to a discussion about what would be dealbreakers in our relationship and I told him a dealbreaker for me is if he murdered someone I love and he said a dealbreaker for him is if I become a terrorist. We have a really healthy relationship and have very wonderful and heartfelt conversations.

On Saturday night I went and saw Maleficent and enjoyed butter and salt covered movie theater popcorn that I inhaled because it's delicious. And I think Angelina Jolie is amazing and I loved her fake cheekbones and omg her lips are HUGE and I wish my lips were that huge. And I want her lipstick. And her wings. I really want her wings. I didn't care for Elle Fanning because she just seems like an airhead but maybe that was the point? IDK. Also Umbridge was a pixie in that movie and it was weird and I felt confused.

On Sunday I woke up at 730 in the morning with the MOST INTENSE pain on my right side, and I convinced myself it was appendicitis. Usually when I have mysterious ailments I call my aunt, who's a nurse, but it was too early to call her so I just figured I'd wait for like 2 hours and then call her. So I just hung out on my bed writhing in pain and wondering how long it takes to die from appendicitis. but then at like 815 it just STOPPED OUT OF NOWHERE. So probably the most reasonable explanation is that I had a serious case of gas. Super.

So basically I spent all weekend watching movies. And on Sunday I didn't go outside ONE TIME. NOT EVEN ONCE. And I don't regret it, not even a little.

Thursday, June 19, 2014

My little quirks (+ sponsors!)

Have you read Allie's blog post from today yet? I'm stealing it. She wrote all about her quirks and I was like, "Hey, thanks for the idea!" Because sometimes you can't come up with your own ideas. And actually, that's been me a lot lately, but let's just gloss over that fact and I'll go ahead and write down some of my weird quirks.



+ If I'm sitting on a couch, I HATE sitting on the part where two cushions come together. I don't want to feel that crack near my crack.

+ If I feel like there's a hair from my head that has gone rogue and fallen down my shirt, I MUST FIND IT. I don't care where we are, I will stick my hand up the back of my shirt and search for that hair. At work, at the grocery store, at a bar... I NEED to find that hair.

+ When I go shopping I never take the first item on the shelf. Whatever I need, I take the 2nd, 3rd, or 4th item because fewer people have touched it, and you know, germs.

+ When I wear my glasses I feel like my eyes don't open all the way and I feel half asleep. I hate it.

+ I HATE having hangnails, but instead of just ignoring them until they go away, I pick pick pick at them and make them a million times worse. It's the same with pimples. And chipped nail polish. And ugh life is so hard.

+ I have a very strict routine in the shower and I never deviate from it. Well, except I don't shave my legs every time I shower so sometimes I skip that, but IF I shave then I always do it at the same point in the shower: right leg is after the shampoo is in and my face is washed, and left leg is after the conditioner is in.

+ I would rather wear slacks than jeans. Or dress pants, whatever you want to call them.

+ I have the best sponsors this month. Keep reading and meet two more!

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Meet Kala, from My Breezy Room
Where do I even begin with Kala? Probably the most important thing I should tell you is that she's a newlywed. A VERY newlywed. As in, she got married 13 days ago! But I also really want to tell you that she replied to one of my e-mails WHILE she was on her honeymoon (and while she was busy getting a butt blister). That's some serious blog dedication, if you ask me. Speaking of dedication, Kala is really dedicated to repurposing furniture. Like sanding, painting, CHALKBOARD painting, and et cetera and so on and so forth. She doesn't sugar coat anything, either. Her posts don't make me think "Oh, this will be a breeze!" (see what I did there?) and then when I try it myself I"m like "....this was not a breeze." Example: This post, where Kala tells how difficult chalkpainting can actually be. But then she goes and makes an old nightstand look beautiful, and I'm just over here like, um Kala, can you come over please and redecorate my apartment?? Probably not right now though because I know you have a lot going on, what with trying to find a place to live in the next week. So, you guys, go ahead and just stalk the ever living daylights out of Kala, get to know her, and you will have no regrets. Swear't.
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Meet AJ, from Oh Hey It's AJ

