Monday, September 5, 2016

A tale of the rudest family I have ever met

On Sunday, Keith and I had an early anniversary celebration. Our official anniversary is September 26, but we have a few fun things planned throughout the month. Sunday was the first event. We got tickets to see John Williams conduct the LA Philharmonic in an amazing performance of some well known and beloved movie songs at The Hollywood Bowl. The most popular being, of course, Star Wars. The performance was amazing, but unfortunately we were really only able to enjoy about 1/3 of the songs.



The Hollywood Bowl is a beautiful outdoor amphitheater located in Hollywood (obviously). It's within walking distance of downtown, the Hollywood Walk of Fame, the Chinese Grauman Theater, etc. There's a view of the Hollywood sign and when you're there you forget that you're so close to the craziness that is downtown Hollywood.

The best part?

YOU CAN BRING YOUR OWN FOOD/DRINKS IN. I mean, you can bring in a full on picnic and as many bottles of wine as you can carry! Thankfully Keith told me about this before we left so we felt super prepared with our bag of Cheez Its, some brownies, peanut butter pretzels, and a bottle of wine and another bottle of Dr Pepper/whipped cream vodka. We were set.

Within ten minutes of sitting down I successfully knocked over my unopened bottle of Pinot Noir and it rolled under the seats in front of us and shattered. My heart shattered, too. You can see the giant pool of my happiness and some shards of glass at the bottom of this picture:

Do you know what an entire bottle of red wine spilled on the ground smells like? Gross. It smells like gross. Thankfully nobody sat down near us until the evidence had dried, so nobody knew what had happened. I was pretty jealous of all the bottles of wine being opened all around us, but I mean I guess you don't have to have alcohol to have fun...?

Look, here's us. Another story: I figured since we were going to a symphony I should dress up. I spent Saturday night trying on dresses and complaining to Keith that "nothing fits me anymore all my clothes are too small hey is that a brownie and can I have some?" I was texting Lindsay about it and she made some suggestions which made me scoff and reply with something like, "Lindsay, it's a symphony. It's not exactly a shorts and casual button down shirt event." And she was like "ok you psycho."

So on Sunday I literally spent two hours doing my hair and my makeup and then I walked upstairs and found Keith in a t-shirt and shorts. And then I cried.

K: I told you it isn't fancy.
J: But you didn't tell me it's a t-shirt kind of thing.
K: ...but I told you it isn't fancy.
J: But this is DIFFERENT. I feel so stupid.
K: Why?
J: Because I was going to wear a FANCY DRESS.
K: I thought you said you were going to wear jeans?
J: I asked if jeans were okay, I never said I was going to wear jeans.
K: But... you're wearing jeans...?
J: But I wasn't GOING to wear jeans. I can't believe you didn't tell me this isn't a fancy thing!!!

I'm a joy to be around, wouldn't you agree?

Then, we spent a lot of time walking around and I sweated off half my makeup and my curls mostly fell out so then I felt really stupid for spending two hours on everything.

At 7:30 the show started and this is really where the important part of my story starts. Ok so yes, we were at an outdoor concert, but it was a symphony. It was not a sing-a-long and it was not a daycare. It was the kind of concert where you go to be quiet while the music is playing and just generally be a polite and considerate human being. And you also let yourself get moved by the music and feel the feelings and emotions and do all of that QUIETLY AND IN Y OUR HEAD until intermission.


The family behind us had an infant and a child who looked about 7 years old. Do you know who you definitely should not take to a symphony? An infant and a 7 year old boy. During the entire first half of the show the infant was fussing and then straight up crying. AND the dad was eating chips straight out of the bag and not even trying to do it quietly. So we were trying to listen to David Newman conduct the orchestra in songs from The Godfather, Sabrina, Sunset Boulevard, and others, and they were probably really beautiful songs but OH I COULD NOT HEAR THEM OVER THE SOUND OF YOUR BABY SCREAMING AND YOUR BAG OF CHIPS CRINKLING.

During intermission Keith and I whispered to each other that we were going to go crazy if the crying and the eating kept happening, and I was literally praying that God would suddenly give the family behind us a heaping dose of common sense and courtesy because I just wanted to enjoy John Williams for my anniversary, OKAY?

Before I go on, I need to explain something else. The Bowl Store was selling light sabers and since most of the second half of the show would be Star Wars themed, they were selling like hotcakes. The light sabers not only lit up, but they also had sound effects. They made light saber noises, a lot of them. Loudly.

The little boy behind us had a light saber.

His parents had no sense of common courtesy. It was a recipe for disaster.

