Monday, November 3, 2014

I don't actually know everything

I know I know, when I read that title I get surprised too because I like to think I know everything (which I'm sure isn't annoying at all). But since moving I've discovered lots and lots of things that I realized I never knew and I'm going to share them with you because


1. I realized last week that I don't know how to cook chicken. Sure, I've seen people BBQ it and put it in the oven and I've done that before, but last week when I decided I wanted to make some chicken I realized that I don't know how to turn on the BBQ so clearly I couldn't BBQ it. So then I decided to bake it in the oven with BBQ sauce but I didn't know when the sauce went on or how hot to make the oven or anything. Luckily google saved the day and I made some delicious chicken (BBQ sauce and onions on it, put int in the oven at 350 for 30 minutes and 400 for 10 minutes) but guess what? I must not have cooked it long enough because Keith started feeling sick. But then, miracle of miracles, I gave him some ice cream and s'mores and he felt better. I did not know that dessert could cure a stomachache. I actually thought the opposite.

Since you didn't ask, here's a picture of the dinner. It looks amazing, right? Whatever, at least it's not as bad as Martha Stewart's food pictures.


2. I DID know that the drawer under the oven was for pans and cookie sheets and stuff, but I did NOT know how hot the contents of the drawer would get when the oven was on. I found out just how hot a cookie sheet can get when I reached into the drawer after the oven had been at 350 for 30 minutes and I just about burned my entire right hand off and hopped around the kitchen waving and shaking my hand in the air screaming, "EXPLETIVE EXPLETIVE EXPLETIVE!" (If you're curious, it was the S-word. It's been 6 days and my fingers still look gross but all of them are still intact.

3. I did not know how to restart the router for the computer at Keith's house. This morning the internet was down and I almost died because I couldn't find the router so FINALLY Keith told me where it was but I couldn't fit anything in the little restart hole so I just unplugged something and plugged it back in and it worked. Genius. 


4. I did not know that if pipes freeze it will make water go everywhere. This hasn't happened firsthand but I've been really terrified that the pipes at Keith's parents' house are going to freeze and it's going to be my fault (because I can totally control the weather) and they're going to hate me and I'm going to have to run away. I never said I'm rational. 

5. I did not know what poached eggs looked like or tasted like until last Wednesday when I went to see my good friend Alyssa and her brother cooked us one of the most delicious breakfasts I've ever had. These write things were in a bowl and I was like, "wut r dis?" and the answer was "DELICIOUS."


6. I did not know anything about engagement ring shopping. Alyssa and I went looking for rings for fun (as you do) and I tried on some MUY MUY BEAUTIFUL rings and when Alyssa asked how much one of them was the lady said, "Thirteen," and I was like "THIRTEEN HUNDRED DOLLARS FOR THIS RING HOLY CRAP I DIDN'T KNOW THEY WERE SO CHEAP!" And I said to Alyssa, "Did she mean hundred or thousand?" and Alyssa looked at me like Antwon Dodson...


...and said "uh, THOUSAND," but I stupidly thought she was joking and then later she told me she wasn't and I was like "WHOA HOLY CRAP." And yes I have a picture of the ring but no I'm not showing it to you because my nails look awful in the picture and I am so vain, for real, I am really vain.

7. I did not know that my niece could BEE this adorable.


 Just kidding, I did.

8. I did not know that NaNoWriMo 2014 would be so difficult but I'm having a surprisingly hard time with my novel and my measly 1,100 words is not enough for November 3 so if you don't hear from me for a while it's because I'm trying to write all of the words and be like Lindsay the end goodbye.

17 comments:

  1. I am so, so sorry about your hand; please don’t die. Katelynne is SO adorable. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, it’s really not fair to all the other babies out there. She’s hands down the cutest of them all. I AM SO FREAKING EXCITED FOR YOU AND YOUR BOOK AND NANOWRIMO AND IT’S GOING TO BE INCREDIBLE AND I’M JUST SO HAPPY FOR YOU I CAN’T STOP SHOUTING.

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  2. Those poached eggs look AMAZING. Every time I make them, they come out all we idly shaped (but still taste pretty darn good). Also - go you for writing a novel! I don't think I'd ever have enough focus (or time) to do something so cool!

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  3. I had something similar happen to my hand awhile ago. I had a cookie sheet on top of the oven and didn't think about it getting hot just sitting on top of the oven. So I just picked it up. Well, I ended up dropping the cookie sheet and saying some words haha. It hurt SO MUCH. So I hope your hand gets better soon! I'm doing NaNoWriMo for the first time and it's so stressful. I too didn't have enough words for November 3rd compared to everyone else. Good luck on getting your novel done! :)

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  4. UGH I'm actually so jealous of everyone doing NaNoWriMo because ever year I say "next year..." but then I don't. I'm editing a novel this month and that's supposed to make me feel better but it doesn't. Sad. Good luck! Also, OMG THE BABY BEE! I cannot.

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  5. I've been excessively quoting Gretchen allll day, and everyone keeps not knowing what I'm talking about because they don't give Mean Girls the attention it deserves, so this is perfect. Also, feel better hand! That sounds horrible and yuck, that EXPLETIVE cookie sheet.

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  6. Lol when I went wedding ring shopping with my husband, I almost ran out while she went to get us the total price. I had a moment of fleeting panic that she would come back and say something like, "$100,000.00," and I would have to back out the door while maintaining eye contact.

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  7. Lol are you sure your drawer below the oven isn't a broiler? 😂 no, but seriously, don't feel too bad: I don't know what it is about hot things, I never realize they're hot eithe until my fingers are burned! xox giedre

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  8. but you need to text me a picture of the ring because you just do...

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  9. Ugh, I can't even tell you how much I can relate to a. the cooking of the chicken (shout out to my George foreman that does the work for me), and b. the warmer drawer under the oven. Um, for the longest time I stored my cookie sheets in there. Only to find what it was really used for. Instead of calling my own idiocracy out on blast, I just pretend I wanted to re-organize. The fiancé won't know a thing.

    www.livingbarefootandcrazy.blogspot.com ♥

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  10. This is so funny. I was the same way with chicken (definitely made myself sick) and the router when I moved into my apartment. Good luck with your novel!!

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  11. NANOWRIMO.

    You should write all about your niece... That would make your book SO CUTE AND SQUISHY.

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  12. NaNo is hard. Take it from someone who is doing it for the fourth year in a row and has only reached 50K words once so far. :)

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  13. I am the exact same with not real engagement rings. Also me and my bestie send each other rings we love and that we hate. best endeavors on your writing!

    popcornsami.blogspot.com

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  14. 1) Your niece is so cute! I love that outfit and her expression! 2) The chicken does look very good! I'm making some pork chops right now, but chicken is tomorrow!

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  15. Surprisingly I did not know that the contents of the drawer under the oven got hot.. I have never come across a situation that required me to get into that drawer while the oven was on. But now I know, and now I won't. So, thanks! No. 2: I am doing NaNoWriMo this year too!! I didn't realize that I should have prepped during October for my novel, but I am making some decent headway. Good luck to you!!! P.S. It has been way too long since I have read your blog! So many new things!

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  16. First of all, your niece is the most adorable thing ever!
    Second of all, you've never made chicken?! That's about all we eat! We make chicken about 4 times a week. Half the time we grill it and the other half the time we cook it in a sear pan. I looooooove chicken and we always change up how we season and marinade it!
    Third, rings are insane! My sister went to try them on and I was already engaged so when she was picking rings I was like, "Um, I hope you don't love that one because that's upward of $10,000."

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