I love AJ's blog because the way she writes makes it really easy to get a great mental image of what she's talking about! Plus, I mean, she has a picture of her with the most mischievous looking lemur (that's a lemur, right?) I've ever seen, and it doesn't get any better than that. writes about all kinds of things, and something I love is how real she is, especially when she writes about her love of art or her battle with anxiety. The anxiety post really moved me because I've struggled with that in the past and I've known people who have, as well. It really helps to know you're not alone in some struggles. Oh, and AJ uses GIFs in her posts, which obviously I love, and I'm certain you will too. If you want to read more, there's another post here that I suggest you read. Also, AJ and her husband George are expecting another baby in a few months!! I for one can't wait to see pictures when the little one arrives. Follow AJ and don't miss a thing!! (Links provided to make it easy for you, you're welcome.)

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Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Confessions because it's Wednesday, come on, you know that

I love that Kathy hosts this Wednesday confession link-up. It's a good prompt and I always enjoy browsing the other links and reading the confessions of other bloggers! So let's do it to it.

Vodka and Soda

// You guys. I had the best birthday. It was super low key but I felt the love pouring out from my friends, family, and the internet!! Thank you all for your sweet words... I'm looking forward to 26.

// I saw The Fault In Our Stars last night and I really loved it. I was a little nervous because I heard some people say that Ansel Elgort (Gus) wasn't very good, but I thought he did great! And Shailene portrayed Hazel pretty well, in my opinion. The ending of the movie was different from the book but I really liked it... no problems with that! The only thing... I didn't cry. I guess now that I'm 26 I'm just way more emotionally stable or something. Plus I really had to pee and that had me pretty distracted.



// Keith wants me to hike in the Grand Canyon with him, so I was looking it up online today and I just started laughing because are you serious?? It's like 22+ miles and it looks really hard and steep and hot and there aren't toilets at the bottom of the canyon (Duh, Juliette), and you have to put your USED toilet paper in a ziploc bag and carry it out with you. Ha ha, Keith, ha ha. Let's stick with going to outdoor concerts, ok?

// I ate cookies for breakfast. No regrets.



// The other day my boss asked me, "Is there less of you?" and I was like "Sweet! My sickness from last week paid off!"

// Yesterday I googled "sexy fruit" because of a conversation with Lindsay. Apparently pomegranates and kiwi are very sexy.

// Today after work I'm getting my shneck X-rayed. I figured out that it hurts the worst when my arm is just hanging by my side so I've been trying to have it resting on something at all times. I'm ready to find out what is actually going on. Ugh.

// I have some sponsors for you to meet and I will be personally offended if you don't check them out.
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Meet Steph, from Insert Classy Here!
Steph and her husband Justin recently made a major life change when they packed up their two dogs and moved all the way from Minnesota to the shores of the Hudson River. While clicking your way through Insert Classy Here you will find that Steph and I share some of the same guilty pleasures (Cheez Its and drinking champagne out of the bottle!), you will read some things she's not sorry about, and you will be inspired by her 30 by 30 list (I want to make one of those!). Steph and Justin also love baseball and she posts about their trips to different stadiums. In this post she wrote about seeing the Oakland A's. As a huge Dodgers fan I usually try to avoid anything to do with Bay Area baseball teams, but since she saw the A's and not the Giants I'm giving her a free pass. So by now you want to get to know Steph a little better, right? RIGHT? Here, I've made it easy for you and provided all the links so you can sufficiently stalk her. Get clicking!!
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Meet Jenn from Hello Rigby!
Jenn is lucky enough to live in a place I am dying to visit: Seattle. She rocks a bright lip like nobody's business and has a dog that looks like a fox! Her dog, Rigby, is the inspiration behind her blog name. If you see a picture on her blog that she's in, it was taken by her assistant main man, Dave. Otherwise she takes all her own photos and girlfriend does a great job! Jenn has fantastic style and she gives you the opportunity to shop her closet! She also spends a lot of time reading and tells you about what she's read... I'm an avid reader so I love that she does this! As a self-diagnosed shopaholic, Jenn will tell you where she shops and what she buys, even if she went a little bit past her budget. I don't know about you, but I appreciate knowing that other people can struggle with staying inside a budget just like I do! So, like always, here are Jenn's link so you can stalk her on all forms of social media get to know her a little better.
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Tuesday, June 17, 2014

It's my BIRTHDAY did you know that?

