Monday, November 28, 2016

The 10 most absurd things about Gilmore Girls (the original, NOT the revival)

You might not be aware of what I'm about to tell you. It was hardly in the news and I think only maybe 2 1/2 people actually cared, but.... Gilmore Girls has done a revival! Before we get any further I feel I must inform you all that I have NOT yet seen the season 8 revival. Therefore, any spoilers or anything that could possible misconstrued as a spoiler is not welcome in the comments beneath this post. Go discuss the revival somewhere else. THIS post is for those of  us who have ever wathced Gilmore Girls THE ORIGINAL and have found many, many, flaws.

1. Lorelai and Rory never actually eat anything. They order plates and plates of food, take one measly bite, and then they either leave the place where they're eating or the camera cuts away for 3 seconds and when it comes back you see those two still annoyingly skinny with empty cartons of Chinese food, pizza boxed with crust in them, mounds and mounds of marshmallows, ets. This is usually after they're ordered a cheeseburger, fries, a milkshake, and pie at Luke's. Or, on the rare occasion you actually see them taking a bite, it's the smallest and most minuscule bite of food ever. It's just crazy. If a cheeseburger made by Luke Danes was on my plate I would NOT take one nibble from it like a church mouse and leave it at that.



2. They very obviously carry empty coffee cups around with them all the time. They don't every even TRY to make it look like their coffee cups are full. You don't just casually carry around a hot coffee cup and wave it in the air like they do. No. When you have a full cup of hot coffee YOU PROTECT IT. You take whatever precautions you can so your precious drink doesn't spill. GEEZ! Below is a gif that is the closest I can find to what I mean. I promise, if you just watch one epidode you will realize what I'm talking about in the first 5 minutes.


3. They eat out all the time and always seem to have money. I have eaten out for days, even weeks at a time. Let me just say, IT'S FREAKING EXPENSIVE. The Chinese food they eat easily costs $60, and then they blow their money on sweet treats like it's going out of style. Now, I like to eat out and eat candy more than most people, but I've accepted that I can't do that and live til 30. I feel like Emily and Richard are the only two people who could afford that lifestyle, and lord knows they aren't giving Lorelai money to just give her cavities also.

4. Luke and Lorelai switch what side of the bed they sleep on ALL THE TIME. Speaking as a married woman who sleeps with a man every night, I'm here to tell you that having "your side" of the bed is basically a sacred thing. I have my things on my side of the bed. I know what positions are comfortable on my side of the bed (SLEEPING positions, you perv). I know exactly where to reach for my phone on my side of the bed. You get it, right? This first picture is of Luke and Lorelai about to make out. Lorelai is on the right side of the bed (if you're lying in it). You see it? You're with me?


Then, like 6 hours later, they're like this! Different sides!! I know they must get freaky but do people actually get so freaky that they fall asleep on opposite sides of the bed? Comment below if you do, so I can know. Actually, I take that back. I absolutely do not want to know the answer to this question.


5. We're supposed to believe that Rory tied this corset all on her own. Rory goes out to experience the life and death brigade and while the whole thing was unbelievable, the most absurd thing we're supposed to believe without questioning it is the fact that Rory tied this corset herself. Like, What?? I sold wedding dressed for years and have tied hundreds of corsets just like that. It's impossible to do it yourself! I don't care how many stupid things you're good at Rory, you did not tie that corset yourself.


6. That Rory didn't know exactly what she was doing when she slept with Dean, HER MARRIED EX-BOYFRIEND WHO ACTUALLY WAS AN ASS. Dean was awful. Is awful. We do not like Dean. But Lindsay? She's fine. Nothing against her. Rory knew exactly what she was doing when she seduced Dean. Obviously Dean is to blame as well, but Rory is supposed to be a genius and geniuses should know when they're making a stupid dumb huge decision.

7. That Doose's is the only market in town. I actually live in a town that has one small, family owned grocery store. It is probably 20 times larger than Taylor's because hello, it's the grocery store FOR THE WHOLE TOWN! There' no way Doose's stocks enough stuff that nobody needs an Albertson's or a Vons or an Aldi. Just try amd make that happen in real life.

8. That Lane could bleach her hair, dye it purple, then dye it black again and she still had hair left on her head. That's like, serious trauma to your head. Your head isn't made for that. Your hair is supposed to fall out. You're not supposed to look perfect, then perfect with purple hair, and then perfect again, all in less than 5 hours. No. GO AWAY LANE, GO EAT SOME KIMCHI AND PRAY TO JESUS FOR LYING TO US ALL.




