Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Confessions

Today's post is going to be some general life confessions. But not the humble brag confessions like, "I didn't work out this week and all I ate was crap and I somehow STILL managed to lose five pounds!" No, these are actual kind of embarrassing confessions that I will only tell to my closest friends and the entire internet.

I confess...

+ I fill in my eyebrows almost ever night before I go to sleep. This is equal parts because I genuinely love filling in my brows and what if there's an emergency in the middle of the night and I have to be rushed to the hospital or rush the animals to the vet or there's a fire and I need to be evacuated? God forbid I be evacuated without properly filled in brows.

+ Wednesday morning I posted a picture of a coffee tumbler in front of our trees... And there was never any coffee in the tumbler. I literally pulled a pretty tumbler out of the cupboard, positioned it in front of the trees, and took a picture. I even enhanced the sun flare because I am just that fake.

+ I buy junk food and hide it from my husband.

+ I'm rewatching Parenthood for the third time.

+ I hate how every time I mention that I don't feel great I ALWAYS get asked, "ARE YOU PREGNANT?"

+ I still don't know how to answer when patients at my work ask me why I'm not pregnant or when Keith and I are going to have a baby. Nobody is satisfied with my response of, "we're waiting a while," or, "we want to travel first."

+ I routinely stalk the Facebook pages of people I knew in high school, even if we aren't actually friends on Facebook.

+ The other night I cut my own hair because I'm much to cheap to pay somebody else to cut it for me.

+ I'm a hypochondriac and that fact has only been exacerbated by the fact that I work in a doctor's office.

+ One time I left cheese out of the fridge all night and still ate it the next day.

+ Sometimes at night I lie in bed trying to think of what I should post on Instagram the next day.

+ I feel uncomfortable that this post doesn't have a picture.

+ I am always silently judging your grammar.

That is all.

10 comments:

  1. I also hide my junk food from my husband. A few weeks ago he came home early from work and I had just polished off a family size bag of peanut m&ms on the couch, so to hide the evidence I just sat on the bag. It was successful until I shifted and made a crinkle sound 😬.

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  2. I will always eat cheese when I leave it out overnight; cheese should never be wasted like that. There is NOTHING to be ashamed of girl!

    Danielle @ afloat on a full sea

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  3. But what if your cat licks one eyebrow off while you sleep?

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  4. I'm cracking up. I can identify with so many of these...hiding the junk food? Yes. I buy candy and then hide the wrappers in the bottom of my purse until I can stuff them down into the bottom of the garbage can where he won't see them.

    Stalking high school classmates on Facebook? Yup.
    Trying to think of what to post on Instagram? Yup.
    Silently judging grammar? ALWAYS.

    Hang in there re: the baby question. It'll taper off eventually. My husband and I got that question constantly for the first year or so and then people realized we were seriously NOT interested in popping out 5 kids before our 5th anniversary, so they calmed down. Even my mother-in-law hasn't asked in a while, which is basically a minor miracle.

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  5. YOU DIDN'T HAVE COFFEE IN THE SB TUMBLER?
    I'm pretty sure I'm going to question everything you post now, and just assume it's all a lie.

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  6. I hide my junk food all the time! However I am currently on a health kick and am trying my damndest to stay away from junk food so if everyone could hide the junk food from me that would be great.

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  7. I'm glad I'm not the only one silently judging everyone's grammar all the time. Because I do. ALL. THE. TIME.

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  8. People asking you "when are you having kids" or "why don't you have kids" is by far one of the most appropriate questions ever. I always want to respond with "how's your sex life. How much money do you make? Oh you're uncomfortable? I just thought we were asking inappropriate questions." It drives me INSANE.

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