I DON'T KNOW IF YOU HEARD, BUT TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY. I'm 26 today and I tried to write out a really thoughtful and insightful and nostalgic birthday post but those aren't my forte. My forte is run on sentences and though-vomiting and that's what's happening today so HERE WE GO.
Ugh this was 3 years ago time goes fast I'm old now.
Twenty-six. Hm. That's how old my grandma was when she got married. Oh funny, that's also how old my mom was when she got married. OH FUNNY, that's ALSO how old my sister was when SHE got married! I am not getting married at 26, unless I elope but like, there's no way that's happening. Huh. I'm breaking the tradition. Oops. Sorry, family, I'm breaking tradition.

Twenty-five was a really great year. I loved 25. If you had told me the things that would happen during 25 on my 25th birthday I would not have believed you. I would have been like, "What? I'm going to date Keith again? Hahahaha that's a lie. That's not going to happen." 

At the same time, there is some stuff about 25 that I'm more than happy to leave there. Twenty-five had one of the worst experiences of my life and I never would have thought that would happen, either. Gross. That part of 25, you can't sit with me.

Twenty-six. I love the number six. I love the way it sounds. NOT BECAUSE IT SOUNDS LIKE SEX, YOU PERVERT. Great, now I'm going to get people finding my blog by searching "sounds like sex." Cool. You're older, but apparently you're not wiser. Geez.


I wonder what the most important thing I learned at 25 was? Hm. That's a good question. Well, I learned that going to bed by 10pm helps me to feel well rested. I learned that I suck at cooking quinoa. Like, I never make it right. It's always crunchy. But that's not very important. I guess I'll go with something cliche and say that I learned how important it is to have REALLY good friends. Friends who are there for you no matter what. I learned that I'm extremely lucky in that area of my life.

Twenty-six is going to have some really big changes, I think. MAYBE THIS YEAR I WILL FINALLY GET A CAT.

Really, Juliette? One of the things you're the most excited about for 26 is to get a cat?

YES BECAUSE CATS ARE FLUFFY AND ADORABLE AND THEY POOP IN A LITTER BOX AND THEY PURR.

Yeah but like what about shedding?

I'll get one that doesn't shed.

STOP TALKING TO YOURSELF.

Ahem. Moving on. So, for my birthday I am going to see The Fault in Our Stars. I'm going to cry on my birthday. THIS IS A GREAT PLAN.

I am NOT going to go out like I did last year... and I am NOT going to puke four times at work the day after my birthday.

Ooooooh I'm also going to start out 26 with a new driver's license. I don't get why the guy made me take a new picture. I mean what if I had just mailed in the form they sent me? I wouldn't have had to take a new picture, right? That's annoying. Also I came dangerously close to failing the eye test but I'm super wise now that I'm old and I didn't actually cover my left eye when the guy told me to, so I passed. Phew.

I wonder if the temporary license they gave me will work at a bar?

My answer to everything today will be, "Whatever. It's my birthday... gimme some cake."

Monday, June 16, 2014

Lady Antebellum (this is super long but probably totally worth it)

What I'm really going to post about today is the Lady Antebellum concert I went to on Saturday but first I'd like to share a story with you about how nice my boyfriend is. On Saturday we were sitting on his sofa watching the World Cup and I wasn't wearing makeup and I hadn't brushed or washed my hair because I mean hello, he's already my boyfriend it's not like I have to try and impress him anymore, right? And his golden retriever who has no concept of her actual size jumped up on my lap because she thinks she's a lap dog and Keith goes, "Awwww I'm going to take a picture." So I stuck my head out pretty far to make sure there was no hint of a double chin and he took the picture and showed it to me and I was like "Cool" but he started laughing really hard and I was like "What did I miss?"