John Williams came out and started conducting and in between songs he would tell stories about how much he loves Rey and how when he first wrote music for the very first Star Wars movie he really thought Luke and Leia were going to be lovers and other stories, and the little boy behind us was like HAHAHA THIS IS SO COOL LET ME TURN UP THE VOLUME ON MY LIGHT SABER.

He was waving that thing around and turning up the volume of his toy constantly. I turned around many many many times and caught the eye of his parents and tried to silently tell them, "Your kid needs to turn that volume off because he is ruining the show for everybody!" But it didn't work. At. All.

I heard his dad say to him at least three times, "Ha ha ha, I bet you're pissing off everybody around us with that noise ha ha ha."

Have you ever felt your blood actually boil?

I didn't think it could get worst, but then I turned around and saw the boy waving his noisy toy around while his dad was laughing and FILMING HIM. He was not only ignoring his son's bad behavior, he was encouraging it. And then, they both started humming along with the music. LOUDLY.

I thought I was going to explode. This boy was sitting directly behind me and I could not hear the sound of the orchestra over the sound of the toy. I could see other people around us turning around trying to find where the noise was coming from, too, and I know we weren't the only people who were annoyed.

There were hundreds, if not thousands, of light sabers waving in the air, and it really looked incredible. There were scenes from the movies playing on the big screen and I wanted so badly to just be able to enjoy it, but I just couldn't.

I finally got so fed up that I turned around and whispered loudly to the boy and his parents, "That noise is VERY DISTRACTING," and I did not try to be polite about it one bit. And guess what? THE NOISE STOPPED.

Well, the noise from the light saber stopped. The dad seemed to be offended or upset that I had said something, because after that he and his son literally screamed at the beginning and end of every song. Right in our ears. SCREAMED. They hadn't done this the entire show but then suddenly decided it would be a good idea. Coincidence? NO.

At the end, John Williams walked off the stage and then immediately came back for an encore. He announced that they were going to play "Hedwig's Theme," from Harry Potter, and told everyone to put down their light sabers and pick up their wands. I can't explain how awesome that was. This song starts out as a quiet piano piece, and the little boy's mom told him to, "be quiet so everybody can hear the song."

Then, the dad cheered and yelled out, "HARRY POTTER IS THE SHIT!"

I agree. Harry Potter is the shit. But you know what? SOME MOMENTS ARE NOT THE CORRECT MOMENT TO YELL OUT THAT FACT. I thought I was going to lose my mind.

When the song was over the mom said something to the dad and he loudly stated that "Some people probably should have bought better seats."

YOU. ASSHOLE. I didn't say anything else to him, and neither did Keith or anybody else, and thankfully they left right when they show was over. A large part of me wishes I had stopped him and explained a few things to him, though. Thing like,

+ I get that you and your son love Star Wars, but that doesn't give you license to ruin the show for everybody around you.

+ How much money we did or didn't spend on these tickets has nothing to do with how much courtesy and respect the other spectators should show. You and your family are some of the rudest people I have ever had the misfortune to sit so close to.

+ You are doing a disservice to your son by teaching him that it's not only acceptable, but encouraged to be as disruptive and rude as he was. You are an adult and you should know better, and you're going to be in for it when he's older.


+ If your children can't sit still for the length of the concert, maybe you should leave them at home. Have you ever heard of a babysitter? With the amount of money you spent on tickets for your children and that stupid light saber toy you could have paid for a babysitter and bought them a pizza for dinner.

+You successfully ruined our evening. We tried to sit there and enjoy what we could hear over the sound of your screaming and your child's toy, but at a certain point that became impossible. Especially when you decided to sit there like an immature asshat and deliberately scream into our ears.

+ I hope that on your drive home your children screamed the whole way and you got stuck in horrendous traffic and your kid had his light saber turned on high during the whole car ride. I also hope you stepped on 17 Star Wars legos in your bare feet that night.

After the family had left, a lady came up to us and thanked me for saying something to the family. Then, at least 10 other people who were sitting around us started talking about how frustrating it was to have to listen to that the whole show and how they couldn't believe how rude the kid was and how little the parents cared. That made me feel a tiny bit better, but just a tiny bit.

Can you tell I'm still upset? What would you have done in that situation? Have you ever had an experience with a horribly disruptive audience member like this? WHAT WAS WRONG WITH THEM?


  1. That is not okay. It never ceases to amaze me at how rude and inconsiderate people can be. I'm with you. I hope they stepped on a whole army of freakin' legos.

    1. At first we were just shocked that they were so insanely rude and inconsiderate but by the end we were just fed up. UGH.

