Wednesday, February 18, 2015

No matter what Keith says, I am absolutely NOT high maintenance.

I had a totally different post pretty much finished that I was going to let you guys read today, but then Keith and I had a "disagreement" (less dramatic word than "argument") and I realized I have the perfect way to prove I'm right: I can tell the whole internet my side of the story and get all of you to agree with me and then I can laugh in his face and say HA! I WAS RIGHT. Plus my other post was kind of sad and depressing and this is more for laughs so obviously I chose this one. Our disagreement was because I took this Buzzed quiz and was told I'm "Very low maintenance" and Keith was "more low maintenance" and then we had another disagreement over which one was the most low maintenance. Obviously mine, right? K thanks.

So, because of this disagreement I decided to take to the internet and tell you alllllllll the reasons why I am not high maintenance. I guess I should say I'm really low maintenance but I prefer to say I'm not high maintenance because I'm low maintenance. We're on the same page, right? Right.

HERE'S HOW I AM NOT HIGH MAINTENANCE

1. This is what I look like right now (this sweatshirt might have dried blood on it. I don't know and I don't even care):


Irony: When I asked Keith to take this picture of me I made him do it RIGHTTHISSECOND and I made him stand in a very specific spot so the light was right and I also made him take it from the top down so the angle was flattering. I'm only telling you this in the interest of full disclosure you're welcome. 

2. I only drink cheap wine. Seriously. If it's more than $4/bottle I kind of have a moral dilemma about buying it. (Maybe this makes me stingy instead of low maintenance? Don't care.)

3. It only takes me 8 minutes to put my makeup on.

4. I'll drink my coffee with almost anything in it: cream, skim milk, sweetener... whatever. (But if you don't have anything to put in my coffee prepare to get side-eyed.)

5. I have an iPhone 4S and it's an old piece of garbage that doesn't let me FaceTime or Skype and I don't even complain about it.

6. A few years ago I had to have my hair dyed blonde but now I couldn't care less that my roots have grown out like 7 inches and it looks like trash.

7. I also don't get haircuts anymore. Instead I trim my split ends in the bathroom and it doesn't even bother me that the ends of my hair look like straw.

8. Sometimes I wear my shirts two or three times before I wash them.

9. One time I went to a restaurant and instead of giving me Gorau Glas cheese they gave me Caciocavallo Podolico cheese and I didn't even make the manager fire my server.

10. I'm so low maintenance that the fanciest cheese I know is Roquefort and I had to google "really expensive cheese" to put in that sarcastic number 9.


11. I'm so low maintenance that it doesn't bother me that I have 11 points on here instead of an even 10. 

18 comments:

  1. You're the MOST low maintenance.

    Now go wash your sweatshirt.

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  2. I feel like the older people get, the less high maintenance they are.

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  3. You also don't wash your hair. SO LOW MAINTENANCE.

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  4. Definitely the most low maintenance ;)

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  5. Oh ya I am totally low maintenance too.. except not even a little bit and NEITHER ARE YOU.

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  6. I love you Juels, but I think we're all a little high maintenance and that's totally not a bad thing. But don't worry. If Keith asked me, I would totally deny that I ever said this.

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  7. Definitely the most low maintenance ;)

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  8. Yup, you're definitely the lowest of the low maintenancies. The lowest.

    Very low maintenance trumps More low maintenance. Does he not understand how these quizzes work? He is more low maintenance that not low maintenance, but that doesn't mean he is very low maintenance. How many times can I say maintenance?

    $4 wine? Not fair.

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  9. You’re so low maintenance you let the dog keep being named Nostril, and you let them both sometimes lick you. I’m with Natalie though, go wash the blood off that sweatshirt.

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  10. Obviously you're the most low maintenance. The fact that Keith would disagree just shows how high maintenance he is.

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  11. I think the possible blood on the sweatshirt should've been the ultimate trump card. Does YOUR sweatshirt have a possible unknown maybe blood stain Keith? I think not. I win. <--- that's how it should've gone down and you won most low maintenance throne.

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  12. You are very low maintenance! I suppose I am high maintenance about some things and very low on others! I have no in between!

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  13. You DEFFO are low maintenance!!!

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  14. You couldn't be more low maintenance if you tried. Tell Keith I'm on team juliette on this one

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  15. Hahahaha Not only did I just discover your blog, but this was the first post I read. So go you, it was epic xx hahaha and I hope you won the argument ;) #teamjuliette!

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  16. WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME LAUGH SO HARD? Also, I want to try all those cheeses plus some.

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  17. (Waaaaay behind on blog reading)
    I'd say you are VERY low maintenance. Except, you did complain about your phone. When we try to FaceTime. BUUUUUUT it's completely understandable and doesn't make you high maintenance. It just means you have a POS phone

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