9. That Jess got bit by a swan. Does anybody actually believe this story?

10. That Max proposed to Lorelai with 1,000 daisies and she still abandoned him at the altar. This chick is cruel. Maybe all those years of breakfast poptarts clogged her heart arteries and clogged her ability to feel any remorse or any sense of common decency? Who knows. 

Ugh with this whole show.

Now please be quiet so I may finish season 7. Thank you and goodnight.

23 comments:

  1. I laughed out loud multiple times while reading this, I might be the only female between the ages of 20-30 who is not the least bit interested in Gilmore Girls. I've tried to watch the show a few times but it just seems SO ridiculous that I can't get on board. Except for the being bit by the swan thing, I don't know what the context is in the show but being bit by a swan is totally a thing that can happen, those things are vicious!

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  2. I love this so much! Gilmore Girls 4 Eva.

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  3. As someone who just recently binged on all 7 seasons, I totally agree with you on these. Some I didn't even notice or think about, so I appreciate you bringing them to my attention. The one I absolutely noticed? #1. I don't know how many times I paid more attention to how much they ate of the food in front of them than I did of the dialogue happening. I mean, at least I don't have to feel bad that I can't "eat" like them and not be as skinny as them, right?

    Here's to hoping you don't run into any spoilers. I saw one on Twitter last night and wanted to all, but murder whoever posted it (and I'm not sure who it was because I looked away as soon as I realized what I as reading). People are so rude.

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  4. While agree with everything, especially the eating out, let me say swans and geese bite! That's a story for a La Casita night. Which can we please have one soon?!

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  5. I do love Gilmore Girls, but you are totally right about these! haha And that side of the bed thing?? Seriously, I couldn't even function if I tried to sleep on the other side of the bed. Even when my husband works night shift, I stay on my side. Have the writers/directors never experienced a relationship in which a bed is shared? lol

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  6. I loved this post! During Thanksgiving holidays my daughter and I decided to start watching Gilmore Girls since I know so many people love the show. I was hooked after a couple of episodes! I'm in the middle of season two and I've spent entirely too much time watching already...but I don't intend to stop either! Not until I'm finished. I'm no quitter after all! Enjoy your day! - Crystal

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  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  8. #s 3 and 8 have bothered me for years. YEARS. Thank you for sharing my grief.

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  9. HAHAHAHA.... I love this show, but these are so true. EXCEPT #9. I have been bitten by a swan and so have several friends/family. We have a lot of swans in my city and those suckers are mean.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hi everyone, I'm so excited.
    My ex-boyfriend is back after a breakup,I’m extremely happy that will are living together again.
    My name is Mary Wilkie from England.
    My boyfriend of a 4yr just broke up with me and am 30 weeks pregnant.I have cried my self to sleep most of the nights and don’t seem to concentrate during lectures sometimes I stay awake almost all night thinking about him and start to cry all over again.Because of this I end up not having energy for my next day’s classes ,my attendance has dropped and am always in uni and on time.Generally he is a very nice guy ,he ended it because he said we were arguing a lot and not getting along.He is right we’ve been arguing during the pregnancy a lot .After the break up I kept ringing him and telling him I will change.I am in love with this guy and he is the best guy I have ever been with.I’m still hurt and in disbelief when he said he didn’t have any romantic feelings towards me anymore that hurt me faster than a lethal syringe.He texts me now and then mainly to check up on how am doing with the pregnancy,he is supportive with it but it’s not fair on me, him texting me as I just want to grieve the pain and not have any stress due to the pregnancy.i was really upset and i needed help, so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr Unity can help solve marital problems, restore broken relationships and so on. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a spell for me. 28 hours later, my bf came to me and apologized for the wrongs he did and promise never to do it again. Ever since then, everything has returned back to normal. I and my bf are living together happily again.. All thanks to Dr Unity. If you have any problem contact Dr.Unity now and i guarantee you that he will help you.Email him at: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com ,you can also call him or add him on Whats-app: +2348071622464 ,His website: http://unityspelltemple.yolasite.com .