And he says, "You look a little bit like a zombie." And I said "HEY! I AM A BEAUTIFUL LADY IN THAT PICTURE OBVIOUSLY. YOU CAN HARDLY EVEN SEE THE GREASE IN MY HAIR AND YOU CAN'T EVEN TELL HOW UNRULY MY EYEBROWS ARE." and he said, "I said just a LITTLE bit. You look like they're just starting to put the zombie makeup on you for an episode of The Walking Dead." And I said "Well that's the last time I hang out with you without wearing makeup." And he said "You're not wearing makeup?" and I was like "....I don't even know what to say to you right now." Then his dog stepped on my uterus and resulted in this picture:


Ok so moving on. I went to a concert on Saturday. I didn't used to like concerts, mostly because I hadn't ever been to one. I mean in 2007 I went to the fair and I stood on a bench and peered over a fence at a Rascal Flatts concert but that was pretty much the extent of it. But then in 2012 I saw Tim McGraw/Kenny Chesney and it was AWESOME and I was like, "Maybe I'm changing my mind about concerts." And after Lady A on Saturday I'm like, "Ok yes I've definitely changed my mind." However, since I've only ever been to outdoor concerts I've decided that those are the only kind I like and I have no desire to go to an indoor concert. It seems like it would be stuffy and hot and yuck. And I mean, why would you want to be inside when you could be in an outdoor amphitheater looking at mountains and beauty and smog? Come on now.


I don't really know where to start so I'll just go from before the beginning of the concert. We had to drive almost 2 hours to get to the venue, and after our disaster with the baseball game a couple of months ago we wanted to make sure we had plenty of time to park and get inside... so we got there 3 hours early. THREE. HOURS. EARLY. But it was fine because we had books so we walked past all the people tailgating and found a random table and chairs right next to the entrance and sat there and read for about an hour and a half. And I know like 97% of you are out there like "You guys are freaks why wouldn't you have just found somebody to tailgate with instead of just reading like weirdos?" But you don't understand. I just didn't feel like talking to strangers and I needed to find out what happened in my book to make Penny floor it and drive off of Hummock Pond Road and Demeter is an alcoholic at 17 and like OMG I needed to read the book, ok? Sorry. That sentence made no sense.

They opened the gates at 6pm, an hour before the concert, and we were sitting there like "This is so cool, nobody is getting in line, we're going to be first." I mean there was a "fast pass" line thing and I'm not sure how you got in that line but I'm pretty sure $$$$$$$ but I didn't want to be in that line anyway because I saw three guys in their 50s discussing Jersey Shore. I mean I'm pretty sure they were based on this conversation:

Guy #1: "Sammy just REALLY loves Ronnie. I don't think she'll ever break up with him for real."
Guy #2: "I know man. And Mike just isn't as cool as he used to be."
Guy #1: Oh for real. And that little one? She's annoying as ****.

Like I didn't even think Jersey shore was still a thing but whatever.

So we were all proud of ourselves for being the first ones at the front, but then when we went to get in line we realized that the line started back where we couldn't even see it and it was pretty long. So we just laughed and walked for like five entire minutes to the back of the line but it was moving pretty quickly so we didn't feel like we had made a dire mistake or anything.

I'm trying to decide just how much to tell you guys about the concert. I feel like there are a billion stories but do you really want to read a billion stories about the Lady A concert? I mean this post is already long enough and the concert hasn't even started yet. I'm sorry about that but TOMORROW IS MY BIRTHDAY so I can do what I want.

It seems important to mention that Keith hates country music. He said, "It's funny, because I fit in really well with country people, I just hate the music." Which is like the most true statement ever. But he sat through the whole concert and didn't complain and he even clapped along with me when I said, "If Hilary Scott tells you to clap, YOU CLAP." He did laugh at me but he clapped so I ignored the laughter.

