Last Thursday was one of the scariest days of my life. Or at least one of the scariest days of wedding planning. Most of you have enjoyed reading about how insane I'm going with all of this wedding planning, and you know how much of a royal pain in my honkeytonk to find a venue. You also know that we finally found a venue, and our wedding is now less than 4 months away.
Except that last Thursday, I thought our wedding wasn't going to happen because some people are incompetent think it's funny to ruin my life.
Let's back up: On May 12th I booked our venue. To book the venue you just have to say, "I want the venue on this date," and then it's yours. Then, within ten days you have to pay the deposit fee and you're totally set. I was told by someone whose name I will not share (mostly because I forgot it) that she would call me by May 25th to collect the deposit fee and then we'd be set. I told her, "That sounds great. I'd also like to set up a time to come view the venue on May 29." We're going back up there for Keith's cousin's wedding so the timing to view the venue worked out perfect. Anyway, she said I should call them by May 22 to set up the viewing time.
It sounds easy, right? Yes. Yes, it SOUNDS easy.
Last Thursday, May 21st, the venue called. I was in a work meeting (such important, so professional), and this is (basically) the message I listened to when the meeting was over:
Hi Juliette, this is Riley from the blah blah blah. I'm calling to collect the remaining balance for your event here next Friday, May 29. If you don't pay us we'll have to cancel your event. Your event next Friday, May 29. Please call me and give me money or else you can't have your event on May 29.
At first I only freaked out a little bit. I called Riley back and left a message saying, "Hi Riley, you're super wrong and I need to talk to you." Then I called him again, and got his answering machine. Then I called him again and got his answering machine AGAIN. Then I sat in the parking lot of Stater Bros and felt my body go numb because I'm nothing if not dramatic. I also had to pee a little bit. Then I called him and he FINALLY answered and I said, "RILEY, THANK GOD." And this is is how our conversation went:
Juliette: RILEY, THANK GOD.
Riley: Who is this?
Juliette: It's Juliette, returning your call about permit number blah 8675309 (<----- please tell me you see what I just did there). I'm calling to tell you that your information is like, really wrong. (Nervous laughter)
Riley:[sounding snooty] Oh, really? And just how is it wrong?
Juliette: Because my wedding is on September 26, not May 29. We're reserving the place for September 26. I called last week and spoke to a woman and she wrote it all down and took care of it.
Riley: Oh... interesting.
Juliette: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "INTERESTING."
Riley: Well, what's your last name?
Juliette:[Juliette's last name has been removed because of privacy and safety from inter web stalkers]
Riley: Hmm... and what's your fiancé's last name?
Juliette:[Keith's last name has been removed because of privacy and safety from inter web stalkers]
Riley: Hmmm. Nope, you don't have September 26 reserved.
Juliette: WHO HAS SEPTEMBER 26 RESERVED?
Riley: Unfortunately I cannot give you that information because of privacy.
Juliette: Well, unfortunately for that person they're going to have to switch their date because September 26 is MY date and you have no idea how much hell I've been through finding my date and I AM getting married on September 26 and you WILL be fixing this because that is MY date and you WILL FIX IT DAMMIT.
Riley: Unfortunately you don't have a reservation on September 26.
Juliette: When did this other person reserve that date?
Juliette: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? [trying not to cry and suddenly feeling very hot] Well, I don't know how you're going to do this but you WILL be fixing this and you WILL be calling me back by the end of the day and letting me know where you are with fixing this. If you don't you'll be ruining my wedding. I reserved that date. It's MINE. If you can't fix it I'll be expecting to speak with your supervisor about how you're ruining my wedding because THAT DATE IS MINE.
Then Riley said "ok" and I went into the grocery store to use the bathroom and try to find cheap boneless chicken breasts. Instead of finding chicken breasts I walked out with 10 yogurt cups, string cheese, Diet Coke, wine, and chocolate chips. And then I sobbed all the way home and I'm not kidding you when I say that I thought I was going to pass out on the road.
I didn't pass out. Instead I went home to drown my sorrows in Chardonnay and chocolate chips. Then I tweeted about my problem and texted people complaining about how hard my life was and I stared at the clock for like 4 hours. It was miserable.
THEN the heavens opened and angels sang and Riley called me back and said that the woman I had spoken to originally had gone on maternity leave the day after I spoke with her and he doesn't know what happened but he fixed everything and September 26 could be my wedding date again.
And then I cried, but this time from happiness.
And that's the story of how I was a bridezilla for a moment and almost had to go all Bride Wars on somebody's butt and then in the end it always works out and isn't it a good thing I'm not dramatic?
And now, I have some questions. I've tried googling these things but I don't like the answers I've been getting, plus I trust all you readers way more than OTHER internet strangers. So please help me out with your opinions, either from your own bride experience or something you know from a friend or family member's wedding.
What one thing do you wish you could change about your wedding?
What was the best advice you've either heard or given regarding the wedding day?
What's one thing you always remember from weddings you attend?
Is it ok to wear my engagement ring while I'm washing dishes? What about while I'm showering?
What do you think is currently the most overdone wedding trend? Please be brutally honest, I can probably take it. And if not it's fine because I have wine.