    ReplyDelete
  11. I believe the swan thing. Swans are scary! They will attack you in a second!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hi everyone, I'm so excited.
    My ex-boyfriend is back after a breakup,I’m extremely happy that will are living together again.
    My name is Mary Wilkie from England.
    My boyfriend of a 4yr just broke up with me and am 30 weeks pregnant.I have cried my self to sleep most of the nights and don’t seem to concentrate during lectures sometimes I stay awake almost all night thinking about him and start to cry all over again.Because of this I end up not having energy for my next day’s classes ,my attendance has dropped and am always in uni and on time.Generally he is a very nice guy ,he ended it because he said we were arguing a lot and not getting along.He is right we’ve been arguing during the pregnancy a lot .After the break up I kept ringing him and telling him I will change.I am in love with this guy and he is the best guy I have ever been with.I’m still hurt and in disbelief when he said he didn’t have any romantic feelings towards me anymore that hurt me faster than a lethal syringe.He texts me now and then mainly to check up on how am doing with the pregnancy,he is supportive with it but it’s not fair on me, him texting me as I just want to grieve the pain and not have any stress due to the pregnancy.i was really upset and i needed help, so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr Unity can help solve marital problems, restore broken relationships and so on. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a spell for me. 28 hours later, my bf came to me and apologized for the wrongs he did and promise never to do it again. Ever since then, everything has returned back to normal. I and my bf are living together happily again.. All thanks to Dr Unity. If you have any problem contact Dr.Unity now and i guarantee you that he will help you.Email him at: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com ,you can also call him or add him on Whats-app: +2348071622464 ,His website: http://unityspelltemple.yolasite.com .

    ReplyDelete
  13. Excited and extremely happy, and thankful that my marriage with my husband has been restored. me and my husband have been married of 22 years together 23. After i found him texting a coworker and questioned him, he said they were just friends but 3 wks later he told me he didnt love me anymore that he was in love with her and that i made him feel bad about himself and she didnt. He left home for 2 wks came home and left 2 wks later. Been gone for 3 1/2 months now. Hes been going to bars, calling women, lying like crazy, drinking like a fish and hasnt spoken to the kids the whole time hes been gone. His whole personality has changed. We believe he is going thru some sort of mid life crisis. Its crazy, he is acting like a person that we dont know anymore. Is it possible to get my marriage back. Because I know that he is going thru some crazy thing right now Im finding it very hard to let go. I still love him. How can I save my marriage and family when my husband is in the middle of a mid life crisis and wont listen to my or anyone else. We are so confused. i try to communicate with him but still hang off the phone on me,I love my family. and my husband and i need to keep my marriage save with him from other women so i have to seek for a love spell to keep our marriage stronger and safe so going online one day on facebook, i saw a prayer point, and a website say if you need your ex back, save your marriage, and fight your husband from divorce. i was so very happy a hopeful again that i can get back with my husband after i saw this website so i read this testimony of this website on how he help save his marriage nd i was excited to give a try so i contacted him and give him all the reason why i need his help, and he assured me that with-6 good hours of his spell that my husband will come back home to me so i believe and trust him coz he was like a father to me also a man of his words so today am happy that my husband who has been away for 3 1/2 months now with his coworker is back home with apology plz you all should help me and thank Dr happy he really save my life and my marriage so email him if you need help also on happylovespell2@gmail.com call +2348133873774 about his service and web site: http://happyspelltemple.webs.com/

    ReplyDelete
  14. lol! but about the coffee thing, i did read that alexis bledel doesnt like coffee so her cup was filled with coke!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hi everyone, I'm so excited.
    My ex-boyfriend is back after a breakup,I’m extremely happy that will are living together again.
    My name is Mary Wilkie from England.
    My boyfriend of a 4yr just broke up with me and am 30 weeks pregnant.I have cried my self to sleep most of the nights and don’t seem to concentrate during lectures sometimes I stay awake almost all night thinking about him and start to cry all over again.Because of this I end up not having energy for my next day’s classes ,my attendance has dropped and am always in uni and on time.Generally he is a very nice guy ,he ended it because he said we were arguing a lot and not getting along.He is right we’ve been arguing during the pregnancy a lot .After the break up I kept ringing him and telling him I will change.I am in love with this guy and he is the best guy I have ever been with.I’m still hurt and in disbelief when he said he didn’t have any romantic feelings towards me anymore that hurt me faster than a lethal syringe.He texts me now and then mainly to check up on how am doing with the pregnancy,he is supportive with it but it’s not fair on me, him texting me as I just want to grieve the pain and not have any stress due to the pregnancy.i was really upset and i needed help, so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr Unity can help solve marital problems, restore broken relationships and so on. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a spell for me. 28 hours later, my bf came to me and apologized for the wrongs he did and promise never to do it again. Ever since then, everything has returned back to normal. I and my bf are living together happily again.. All thanks to Dr Unity. If you have any problem contact Dr.Unity now and i guarantee you that he will help you.Email him at: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com ,you can also call him or add him on Whats-app: +2348071622464 ,His website: http://unityspelltemple.yolasite.com .

