Tuesday, August 25, 2015

My Great Wedding Meltdown


People keep asking me: "So, how are you feeling about your wedding being so soon?" I've been answering with a pretty confident, "Good, I can't wait!" and I was patting myself on the back for being such a calm, cool, and collected bride.

And then last weekend happened.

Things have been coming together really smoothly. My mom has been making all the vases, we got an amazing deal on invitations (and have almost sent them all out), my in-laws-to-be have been making wood cookies for the centerpieces, and the eyelash steroids I've been using have been making my lashes look like they're fake. I keep saying, "Sure, I don't know how everything will come together but I know it will all come together," and sort of shrugging.

BUT NO MORE.

My bridal shower was last Saturday and I started getting nervous about opening gifts in front of everybody. It just felt like way too much pressure. I mean, what  if somebody crocheted me a toilet seat cover with gigantic flowers on it and I had to pretend to like it?? That situation is entirely plausible, too, because it actually happened to my sister 5 years ago.

Then, I realized I had left all the invitations I was going to hand deliver back on our mountain. So I told like, 14 people over the weekend, "Your invitation is in my car! I'll give it to you at church on Sunday!" and then I discovered that I actually didn't even take them with me so it really just looked like I was a huge liar.

AND THEN, the questions began.

Have you called the florist?
Do you need immunizations for your honeymoon?
When are you getting your hair highlighted?
What do you want to write on this sign?
Do you want to use all of these 5 million different little tiny chalkboards?
Did you send out your invitations yet?
Are you going to register for more than 4 plates?
Did you book flight tickets with your maiden name?
Have you called the florist?
What color will you paint your nails?
What shade of lipstick will you wear?
How's your foot fungus doing?

At one point my mom and I were out in her craft room looking at all of the vases and she was asking me questions about frames, vases, and paper flowers and I just broke down.

"I don't want to do it anymore!" I wailed as I sobbed into her collarbone. "It's too much! We should have just eloped!"

And she did what mothers do best and she gave me a safe place to let all of my emotions out. She knew that I still wanted to get married but I was just overwhelmed. She knew the questions were too much. And just knowing that she knew made me feel a hundred times better.

Then we went inside and Keith saw my red and puffy eyes and when he asked if I was okay, I pulled him outside and cried into his shoulder as well. He held me and rubbed my back and said it would all be ok, and after I'd cried for a little bit, he told me I didn't have to do anything else that night.

"Yes, I do!" I practically yelled. "I have to set up a mock table and see how the centerpieces look and I have to make a list and choose the music and pick out all the chalkboard things and write on some of them AND I'M NOT GOING TO FIT INTO MY DRESS!"

He told me he'd help me and then he didn't say anything while I stuffed my face with leftover cucumber and chicken salad sandwiches. By that point, everybody at my parents' house knew I was having a meltdown, and they were all kind of just letting me melt, staying far enough away to not be within range of my misdirected anger but close enough that it didn't look like they were avoiding me.

THEN, we set up the centerpieces on a table so I could see what they looked like.

AND I HATED IT. "The table looks so empty! Why does it look so empty? Why aren't the vases taller? Why are the flowers so short? Why does it look so ugly? My wedding is going to be the worst!!!!!" My sister-in-law and mom were basically my saviors, because they fixed it and now I'm excited again, but for most of Saturday I was kind of a beast.

I did learn something through this though: on my wedding day I don't want anybody to ask me ANYTHING. We're having a family friend do the day of coordinating and I said to her, "Lynne, I'll go insane if people ask me things on our wedding day. Seriously. I don't care how things turn out, I just don't want anybody to ask me anything." Apparently I hate questions.

So basically this post just lets you see how crazy I've become. Keith is so lucky.

IF YOU HAVE ADVICE, PLEASE SHARE IT NOW. The comments have been my favorite thing about these wedding posts. You all have so much wisdom to share and I appreciate it more than you know.

AND FAITH AND LINDSAY ARE GOING TO BE AT MY WEDDING OMG OMGGGG.

9 comments:

  1. I know it seems nuts, but I promise, wedding zen will descend on your wedding day and things will be amazing, even if they're not so amazing all the time. In the mean time, check out A Practical Wedding (http://www.apracticalwedding.com) for all of the advice you'll ever need about wedding planning.

    Also, you are so smart to tell your day-of-coordinator that you don't want people to ask you anything. I told our DOC the same thing and it made life so much better. For my friend's wedding next May, I plan to hand out little cards to EVERYONE with lots of phone numbers on them that say "CALL ANYONE BUT THE BRIDE!"

    Oh, and don't forget to eat breakfast the morning of your wedding. Hangry isn't cute on anyone, even brides. :)

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  2. Yes, please make sure you eat that day! Also, it's totally okay to have a meltdown. I think we've all been there, and it's better to get your emotions out now than the day of the wedding. There also comes a time close to the wedding when you do need to take a break from the wedding--do all the things you enjoy that don't involve wedding planning. Sometimes it really is overwhelming, and the best thing for that is to step away for a few days.

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  3. I'd say you are 100% entitled to at least one massive meltdown during this entire event planning. You have been so calm and collected every time I have seen you. Much better than I would be. Just remember I am here for you with open arms, an open bottle of white wine and DH anytime you need. I will remove the triscuts and replace them with veggies though. Muah.

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  4. I'm still waiting for my meltdown to happen. And I have no doubt that it will. It's almost been TOO easy and fun so far. Suspicious.
    I have 3 wedding day coordinators (all friends who have already been married and are super awesome in general at putting shit together). Do you have a wedding website? Maybe (with your coordinator's permission) you could put her number on it and tell people to call her with any questions on the day of...? Or put notices in the remaining invites that are going out??

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  5. I am SO EXCITED that we get to be there! I can't wait to see you in your wedding dress (which you WILL fit into and you WILL LOOK SO FREAKING BEAUTIFUL)!!

    You are absolutely entitled to your meltdown, and probably about 5 more. BUT, just message me if you need any help!

    LOVE YOU

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  6. I've never gotten married before, but pretty much every friend I've ever had HAS, so I've been involved in the process many times. The funny thing is that everything that seems like a big deal right now is going to be so not a big deal later. I think the smartest thing you did was to tell your friend/coordinator person not to let anyone ask you any questions on the day of. Because you have to know what you can handle and you don't want to have a meltdown on your wedding day.

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  7. Meltdowns are perfectly normal. In fact, I'd be worried if you *didn't* have one (or more than one, whatevs). If you need, call me; I'll tell you lame jokes until you're sufficiently cheered up.

    AND YAY YAY YAY OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE WE'RE REALLY GOING TO GET TO HUG IN PERSON.

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  8. Breathe... All Bride's go through this... Only advice I have is enjoy YOUR day. It will go by fast. Something WILL go wrong.. But don't let it bother you. It happens, all that matters is you and Keith,, <3

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  9. Breathe... All Bride's go through this... Only advice I have is enjoy YOUR day. It will go by fast. Something WILL go wrong.. But don't let it bother you. It happens, all that matters is you and Keith,, <3

    ReplyDelete