Wedding Wednesday: Traditional Registry vs. Honeyfund
I've been enjoying discussing wedding details with friends, family, and the entire internet. I haven't gotten very many shocking or unwelcome opinions, and the ones that I have I've been able to mostly ignore. However, there have been a couple of decisions that have resulted in some debate. One of those things was whether to have Keith and I stand inside the gazebo or outside of it during the ceremony (we're going with outside), if we're going to do a first look, and how we should handle our wedding registry.
Keith and I are currently registered at Bed Bath & Beyond and on Amazon. Going to BB&B and scanning all the silicone and collapsible kitchen gadgets (collapsible funnel! collapsible measuring cup! collapsible dish dryer! collapsible lettuce keeper!) was a lot of fun for me. I've always looked forward to being able to do that. To be honest, I was more excited for that than to go dress shopping. But, in talking about our registry and what sheets, bathmats, and baking pans we should add, we began discussing a honeyfund.
Have you heard of that? It's pretty much exactly what it sounds like: people give you funds for your honeymoon. From what I've read you can create your a honeymoon website and people can go on there and give you money to go toward certain things, like fancy dinners, a sky diving trip, a night in a hotel, and the list goes on and on. Your guests can even print out a certificate to wrap or place inside a card and then they're sort of giving you something tangible for your wedding.
I've heard a lot of differing opinions on honeyfunds vs. traditional registries. The other day someone sent me a link to this article, which is not in favor of honeyfunds. The author, Rachel, says she hates honeyfunds because she wants to give the bride and groom a gift that will stay with them forever. She wants them to use the gift for the next 50 years and think of her when they use it. Rachel argues that when we think back on our romantic dinner we had on night 3 of our honeymoon, we won't be thinking of her.
Rachel is probably right. However, I can't think of anyone who remembers what gift every single person gave them for their wedding. In fact, I can't think of many people who can remember what they gave a bride and groom for their wedding. So why should I make a traditional wedding registry just to appease Rachel? It's not Rachel's day, it's our day, right?
Then there's this article, in which Marianne argues that it's silly and pointless to register for things you don't want or need when instead, you could ask people to contribute to the first trip the two of you will take as husband and wife. She says that for a couple who doesn't need much to build their life together, a honeyfund is very practical. Trips are expensive, especially if you want to go out of the country (like we're planning to do) and be gone for more than a week (which we're also planning to do).
But is a honeyfund tacky? Are you basically just asking your guests to give you cold, hard, cash? Is it greedy? Is it wrong?
I'm conflicted. At first, the idea of a honeyfund seemed really tacky to me and I was just like, "But I want the STUFFS!!!!!"
But now that I've thought about it more, it makes sense. I understand why people would be opposed to a honeyfund, and I also understand why it's a really great idea. But I want to know what you think. Does the idea of a honeyfund turn you off? Do you think wedding registries are basically archaic?
Either way, you're pretty much charging your guests admission to your wedding. (Although I have to say, if someone showed up to our wedding sans gift, I wouldn't be offended at all.) So, since they'll be spending the money anyway, is it really a faux pas to dictate even more specifically what you'd like? Or, are you robbing your guests of the job of purchasing you a gift that you'll be [theoretically, unless it's a pair of ceramic cows or something] using for the next 50 years? How likely am I, twenty years from now, to serve salad with a pair of tongs that Susie gave to me at my wedding? In twenty years will I place salad on a plate and think to myself, "Susie sure was a gem for giving us these salad tongs!!" I mean, really.
I'm pretty sure we're going to end up doing the regular registry and a honeyfund, but I'm really curious now how other people think. Is it just a generational thing? Am I asking too many questions? Should I go to bed now?
Also, in case you were wondering, 59 days. #ReamTeam2k15