Wednesday, September 2, 2015

It's Wedding Month

It's officially Wedding Month and I'm trying not to freak out all of the time. Lately I've been having a really hard time falling asleep because my mind goes a million miles an hour and just won't shut off. I struggled with this when we first got engaged but thought I had gotten through it. WRONG. This time is my life is so wonderfully strange and it's even stranger to think that I only have 3 1/2 more weeks of "this time" left. Marrying Keith is quite literally a dream (or a hundred dreams) come true. I wanted this so badly for so long but never thought it would actually happen, and now it has. Oh geez, now I'm getting all emotional.

Another reason this time is strange is because getting married is something I've dreamed of for my whole life. Every girl dreams of her wedding. When I was a child getting married seemed so far in the future, and then there was a time when I couldn't see myself getting married and I was okay with that, but now here I am getting married. When something you've wanted for most of your life actually happens it's hard to know what to feel. I have spent so many dozens of hours looking at cute Pinterest-y ideas for being engaged and had so many conversations with friends about my dream wedding, and now it's here, and I have fears.

Am I doing it right? Am I making the engagement time as special and memorable and Pinterest-y as possible? Am I forgetting anything? Will I look back on all of this and have any regrets?

I know, all that matters is that by 4pm on September 26, Keith and I will be married and it won't matter what things went wrong or what things I forgot. In the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter if my chalkboard signs are perfect or if we have enough flowers or if I trip down the aisle (this will probably happen and I'm willing to bet money on it). I know it doesn't matter ... but at the same time it does matter.

I know I'll probably be able to look back at this laugh at the things that went wrong or how many times I cried out of exhaustion and being overwhelmed, but right now? Right now it's hard and it's overwhelming but I'm too overwhelmed to make it less overwhelming. Does that make sense?

It's really weird to be this happy but to also cry almost every day. And I can't even drink my sorrows away because I'm crash dieting to fit into my dress!

On another note, I'm doing my own makeup and possibly my own hair for the wedding and I think I found the winning style.


15 comments:

  1. Okay, lady, with me BREATHE IN, hold count to five, BREATHE OUT! Repeat three times and then say woooooosah! I promise you your day will be perfect and wonderful and you will love it. Something inevitably will not go as planned, it happens to everyone, but you will be a MRS when it's over and that's what matters. Grab a glass of wine [just one] tonight and relax :)!

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  2. That hair though... Can't believe you'll be married in a few weeks! EEEEEEEEEEEEK! <3

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  3. It's so soon! I don't even know what I will do when it's October 1st and I can officially say it's my wedding month! Umm so sorry I don't have any advice, besides make sure you eat that morning, apparently people pass out! Not eating usually isn't a problem for me..

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  4. How do you get that much volume? haha seriously though! I suck at teasing my hair. My sister-in-law is getting married on the same weekend as you, and she's super nervous, too. It's normal. Just try to enjoy every second and not stress! (eaier said than done, I know)

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  5. Wow! This time has gone really fast. I know you've been overwhelmed and all, but based on this post, it sounds like you have the right attitude about things. So many things won't matter in a couple of weeks and you'll just be busy living your happily ever after.

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  6. The higher the hair, the closer to Jesus. And what better day to be close to Jesus than your wedding day? The answer: NONE.

    Girl, you're enjoying this time by getting totally emotional... I mean, STRESSFUL. BUT this is the thing. Stress = caring about something a whole lot. And so, you care. Which is good and means it's all going to turn out perfect because no one remembers anything but how happy you look. Oh and maybe how popping the dance floor is, but that's not your problem. :)

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  7. Gorgeousness! I'm sure it's all very normal to be be feeling crazy emotional-happy, stressed, overwhelmed. Just breath. Maybe even write that on your hand the day of the wedding :) Excited for you!!!

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  8. ONLY 3.5 WEEKS UNTIL YOU MARRY KEITH, WHICH MEANS ONLY 3.5 WEEKS UNTIL I SEE YOUR PRETTY FACE AND I AM SO STINKING EXCITED ABOUT THIS!

    Also, I know it's easier said than done - but just let some of this anxiety and stress GO. It's okay if your chalkboard signs aren't perfect, or if your engagement isn't 'pinterest-y enough'. You're marrying the man of your dreams, and you will live a long, happy, and beautiful life together - and there really isn't anything better than that.

    Please do your hair this way, it's amazing ;)

    LOVE YOU

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  9. your hair is so tall and impressive in that photo it's not even funny! i just wrote a post about all the crap that happened a week leading up to our (maybe don't read it) but we survived and so shall you!!!!

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  10. Um... I need hair teasing lessons. And don't worry, you've got this wedding thing, you can do it!

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  11. I completely completely understand everything you are saying that this is exactly how I felt when I was this close to your wedding. Really, there isn't anything special about being engaged. It's just this awkward time where you want to be married but aren't. Being engaged SUCKS. And just remember what you said, in the end, you'll be married. And ps, m invitation must have gotten lost in the mail ;)

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  13. How To Get Your Lost Husband Back

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