  2. I had a similar experience at the zoo with Boomer yesterday. Some cheetas were playing with each other and one 'caught' the other and sat on her side. This 40 year old man yells 'OOOOH YEAH!!! CHEETAH PORN!!' Dude. Really? I didn't come to the zoo today to explain to my 10 year old daughter what porn is. I think its really sad that often it is the ADULTS who don't know how to act in public. Kids are going to be kids, but 9 out of 10 times I'm in a situation like the one you described above, it is because an adult is either acting inappropriately or they are not reprimanding the child for acting inappropriately. I love my daughter, but if she gets out of pocket, I'm going to tell her REAL QUICK. SO basically if you ever sit next to us at a concert, this will not happen to you again.

    1. OH MY GOSH. I can't believe that! Some people seriously have no sense of common decency and it makes me so mad!! Next time we go to the concert you can bring Boomer and we'll sit together, that way nobody will be loud and nobody will be talking about porn.

  3. Ugh how frustrating! It blows my mind how inconsiderate some people can be. Good for you for saying something though. That takes a lot of guts!

    1. I usually don't, and I was so nervous! I only wish I had said something earlier.

  4. Oh my gosh, I completely understand your pain! In January, my mom, mother-in-law, and I went to see the Rockettes Christmas Spectacular at Radio City Music Hall in NYC (we're from FL), and two girls were sitting directly in front of us--OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW BETTER--and proceeded to talk, laugh, move around, take photos and videos, make out with each other, and be generally disruptive and distracting for the ENTIRE SHOW! I was fuming. I was so freaking angry. Are people not raised with any common sense any more whatsoever??? I wanted to start kicking the backs of their seats and if they turned around and got sassy be like, "Oh I'm sorry. Is that DISTRACTING?!" Ugh. But I was raised better than that, so I just did my best to ignore them and enjoy the show. A SHOW I'VE BEEN WANTING TO SEE SINCE I WAS A LITTLE GIRL! Shoot me. Can you tell I'm still totally pissed and it's 9 months later!!! I wish I had actually been brave enough to say something to them. At least at intermission. Kudos to you for speaking up.

    1. WHAT. That's horrible! It makes me so angry that some people couldn't care less if they ruin things for other people. I feel like I'll be pissed about this for a while longer so we can commiserate together.

  5. I just can't believe that so many other people were also annoyed and never said a word. I probably would have gotten security, because that is just what I do. I am so sorry your anniversary celebration was ruined by an asshat and his offspring.

    1. Gotta admit, when other people started talking about how they were annoyed I almost screamed WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY ANYTHING ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?

  6. OMG i would've absolutely lost my mind. There is a time and a place, and I'm all for people who want their children to experience things with them ... provided they make said children BEHAVE ...

    1. I firmly believe there are some things that just aren't meant for most young children. I'm all for kids experiencing the arts, but like you said, there's a time and a place, and this was definitely NOT IT.

  7. I can literally feel your frustration pulsing through the screen. I'm non-confrontational but my boyfriend would ABSOLUTELY have given them a piece of his mind. It may have gotten heated. He has no problem whatsoever telling people how it is in public and it's equal parts mortifying and gratifying for me haha!

    Danielle @ afloat on a full sea

    1. I think I almost broke the keyboard because I was typing so angrily...

  8. "Have you ever felt your blood actually boil?" YES. I get so upset in those situations too! I am mortifed that people can be SO oblivious. My husband and I went to a Brian Regan comdey show once and it was AWFUL but only because there was an obnoxious woman sitting behind us. She was laughing like a maniac the entire time, it was so distracting. It was a comdey show so obviously there is going to be laughter but she would laugh when he would drink water, blink, walk etc. She laughed at EVERYTHING - a weird, loud, crazy laugh. We neded up leaving early because we couldn't stand it any longer. Totally ruined our night. Other people left when we did too so we realized it wasn't just us.

    1. We went to a Jay Leno show a few weeks ago with Keith's parents and there was a woman like that there. I'm pretty convinced she was really drunk, at least that's the only reason I could think that would make her act like such a jerk. I'm sorry that happened to you!!

  9. Should have bought better seats?!?! Really?!?! So it was YOUR fault that they ruined your evening because you didn't choose different seats?!??! Ugh. Some people are jerks. I hope karma gets them. In the form of all the things you mentioned.

    1. I mean, I guess it's kind of our fault for not reading the fine print and realize we bought seats in the asshole section, right? I had soooooo many things I wanted to yell at him but I saved them all for this post... you're welcome!

  10. I've been a long time reader but I have never commented. This post is everything! You were not at a Wiggles concert, you were at a symphony and hoping to be able to enjoy a nice evening. I do not understand the rudeness some people think is fine. Everything is not for children, and no we are not all supposed to bow down and think it is cute. You paid for tickets and didn't even get to enjoy the show. I'm so glad you said something, because most of us wouldn't have. At the very least they knew the behavior wasn't appreciate. Some people just do not have any "home training" as I like to call it.

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