Wednesday, July 12, 2017

I am so dumb. I am really dumb. For real.

Back in May Keith's parents told us: "For your birthdays we'd like to take you to a very fancy magic show."
"OKAY!" We replied enthusiastically.
"It is very fancy," they emphasized.
"Yes we are ready and prepared. It is May. The show is in a month and a half. We are prepared."
"Ok but just so you know, it's REALLY fancy. Men must wear suits. Women must wear dresses. No denim is allowed. IT IS VERY FANCY."
"Lol yes ok parents, I think we, as grown adults who know how to do things, will be able to go to this magic show."
"VERY FANCY magic show. On July 13th."

So, on the night of July 12th, Keith tried on his suits and I tried on my dresses and the end result was basically just this:



But literally really though. My dresses are either too short, too small, or show WAY too much cleavage for a night out with my in-laws or even a night out of my house because WOW it's a lot to deal with.

And Keith had like 4 suits that are almost right but not quite and this is the kind of place where, if you don't match the dress code, you don't get in. And that would really suck.

So, at 9:30 this morning I'm going to race down the hill to Macy's and pray that the perfect dress and shoes are there because THIS IS AN EMERGENCY. I have never felt so stressed in my life. I also feel like I should be lectured by somebody. Like... Antwon Dodson, probably.


I know, Antwon. I deserve every word of the lecture. I don't even deserve it in the autotune version.

So if you think of me, pray for me, because I am very nervous about finding a pretty dress in a dark color that covers my knees and shoulders and most of my arms. And also I need shoes that aren't too tall.

SO THAT'S IT. THAT'S WHY I AM AN IDIOT. AND KEITH IS TOO. But hey, at least I got this blog post out on time.

3 comments:

  1. Good luck! Can't wait to see what you wear!

    ReplyDelete
  2. When I read the title I was hoping Antwon was a part of it.

    ReplyDelete