Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Things I should have known at a much earlier age

This is the face I make when I learn something NEW.

That Budapest is in Hungary. I literally just learned this a few days ago. If you'd asked me last week I would have said, "I don't know, China?" I also thought Hungary was like, Northwesterly (HAY KANYE AND KIM) of Italy. Geography is hard.

That you shouldn't use a metal fork to stir things in a non stick pan. Growing up we didn't have non stick pans (my mom doesn't believe in them), so I'd use forks to scramble eggs, make taco meat, or whatever. Apparently metal and non stick don't go together. Wanna know who taught me that? Keith. A GUY. A guy who still has mac & and cheese that expired in 2009 in his pantry.
That Lenny Kravitz is Zoe Kravitz's dad. I thought they were husband/wife.
That confectioner's sugar is also called powder sugar. I once searched the grocery store for 20 minutes looking for something with the words "confectioner's sugar" on the label until I finally just googled it and realized I already had some at home.

You know those little lines that are on the rear windows of cars? I just thought it was a coincidence that every.single.car had those. It was just a few months ago when I found out they're for the defroster. Keith had to tell me like three separate times that's what they were before I believed him.

That you should never pour melted candle wax down a kitchen sink. When I was definitely old enough to know better I wanted to make candles so I melted a bunch of wax in a pot and then decided I didn't want to make candles anymore so I poured the wax down the garbage disposal. The 3 minutes later I was perplexed because the garbage disposal wouldn't work. Then my dad had to disconnect the garbage disposal so when he was fixing my mistake he didn't get his hand dispoaled.

Why my pupils are always dilated. For years people have been commented on the perpetually dilated state of my eyeballs but I've never really given it a second thought. And actually I still don't know why they're always dilated. I just know it's not because of drugs. But you see those pupils in that picture up there? That's normal. WHY. HELP. Actually I just googled it and the interwebs told me it means I'm super smart.

That it's actually possible for a bug to crawl into your ear and die inside your head. I literally saw a dead bug get pulled out of somebody's ear last week and I'll never ever be the same.

K that's all for now. And in case you were wondering, in that picture up there I'm in Keith's guest bathroom and there's a good chance that's a sign that says SUBJECT TO FLOODING on it.

18 comments:

  1. Something I should have known: that mac & cheese expires. I mean, I knew real cheese expired. But the boxed kind? Really? Uh oh...

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  2. hahahahaha to this whole post - you made my Tuesday!!

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  3. I hate Geography, I am so rubbish at it. It is laughable! Places,directions and all other things to do with Geography are not my thing. Such a fun post idea.

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  4. There are so many things I just recently learned. And I'm almost FORTY!

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  5. Nope nope nope never wanted to know that about bugs.

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  6. you crack me up. this whole thing is LOL-worthy.

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  7. Wow. I could die about the bug thing....I'm going to ask the Dr. to check my ears.

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  8. But did you know that Buda and Pest used to be two different cities? One side of the river is Buda and the other side of the river is Pest. Pest has the Széchenyi Baths though, so it wins.

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  9. Your hair is perfection in that picture.

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  10. I literally just learned where Budapest was this week. Then last night my Uber driver said he was Hungarian but I was too nervous to say anything about Budapest in case it really wasn't in Hungary and the world was tricking me.

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  11. Your hair looks amazing up there. Nevermind my hair tutorial, I think you need to do one.

    Seriously though, did you use hot rollers? A wand? What?

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  12. Who freakin knew those lines had a purpose? Not me, that's for sure. I mean I figured they probably did something but I never actually cared enough to ask about it.

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  14. The car lines are for defrosting? Whelp, they say you learn something new every day...

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