Monday, March 7, 2016

My thoughts about the Women Tell All (because I know you care)

Okay first things first: my second niece is being born today! Baby Kate's sister will make her way into the world sometime after 7:30 am PST and you guys, I'm so excited! At some point I'll post a picture of the newest little angel to grade this earth on my Instagram, @jliette #shamelessplug.

But enough about that - let's discuss the hottest topic of this morning: THE WOMEN TELL ALL. Keith and I have really enjoyed watching this season of The Bachelor together, and I wish you could all be here to hear the funny things he says each episode. It takes us about 3 hours to get through an episode because we're pausing and commenting so much. And yes, we are people who PAUSE to comment on shows. I learned fairly early on in our relationship that one of Keith's biggest pet peeves is people who talk during movies/tv shows, so I've worked pretty hard to yell "PAUSE IT!" Before I bestow my witty/sarcastic quips slash pearls of wisdom upon him. 
Bullet points are fun, right?
LACE. I think Lace handled herself pretty well on the WTA. In my opinion, Lace's behavior on The Bachelor was due mostly to copious amounts of alcohol given to her by the producers who saw an opportunity for television gold. It was smart of her to leave the show of her own volition, and it was smart of her to change her hair.
JUBILEE. Jubilee was in "the hot seat" for way too long. I got bored by the end of it. Basically the whole thing with Jubes was "she said/she said" and it got old. And I would appreciate it if someone could explain what was so offensive about her calling herself "full black." WASNT that just ... The truth? What am I missing?
And in case you're wondering, her classy chest tat says "the past is practice." I googled it so you don't have to.
CAILA. Caila has amazing hair but that's the only nice hong I have to say about her. She doesn't come across as sincere to me, not one bit. She reminds me a lot of Britt in that regard. She also reminds me of a girl I knew in college who wanted to be a famous actress and who knew how to work a crowd. I don't buy any of what Caila is selling, and I've seen rumors that she's the next Bachelorette which I believe was her goal in coming on the show in the first place. 
OLIVIA. Poor Olivia just can't win. She said some hurtful things while on the show, but she took responsibility for them and I just feel badly for her. Nothing she said was going to make anybody happy, and I'm really curious about why she went on the WTA. Contractual obligation? That's my first guess. I'm also wondering why she colored her eyebrows in so much. YOU ARE NOTCADA DELEVIGNE.

BEN. Ben is SO BORING TO ME. I also feel like he's fake, and I think he does an awesome job of telling everyone what they want to hear. I'm not a Ben fan at all and I hope he really did find love and decides he wants to stay away from the spotlight because I'm tired of seeing him everywhere. 

Other notable things:

Ben and Chris Harrison had on matching outfits. 

Sheila the chicken was more entertaining than half the women. 

Why did Shushanna get so much screen time?

Does anybody actually know who Jennifer is?

Chris Harrison literally has the easiest job in the world. He gets over $100k per episode and a few weeks ago I counted how many words he spoke: 16.  That's like, $6,250 per WORD! AT LEAST!! Disgusting. 

I don't feel badly for anybody who had a hard time with being on the show and then goes on Bachelor in Paradise (coughLACEcough). At some point you're just asking for it. 

The end thanks for caring love you byeeeeeee 


  1. $100k per episode? You have got to be kidding me!!!
    Even though I can't watch this until tomorrow, I had to read your recap because le duh. Also I love BIP

  2. Does Kate's sister get her own IG account too??

    I completely agree with you about Lace, and I felt kind of bad for her. She dug herself into a hole the very first night she couldn't get out of without continuing to look crazy.

    I was bored with Jubilee, too, but I completely understand why someone would take offense to her calling herself the "real black woman" on the show. She made it a race thing when it didn't have to be. And I mean, what if someone said they were the "real woman" on the show because they had bigger boobs or something? That'd be both offensive and completely ridiculous.

    Olivia has probably been through internet hell the last few weeks, and I'd guess it's worn her down. I like that she owned up to being offensive and apologized. As far as her eyebrows, I think most of them had their makeup done by someone ABC hired, and that person needs to be fired. There were a lot of overly powerful eyebrows there (the blonds all had the exact same shade) and Caila's makeup was ALL WRONG for her face.

  3. After I found out Jade was a gross playboy girl, I lost all respect for her. Also, Im talking about Jade from last season, because I don't watch this show ever.

  4. Lace - I like her hair SO MUCH BETTER THAT COLOR, but Bachelor in Paradise... Really girl?
    Jubilee - I'm so indifferent about her.. I mean I was glad when she left, but maybe she just really doesn't know she's being rude or weird. The All Black comment.. I think Amber and whoever the other girl is just love drama
    Caila - her hair wasn't quite as on point on WTA as it has been and her face looked fuller? No? I hope she's not the next Bachelorette
    Olivia - she did seem really sorry for what she said. The twins just need to back off.

    Oh and there was one girl. I don't even remember her name. She must have left the first night, but she spoke last night and Sean reminded me that I said "she looks to manly to be on this show" oops

  5. I'm so glad I'm not the only one who doesn't like Caila. Was it just me or did she look heavier in the face on WTA than she had when she was on the show? I think the problem with Jubilee calling herself "full black" was that she was implying that she was better than the girls who are half black. Also can we talk about how awful Leah is?

  6. I love it! I really hope that Caila isn't the next bachelorette but I really think she is. I would much rather have JoJo if he choses Lauren. Just sayin! Happy Friday

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