I feel like there has been way too much time without a picture so here's the one of me and Keith before the concert started. If you remember, I was struggling with what to wear. Well, last week I dug around in the bins in my closet where I keep my clothes (I don't have a dresser #adult) and I found a pair of capri pants that I thought I had lost and they FIT so I was liket SWEET. So I went to Target and found a flowy black tank top that had like lacy straps and it was flattering and comfy and affordable so I paired it with the pants and sandals and I looked 0% country but 100% comfortable so that was that.

Also I had curled my hair a LOT before we left but then we drove with the windows down and I didn't even think about it and half the curls fell out but I'm still ok with the end result.

Ok. Let's see. OH David Nail opened for Lady A and he is SO good. I didn't realize that I actually know several of his songs so that made me really happy. I think Keith may have gotten tired of me turning to him and saying "OMG I LOVE THIS SONG!" but he pretended like he didn't care so that was nice.

And I wasn't drunk AT ALL because the alcohol prices were RIDICULOUS. The cheapest beer they had was $11.50 and a frozen margarita was $15. FIFTEEN FREAKING DOLLARS. And it wasn't even huge, it was in a red solo cup. And I would have needed a few of them to have felt anything and I didn't feel like making Keith pay almost $50 for beverages. And it was fun without alcohol so I was happy.

By the time Lady A got on stage it was SO crowded. My feet were touching the people in front of us. I mean, look.


When Lady A started their part of the show everybody stood up and I was surprised there weren't more drunk people. I was worried that everybody around us would be jumping around being obnoxious but nobody was. I mean there was a group of cougars middle aged women next to us and the one sitting the closest to me ignored the laws of personal space and put her BARE FEET dangerously close to my legs and I glared at her but she was wine wasted and didn't even notice and I wanted to explain to her that her toe ring was extremely outdated but I didn't because she seemed like she would have pulled my hair and started a cat fight.

Lady A did a GREAT job of entertaining. I had a BLAST and Keith said he didn't hate it but I could tell he was being sarcastic, but he did a really good job of pretending. One of the guys (Charlie, I think. He's the guy who doesn't play an instrument and only sings) was really annoying to me and just seemed so arrogant and cocky and at one point he told the other guy (Dave, I think) that he would like him to not play the guitar because he wanted to sing the acoustic version of "Hello World." And Keith and I laughed. And THEN Charlie got a hole of one of the cameras that was being used to show what was on the big screens and at first he was filming the audience but then he turned it around and just kept filming his face and I was like, "Wow, this guy thinks very highly of his face and his fauxhawk and I would like to see more of Hilary please." And for like 80% of the concert I thought Hilary and Charlie were married and I felt bad for Dave because he was the third wheel and I felt bad for Hilary because Charlie seems like such a tool, but don't worry because it turns out Hilary is married to the drummer whose name I can't remember but he seems like a Steve.


I sang along to almost every single song because I KNEW THEM ALL because I listen to their CDs on repeat like all the time. And you guys I can't even tell you how amazing it was. They were just SO GREAT.

My favorite part was when they sang "Need You Now" for the encore and Keith had his arm around me and I was hugging him and singing along and remembering all the times I heard that song when we were broken up and I would think about him and be all sad. But like now it was the total opposite and it was a little surreal and I'd be lying if I said I didn't get a little choked up. But that also could have been the hormones, who knows. Anyway, it was a really special moment for me.

Then we left and had to battle the parking lot. There was ONE EXIT for like 6,000+ cars. ONE. We sat in the car for about 40 minutes with the engine off because nobody was moving, and then Keith figured out that a bunch of cars were sneaking around the outside edge and getting out really fast so we did that and we were out in like 10 minutes. So instead of waiting in the parking lot for what I'm sure would have been 3 hours, we were out in 50 minutes.

Traffic faces.
And then we had In N Out.