    ReplyDelete
  16. My husband is back and am so Excited My life became devastated when my husband sent me packing, after 8 years that we have been together. I was lost and helpless after trying so many ways to make my husband take me back. One day at work, i was absent minded not knowing that my boss was calling me, so he sat and asked me what its was all about i told him and he smiled and said that it was not a problem. I never understand what he meant by it wasn't a problem getting my husband back, he said he used a spell to get his wife back when she left him for another man and now they are together till date and at first i was shocked hearing such thing from my boss. He gave me an email address of the great spell caster who helped him get his wife back, i never believed this would work but i had no choice that to get in contact with the spell caster which i did, and he requested for my information and that of my husband to enable him cast the spell and i sent him the details, but after two days, my mom called me that my husband came pleading that he wants me back, i never believed it because it was just like a dream and i had to rush down to my mothers place and to my greatest surprise, my husband was kneeling before me pleading for forgiveness that he wants me and the kid back home, then i gave Happy a call regarding sudden change of my husband and he made it clear to me that my husband will love me till the end of the world, that he will never leave my sight. Now me and my husband is back together again and has started doing pleasant things he hasn't done before, he makes me happy and do what he is suppose to do as a man without nagging. Please if you need help of any kind, kindly contact Happy for help and you can reach him via email: happylovespell2@gmail.com call +2348133873774 about his service and web site: http://happyspelltemple.webs.com/

    ReplyDelete
  17. Thank you for your miracle Doctor Osemu Okpamen

    This article is dedicated to the Doctor Osemu Okpamen. I have been married with my wife for 5 years and recently she broke up with me and it hurt me deeply when she told me to leave her alone and that she does not love me anymore when i was always faithful and honest to her. I tried all the ways to get her back buying her what she wants like i always did and she still left me heart broken and she even has a new boyfriend which destroyed me even more until a friend of mine from high school directed me to this genuine spell Doctor called Osemu Okpamen. This man changed my life completely. I followed everything he told me to do and my wife came back begging for me back. I was stunned everything happened exactly like he told me. I had faith in everything he told me and everything was true. Also he was there every moment until i got my happiness back and he also provides spells that cures impotence, bareness, diseases such as HIV/AID E.T.C You can contact him via email at { Doctorokpamenspelltemple@yahoo.com } or visit his website http://www.doctorokpamenspells.com. He will help you in anything you need and quick to answer once you contact him or call me for more info +1 (914)-517-3229.

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  18. Hey!I was in a relationship for quite along time almost 7 years, he cheated with a girl almost 11 years younger than him I took him back because I love him so much. He promised me the world never to leave me never to let me go to make me happy and to make it up to me everyday. 7 weeks later he has broke up with me after a few arguments .. he told me he can’t do it that I’ve ruined everything I deserve it all I’ve treated him bad he gave up his job overseas but he only gave it a week afrer he quit. he has left me in bits and is 1 week later out with other girls please help I don’t know what to do he is telling me he will never ever get back its over and he will never give it a go I have begged and I don’t know why I don’t no why he has done this to me I feel so lifeless… one day in my office going through the internet i saw a post of a lady giving testimony on how she got her husband back,i also come across a blog site on how to reunite and get your ex back with a love spell it was really amazing to see this so i copy his email id on http://happyspelltemple.webs.com/ i explain my situation to him and gave him all the details he requested from me, he give me 3 days assurance that my boyfriend will come back after the spell i was so overwal to hear that so i just keep calm and follow up his order coz i really love my boyfriend and want him back. on the third day after the spell as he promise me, my ex call me also show up in my office begging me to forgive him and accept him back with out no delay, i lift him up with a kiss and was so very happy to have him back all my happiness was from Dr happy he is indeed a true man a father and a god sent. plz contact Dr happy on his email id direct at happylovespell2@gmail.com or call his mobile number on +2348133873774 Elisabeth sanchez From England

    ReplyDelete
  19. Hi everyone!!!

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  20. Thank you for your miracle Doctor Osemu Okpamen

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    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
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