Sometimes I'm so mature that I have to stop, pause, and say to myself, oh em gee, Juliette, you're being too mature and it's weird just calm down for a second and giggle at inappropriate things.
Also balls. Hehehehehe balls.
I decided to give you some examples of times when I've been REALLY extra mature. Specifically when I'm angry. Below is a list of all the really mature things I've done when I'm angry you're welcome.
The silent treatment. I like to think of myself as the queen of the silent treatment (+until I have a couple of glasses of wine in my belly). But sober, I can ignore a person for days upon days upon days. Once, in college, my dad found my secret blog where I talked about boys I liked and I refused to talk to him for like two weeks until he swore he would never ever mention my secret blog to me (not this blog). And guess what? We've never discussed that blog. HA. I win.
Once I farted on my roommate's pillow when she wasn't home. She totally deserved it, I swear.
When I was in middle school my older sister gave me this really sweet card and then one day I was mad at her because she would let me hang out with her and her friends or borrow her clothes or something else that was obviously a huge deal so I ripped the card up right in front of her face. (I felt really really horrible about it immediately afterward and my sister ended up taping the card back together.)
One time Keith and I were in a fight so I said "there's dinner in the microwave" but then I ate what I left for him and if he asked me about it I was going to tell him I threw it down the hill in his back yard because I didn't want him to know I ate 6 salmon quesadillas out of anger.
I'm really good at stomping my feet and slamming things. Lots and lots and lots of stomping and slamming things. Doors, drawers, cupboards... one time I even succeeded in slamming a shower curtain. THAT'S how mature mad I was.
Another time I got mad at my hairbrush because I was trying to put my hair in a slicked back ponytail WITH NO BUMPS but I was failing and it was obviously the brush's fault so I slammed it against the counter and it broke in half.
On more than one occasion when somebody who may or may not have been my employer, I got sick of his attitude and when he asked me for coffee I gave him decaf and when he asked me to refill his water bottle I gave him tap instead of filtered. I totally showed him.
When I was little I was wearing roller blades in the house (not allowed) and my brother locked me out of his room so I kicked the door and put a hoe in it. That hole was there for like 15 years at least.