 And that's all I have to say about the concert. If you actually read this whole thing then you deserve a prize but I don't have a prize for you so please just feel really proud of yourself and know that I appreciate you so much. Like so much that I'll drink a mimosa in your honor.

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Just a Trace

Today I'm introducing you all to Tracey, from Just a Trace. She answered a bunch of my random questions and I love her answers and I want you to read them, so I don't want to waste any more of your time. OH also she's from Canada and has convinced me even more that I definitely need to go there because everybody I (virtually) meet who is from Canada is just SO nice. Oh, and she just got married. And she has a dog named Winston. And I don't want to spoil it but we have the same favorite makeup product.



What was your favorite part of your wedding?

My favourite part had to be dancing with our wedding guests, especially when “Wannabe” by The Spice Girls came on. There’s something about singing along to a 90s British girl band while in a poofy wedding dress with all your girlfriends that is just awesome. Also, please note I enjoyed a pre-wedding mimosa (or two) in your honour the morning of the wedding.

I don't think I've ever danced to a Spice Girls song at a wedding and I'm feeling like I've really missed out on something. If you have a video of this it will need to be posted ASAP. And the pre-wedding mimosa just made my day. For real.

Where did you go on your honeymoon?

We went to Secrets Resort in Montego Bay, Jamaica. It was honestly the perfect honeymoon. Ten days of tanning, drinking and eating, what more could you ask for? We even ventured to the Luminous Lagoon, which is a body of water in Jamaica where the water glows. It’s one of the four places in the world where this happens…don’t ask me how though…it’s science, ok?

Ok, I had to google the Luminous Lagoon because I've never heard of it. If you weren't here telling me it's real I wouldn't believe it. "It's science, ok?" is a great explanation and I don't need any more details.

How did you and Mark (who is now your HUSBAND YAY!) meet?

Mark and I actually met online via the classy dating website Plenty of Fish. I was his first and last online date. Sadly, for me I dated a lot of fish in the online dating sea, but hey, I was left with so many funny stories I started a whole dating series on my blog to document my past dating mishaps.


Well, I for one LOVE dating stories, especially funny ones! I know what I'm doing the rest of the day .... (lurking your blog even more and reading these stories, and YOU GUYS SHOULD TOO.)



How long have you been blogging and how did you get started?

I’ve been blogging since November 2012. I moved from Toronto to Ottawa (about five hours away by car) when Mark (who was my boyfriend of eight months at the time) got a job transfer. It was a bit of a risk on my part - leaving my family, friends and a job I loved. It ended up working out because we got engaged six months later, but at the time I was trying to process a lot of emotions and blogging was a great outlet for that. I've always loved writing, but never really considered blogging. Initially, my posts were about moving and adjusting to a new city. I used the blog as a way to keep my friends and family up-to-date with my life, but as more people starting reading it just took on a life of its own.

I admire you for being able to make that transition. And I'm glad it worked out for you!!

If we went to happy hour, what would you order?

I would definitely order a gin and tonic. That has been my go to drink for the last few months. I find it refreshing and goes down smooth. After partying a lot in university and in my early twenties, I find there isn’t much alcohol left that I can tolerate without relating it to a bad hangover! Gin is something I only recently began drinking so it’s on my safe list.

If we went to happy hour I would try your gin and tonic because I've never had one and I feel like maybe it's time to branch out a little? Also I'm going to need to hear some of these partying stories.

If you could trade lives with anybody for a day, who would you choose?

Instinctively, I want to say Eva Mendes just so I can be all in Ryan Gosling’s grill for one day. Even though I feel like there isn’t much going on in that woman’s brain, I would suffer just to be with Ryan.

Is it just me or does your husband have a little bit of a Ryan Gosling look to him? Mostly in the picture up there at your wedding. I totally see it. YOU ARE WELCOME FOR POINTING THAT OUT IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY NOTICED.

It's a Saturday and you have no commitments. Where can I find you?

