Tuesday, August 16, 2016

When does home stop being your home?

When does "home" stop being your home? 

When I was 18 I moved out of my parents' house to go to college, and no matter where I've lived since then, their house is always home. The house looks totally different than it did when I was a kid, but it still smells the same and I still feel a peace and a comfort come over me whenever I can see my first glimpse of the foggy beach town during my visits. I have a lifetime of memories there. I have memories on nearly every street of that town. I feel like I could drive down the streets in my sleep and get to where I need to be with no problems. Almost every corner of that town is significant. It's where I grew up. It's where I became me. And I don't know if it will ever stop being "home."

I've lived on the mountain for nearly two years, and while it's become more familiar than it used to, it doesn't feel like home. I have a husband, a job, pets, and a whole life here, but whenever I talk about going back to Los Osos I say I'm going "home," and I don't even realize I've said it until I've said it. Lately I've been trying to make an effort to simply call it "my parents' house," or "where I grew up," but in my heart, it's home.

How many memories does it take to make a place a home?

Is it a change that just happens without you realizing it, or can you make a conscious effort to change what "home" is?

Is "home" even a place? Or is it just a feeling? A feeling that is familiar and has equal parts good memories and bad memories? Is "home" a feeling you get when you go back to a certain place, or is it a feeling you get when you're with all the people who make you feel that you're home?

When will home start to smell like the mountain air instead of the beach breeze? When will it start to look like the lake instead of the bay? When will it start to feel like 5,000 feet of elevation instead of sea level? How many memories will it take until I pull into my driveway and finally feel like I'm really home?


9 comments:

  1. I love this post!! I still struggle with some of those questions, but now I kind of find myself referring to both KY and CA as home. Like when I'm here I'm always saying KY is home....and then I visit KY I refer to CA as home. I believe more than one place can be home...and truly it's where ever you feel you belong.

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  2. You know if we hung out more the mountain might feel a little bit more like home... I jest, I jest. Home is where the heart is and I would say that you have a lot of your heart in Los Osos with so much of your family being there.

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  3. I don't know that it ever stops. I've been out of my mom's house now for....oh Yikes 12/13 ish years. I still call it home. I still call the now guest room 'my room'. Maybe when I buy a house that is mine, I'll change my mind, but at the rate we're going Boomer will refer to My mom's house (her Mimi) as 'home' all her life too!

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  4. For me it's not really a place. I have moved around a lot so it's just being with my people :)

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  5. I can completely relate. I think about that too since moving out of my moms. My grandparents lived in Los Osos for many years when I was growing up so we spent a lot of time and Summers there. I definitely think home is wherever your loved ones are.

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  6. I have no idea. I live on the other side of the world from my parents house and I still call it home. "I'm going home for the summer!"
    I guess if my parents ever move away from the Ohio house, then maybe it won't feel like home? But as long as I'm in my childhood bedroom, it will feel like home!

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  7. I have the same feelings. I think it's a gradual change... For me, this house still feels kind of like it's Tim's, because he picked it, bought it, and most of the things in it were his before I was around. Slowly, as I've had a say in the furniture, the decor, it feels a little more like my home, too. But I think I won't be 100% there until we move.

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