Friday, April 8, 2016

Deep in the heart of Texas

Y'all. I got to spend a weekend in the South with Faith and Lindsay (and with a guest appearance by Natalie and her most perfect tiny human, Zoey). If you've never been to Texas, you really need to go. And if you go, you need to make sure you go with good friends, stretchy pants, lots and LOTS of space in your duffel bag, and lots of space on your phone for pictures.

Since I didn't get into DFW until almost midnight on Thursday night, the recap of the trip begins on Friday. Although if you want to know, we spent a few hours after I got in enjoying nightcaps, playing with Lindsay's dumpster cats, and being in general disbelief that we were all finally together.

Friday, after Lindsay made us incredible breakfast tacos, we went to the DFW stockyards. While there we observed Texas Longhorns, "raced" through a maze which was featured on season 5 of The Amazing Race, imbibed in Tex-Mex and margaritas, and played tourist outside of Cowboys stadium and the Rangers stadium.
Trying to get a picture with the Texas Longhorns. Total success, obviously.
Faith and Lindsay with the prizes we got for completing the hardest maze OF ALL TIME.
Actual photo of us during torture.
The REAL prize for finishing the maze: margs and Tex Mex!
When bloggers try to eat...

These childrens' rides are highly inappropriate to ride as an adult.
More sportsball!
Friday evening we enjoyed authentic Texas BBQ with our special guest: Zoey. I mean, Natalie and her baby Zoey. We went to Riscky's BBQ and when I ordered the all you can eat ribs, our waitress laughed at me. So I was like, "She doesn't think I'll get my money's worth from the all-you-can-eat ribs?? I'll show her!!!!" ...I ate seven, which really isn't impressive.

What IS impressive is that Natalie braved the Downtown Fort Worth traffic and parking situation in order to hang out with us. AND she did it with a tiny baby in tow! Baby Zo is like, the most perfect human alive (besides my nieces, of course). It was basically blogging heaven, that night.

#MotherMaterial. I was drinking a hard cider. When I ordered it I was kind of embarrassed, because everybody else was drinking beer. Our waitress told me, "Well don't order it if you're ASHAMED of it!" So this is a picture of my shame cider.

After stuffing our faces and bellies with BBQ, Lindsay took us both to a piano bar. I'll admit (I didn't tell this to Lindsay or Faith) I was a little skeptical of a piano bar. I didn't really know much about them but Lindsay really talked it up so we were both like "OKAY."


We shared a fishbowl of alcohol and enjoyed the best few hours E.V.E.R. There was a bachelorette party going on so we got to watch all the party girls getting up on stage and making fools of themselves, we got to sing along to the classics like Journey and Billy Joel, and we got to have the most American night ever.

At one point one of the pianists invited all the military people up on stage and everybody belted out "God Bless the USA" and Faith (who is Canadian) was like, "THIS IS THE MOST AMERICAN THING I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE." And Lindsay was like, "Normally they all bust out their pistols and start shooting the roof!" And Faith was like "REALLY?" And Lindsay was like, "YES. BASICALLY."

We got back super late, after having an awful Uber experience and then finally taking a van taxi home, and pretended to have a nightcap before we all just crashed for the night. We had to keep up our strength so we could continue our shenanigans the next day... shenanigans that started with BREAKFAST.

Mr. Hess was present during breakfast. Shout out to Mr. Lindsay!
Saturday afternoon we drove to Dallas where we did a drive by viewing of the JFK memorial (we did not get out because parking was a pain and we were tired, sorry JFK) and then we drove to Weir's.

Backstory: I was born in Texas and in the 80's my Dad worked at a furniture store called Weir's. He talks about it ALL the time and the entire congregation at my home church knows about "that Texas furniture store," so when I told my dad I was going to Dallas (to visit college friends because #secretblog), he told me to go to Weir's and gave me a list of people to say hello to. Some of the people my dad knew still worked there, and remembered him! It was a really cool experience.

Next Lindsay took us to jewelry/accessory mecca, AKA Sam Moon. IT WAS AMAZING and we all got so much amazing and cool jewelry! I totally get why Lindsay is obsessed with this place.

Next, we became BEST FRIENDS WITH BOB. "Bob" is queso with ground beef, avocado, and sour cream mixed in. BOB IS MY NEW BOYFRIEND. I love him so much I forgot to take a picture of him. But don't worry, I DID manage to photograph more margaritas.

Faith got a picture of Bob, that sneaky minx. Middle left.
Also thank you Faith for taking photographic evidence of the gluttony we enjoyed in Texas.
After that, Lindsay took us for "foot massages." Did you know that in Texas, "foot massage" is code for "full body molestation"? We'll tell you about that some other time. Today is not the time or the place but just know that when we were finished with out massaged, both Faith and I were traumatized. We were also totally relaxed because massages are amazing and THANK YOU LINDSAY.

That evening we decided to try a buffet of Texas food so we drove through and took home:
-Chick Fil A
-Taco Bueno (or was it Taco Casa? I can't remember. We had one of them the night I got in and the other on Saturday night)

Plus, we had our fully stocked bar at Lindsay's house. We were not left wanting for food or drink, no siree. We watched Parks and Rec and had the most fun time ever just being together, talking, and laughing. SEE?

I can't say enough good things about our weekend together. Faith and Lindsay are two of the funniest, most hilarious, and most all around wonderful people I've ever met and I'm so hashtag blessed to know them both! #TripletsForever
AND. We have a video. You are WELCOME.



    Except I think there was room for more butt stuff in the post...

    1. I'm really disappointed in the lack of butt stuff in this post

  2. Um, I'm recreating BOB this weekend. That shits going down. God bless Texas, seriously.

  3. Ok. 1. I'm super jealous about meeting up with blog friends. (And my family doesn't know I have blog friends either.)
    2. Chickfila? You have never had Chickfila???? It's amazing isnt it?


  5. You made me miss Texas food so much! BOB is the best thing ever. <3

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  7. What a fun getaway! I lived in Texas a few years ago and SO miss their tex-mex and Whataburger!

  8. Piano bars are my favorite!!!!!! How had you never been to one?!?!?!?

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