Probably IKEA. I got there for a cheap and delicious meal (hello Swedish meatballs!), stay for the affordable and stylish home furnishing and end the experience with a $1 ice cream cone. If that’s not living Saturday up to its fullest I don’t know what is.

Can we go to IKEA together so I can try their Swedish meatballs?

What's your favorite thing to watch on Netflix?

Right now Season 2 of  Orange is the New Black is taking over my Netflix life. I’m also partial to the original 90210. Reliving the 90s is always a good idea.

ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK IS EVERYTHING. I won't spoil anything for you but.... no I just won't spoil it. I've never seen 90210 (original or latest) but I've heard it's really really really great. Your Netflix choices have been approved by me.

You love designer labels... what's your favorite label?

I am a huge designer label junkie. To set the record straight, I typically spend very little on my clothes and shoes in order to save up to splurge on my #1 love – handbags. I think my favourite designer (when it comes to handbags) has to be Louis Vuitton. I just love how their bags are timeless. To me they are collector's items. The same bag that Audrey Hepburn carried in the 1960s is a bag that people still carry today. For fun, girly pieces I also love Kate Spade. That woman can do no wrong in my eyes.

I like your style. Especially the Kate Spade.



One makeup product you just can't live without?

Mascara. I feel like a few coats of mascara can change your whole face. I feel naked without it.

YES. ME TOO. Mascara is the one product that I will ALWAYS wear. I feel I can relate to you a lot.

Crunchy or smooth peanut butter?

Crunchy. 100%. Hands down. CRUNCHY. Always.

You have all the right answers.

You can find more of Tracey here: Blog // Facebook // Twitter // Instagram // Pinterest 


Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Just some TMI confessions

Vodka and Soda
I spent all of yesterday having some digestive issues that don't need to be discussed here. These issues prevented me from eating. I mean, I ate like two slices of banana in the morning and a couple of bites of egg for lunch but that was it. So this morning I was feeling super skinny (duh, I lost like 3 pounds yesterday) so I wore my slacks to work. Slacks that I haven't worn in like 10 pounds. They slipped on easily but now that I'm just sitting here they're like cutting into my stomach and my thighs and stuff and nobody is having a good time. Also I'm avoiding coffee for today so that's just not fun at all. Sorry. That was a lot of info.
Saturday is the Lady Antebellum concert Keith is taking me to. (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) I'm SO excited... but I have NO clue what to wear. I googled "what to wear to a lady antebellum concert" and apparently I should wear a sundress, a giant belt, and cowboy boots. I have exactly zero of those things. So I'm thinking maybe a sundress, a denim jacket, and sandals. Except I just googled what that looks like and I'm less than impressed. LIFE IS HARD.
Last night when Keith and I were on the phone he said something about how he's only looking forward to the concert because he knows it will make me happy (too sweet, vom), and I said, "I happen to know from my extensive stalking of you on Facebook when we were broken up that you went to a Toby Keith concert one time and SANG ALONG with Red Solo Cup. So shut up." He did.
My driver's license expires on Tuesday and I'm not planning on renewing it until Monday because I like living on the edge. Also I don't know how to renew it. I've never done it before. But I'm pretty sure it's a good idea to make an appointment if you do it at the DMV. And I'm pretty sure I don't have to take a test or have them retake my picture. At least I hope not, because I am prepared for neither.
I just had to try and explain to my boss how the Keurig works.
Last night one of my friends came over and I asked her if she wanted to borrow a pair of sweatpants. "The ones you wore last week are still over there on the floor where you left them. A week ago. Because I live alone and don't put my things away."
I have still been doing a great job of not eating bread, but last night I confessed to my friend who came over that, "I have cheated and had some french fries." French fries. Which are made from potatoes. Which are not bread. Which means that as you get older you can actually get dumber.
I AM GOING BACK TO BLONDE. And I'm nervous because what if it doesn't turn out the way I want it to? Then I've spend the past year letting my hair get back to natural for like, NO REASON. And that would mostly just be annoying.