Monday, February 9, 2015

Weird things that make me feel like an adult

Sometimes I'm in the middle of "adulting," like filling my car up with gas, or buying high fiber bread, or worrying about health insurance, and I start to think, "But wait, wasn't it just yesterday that I wasn't allowed to eat spaghetti without wearing a bib?"

Yeah, in case you were a little curious... I had to wear a bib to eat spaghetti until I was old enough to write my own name... in cursive. Luckily I'm advanced so I was able to write in cursive by the time I was 5. At least that's what I tell myself and I've never checked with my mom to verify the facts.
Anyway, thinking about this made me think about all the things that make me feel like a grown up. Not the "serious" adult things like having a mortgage (don't have that), a car payment (don't have that), or a full-time job (don't have that either), but weird things that most of my friends have made most of my friends be like, ".....really?" you're welcome for this.
And feel free to add to my list so I don't feel as pathetic.
//Having a lot of keys on my key ring. When I was younger my older sister always had what seemed like a billion keys on her key ring and I was like, "When I grow up I wanna have a key ring like THAT." This made me sneak into my dad's office (he worked from home, being a pastor had its perks) and sneaking through this random container of keys and thinking about all the keys I'd want on my own key ring. There was this one that sort of looked like a clover leaf that my friend Fritzi and I decided meant a treasure was buried beneath a patch of clovers. This was not helpful since there were approximately 4,394 patches of clovers in the yard of my parents' church. But anyway, back to my grown up ring of keys: I currently have the following keys on my key ring (you care, right?): 1 to my parents house, 1 to Keith's house, 3 to Keith's parents' house, 3 for work, 1 for the PO box, 1 for my car, 1 for my Grandma's house. ELEVEN KEYS. I'm a baller. Don't mess.

//Booking a hotel room. I mean, I'm 26, I've stayed in my fair share of hotels in my lifetime. But there has only been one time when I've been enough of an adult to actually find the best rate, call the hotel, and book the room for one night. This was when my friend Jennie and I went to a friend's wedding and I accidentally left my favorite sunglasses (THEY WERE JUICY COUTURE AND I GOT THEM FOR A STEAL) in the hotel room and nobody would help me get them back. So it felt adult in that I booked the hotel room and that I learned a lesson about loss.

//Buying hemorrhoid cream. I mean, I only did this because one of the Ariel's at my work swore it would take away undereye circles and I was a total sucker.

//Not killing a spider. Last week I was at work and I saw a spider crawling across the wall and I really wanted to kill it but I had too much work to do and spending even 30 seconds searching for and killing this spider just seemed unnecessary. So now I have a rogue spider hanging out in my office THAT'S COOL. NOT.

//Living in an apartment on my own. I don't know why, but living on my own just seemed REALLY adult to me. And I was totally adult about it... you know with the popsicles and Netflix every night.

//Using the phrase, "When I was your age..." Ok, come on now, you've all used this phrase, right? I mean, I come across so many 10 year olds who have cell phones and I find myself explaining to them that, "When I was your age, the phone was on the same end table every day and it had a CORD and you could ONLY talk in the living room and the internet DID NOT EVEN EXIST in my home." And when I was a nanny I took the girls to Target once and I saw a cassette tape player and they were like, "Oh my gosh WHAT IS THIS? What do you even use it for? How weird!" And I cried a little on the inside.

What about you?
 

14 comments:

  1. When I was little, I used to think that my parent's names (George and Kristy) were wayyyy too grown up for little kids and that my name was wayyyy to kiddie for a grown up. So I had it in my head that once you hit 18 you got to pick your adult name and could forego your kid name. Boy was I wrong. Kid name, party of one....

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  2. I feel old when I'm hanging out with my friends and we're talking about insurance, mortgages, retirement plans, etc., instead of boys and Hollywood gossip.

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  3. I can relate to the key ring thing! My Dad always had a billion keys on his keychain and I loved to play with them and imagine all the keys I'd have when I was a grown up.

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  4. For some reason, putting money into savings makes me feel like an adult. Oh look at all the monies I have saved, NO DON'T YOU TOUCH IT!

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  5. You already know what made me feel like a grownup and that was going to the grocery store and trying to sneakily buy something because someone seeing me buy that thing was SUPER EMBARRASSING.

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  6. Grocery shopping makes me feel like a grown up. Also the fact that I have a husband whom I live with every single day. Don’t get me wrong, that’s SUPER awesome and exciting and I love him, but sometimes it’s like “who’s this guy?”

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  7. I always think, "when I was your age, I had to hit 5 three times just to get an L in a text message..." that's how much more difficult life was. Kids these days have no idea how easy they have it.

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  8. I had this thought last night while watching the GRAMMYs. There was this weird anti-smoking commercial about swiping left and it was so over the top it was ridiculous. I turned to my friend and went "I thought that was dumb. Does this mean I'm an adult?"

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  9. I too had this weird obsession with keys when I was younger and used to "borrow" them from the mass amounts my dad had. By the way, what is with dads and key collecting? I still feel weird booking hotel rooms. Like I am adult enough to choose where i stay, but I am still scared I am not adult enough to actually stay there....

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  10. Juliette- you are a woman after my own heart! I love reading your blog, and can totally commiserate with all your recent "adulting." My keys have gotten so out of control lately, I've contemplated dividing them into 'home keys' and 'work keys.' (Who does that!?) I also like to remind myself of how adult I am as I slide around my apartment in socks, à la Risky Business, because I live alone and have the luxury of not having anyone around to watch me embarrass myself.

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  11. I felt like an adult the day I got a Costco card.

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  12. k real talk, did the hemorrhoid cream work?

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  13. SO true. Hotel rooms? That's a grown up's job.

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