Monday, October 6, 2014

A weekend conglomeration (we went to Hooters and stuff)


Ugh, you guys. I don't want to complain that it's Monday because that's what everybody does, but not only is it Monday, it's the Monday after a four-day weekend (should there be a hyphen there? Idk) and I didn't get home until like 2am or something and my sister's dog who sleeps in the bedroom with me kept making some weird and disgusting swallowing/smacking noise and it kind of made me want to vomit but getting out of bed was way too much effort so I just resorted to clenching my teeth and snarling, "COCO. SHUT. UP. NOW." and it didn't work and will you hold please while I go get my 7th cup of coffee?
On Wednesday I made my last drive down to the mountains to visit Keith for the weekend. It was really weird thinking that the next time I make that drive will be when I'm moving there. To live. Indefinitely. Like, until we win the lottery and retire at 30. #whoadreambig

Anyway, on Thursday I woke up bright and early at 9am and procrastinated as much as I could until I decided it was time to go scatter my resume throughout the mountains. I did not eat breakfast because all Keith had in his cupboards was bagels and I'm trying hard to #justsaynotobread so I got a McDonald's iced coffee and hit the road and then everything went downhill.

Did you know it's really nerve-wracking to be sitting in a parking lot realizing your clothes are covered in dog hair and you don't have a lint roller and you need to go into random offices and be judged while people tell you, "Oh, we're not hiring now but we'll keep your resume on file"? Well, it is. And that's why I sat in my car for a good 30 minutes and nervous texted people until I got psyched up enough to go into like, 10 places. Then I decided that was enough and I went to the grocery store and spent an absurd amount of money on food and alcohol because I had big plans to play 'Drinking Jeopardy' that night. But first I watched Hulu and let Clementine sit on my lap and she loved it more than I did.


The rules for Drinking Jeopardy are as follows:
Take a sip any time ...
-Alex Trebek speaks in a [bad] accent.
-A contestant speaks in a [bad] accent.
-Alex Trebek makes fun of a contestant for giving the wrong answer.
-Somebody wagers a "true daily double."
-Don't make up any other rules or you'll be drunk in 5 minutes which you would think is great but trust me it's not.

Thursday night Keith told me "SURPRISE WE ARE GOING TO THE ANGELS VS. ROYALS PLAYOFF GAME ON FRIDAY!" and I was SO excited because hello, it's BASEBALL and I love baseball. We decided to make a day out of it so we left around and got sandwiches (#sayyestobread) (bad blogger didn't take a picture don't care it was delicious) and then we were going to go see The Maze Runner but we passed a Target and decided to go there instead. Then we were like, "Ok now what?" So we went to Hooters like the classy individuals we always are.


And before you ask, NO WE DID NOT GET FRIED PICKLES. We got cheese sticks and alcohol and watched baseball and there were a LOT of people there and then we walked over to Angels Stadium but not before we took a photo. While we were at Hooters I thought of some questions that are plaguing me right now:

-How come the Hooters girls were wearing all black instead of white and orange?
-I think I heard somewhere that the company pays for "body enhancements" if you know what I mean. Is this true?
-What happens if the girls eat too many fried pickles and can't fit into their shorts? Do they have like, weekly weigh ins or something? How is that legal?
-Why couldn't I taste the vodka in my vodka/cranberries?

I'm just now noticing that his sunglasses are messed up and it's driving me insane BUT my hair looks really long so I'm leaving it. And then we took another photo in which neither of us looked drunk. At all.


The Royals won but I didn't care because the Dodgers had lost and I was just "Royally" (get it?) pissed off.

The game ended late and it took us like 3 hours to get home because parking garages SUCK when there are thousands of people trying to exit through one lane. Somebody needs to come up with a better system. Also, it does absolutely ZERO good to sit in a long line of cars who are all waiting to exit and just honk and honk and honk. NO GOOD. DO NOT DO THIS.

Saturday there was just football on allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll day so I got myself some sweet headphones...


...and caught up on ShondaLand and Parenthood. We can talk about TV shows another time. I don't have time to discuss those train wrecks at the moment.

And Keith cuddled with Clementine and it was pretty adorable.


While sort of watching football but mostly paying attention to Hulu, I learned:

-a "safety" scores the team 2 points if the tackle the other team in their (the other team's) endzone.
-the "endzone" is not the last 10 yards of the field. It's actually the part where you score the touchdown.
-a "touch back" is different than a touchdown.
-a team can decline a penalty if the play made when a penalty was called works out in their favor.
-football is more fun if you enjoy some ninja mimosas while watching.

And that's basically it. On my drive home last night I splurged and got Starbucks and took a photo to document my full-fat full-sugar beverage, and in my effort to rid myself of red eyes I succeeded in making myself look really creepy but I don't care because I also succeeded in making my teeth look really white.

The end bye.


17 comments:

  1. I heard that Hooters pays for things like enhancements too, and tanning and nails and hair...but IDK if its true! Also why are we not snapchat friends!? This has to change.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies

    1. I want to testify that my wife is back after a Divorce !!!

      Hello to every one out here, am here to share the unexpected miracle that happened to me three days ago, My name is Jeffrey Dowling,i live in Texas,USA.and I`m happily married to a lovely and caring wife,with two kids A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my wife so terrible that she took the case to court for a divorce she said that she never wanted to stay with me again,and that she did not love me anymore So she packed out of my house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get her back,after much begging,but all to no avail and she confirmed it that she has made her decision,and she never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my wife So i explained every thing to her,so she told me that the only way i can get my wife back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for her too So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow her advice. Then she gave me the email address of the spell caster whom she visited.(bravespellcaster@gmail.com}, So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address she gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my wife back the next day what an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my wife who did not call me for the past seven {7}months,gave me a call to inform me that she was coming back So Amazing!! So that was how she came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and she apologized for her mistake,and for the pain she caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster . So, was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster . So, i will advice you out there to kindly visit the same website http://bravespellcaster.yolasite.com,if you are in any condition like this,or you have any problem related to “bringing your ex back. So thanks to Dr Brave for bringing back my wife,and brought great joy to my family once again.{bravespellcaster@gmail.com} , Thanks.

      Delete
  2. You’re basically the prettiest person ever with the best (and LONGEST….you’re welcome) hair. Clementine loves you so much, almost as much as I love her. Is it creepy to love your boyfriend’s dog? Because I do.

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  3. Correct hyphen usage, thumbs up to you. And should I be hearing that #whoadreambig in Juno's voice? Because I did. AND go to Netflix and look for the Hooters episode of Undercover Boss and it should answer many questions.

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  4. First of all, you guys are gorgeous. Both of you. Stop it! Secondly, I'm totally with you - if my hair looks long, I hold onto that picture FOREVER!

    Happy Monday!!!

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  5. You are a BAD fan because you said "and that's basically it." And while I shouldn't care and should be mad, you failed to mention that la Dodgers won the second game! I'm disappointed in your baseball fan-ness. Game 3 tonight!!!!!!!

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  6. YOU DIDN'T GET (DIDDDDDN'T GEEEETTTTT) FRIED PICKLES?!?! I was sort of sad you covered that after I scrolled down past the picture because I was so thrilled that I was going to have such a good question to ask BUT THEN YOU ALREADY ANSWERED IT. I guess that means we're telepathic which is the shit.

    I love Clementines, like the mini oranges, so does that mean that I can love Clementine, like the dog, too?

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  7. you are my kinda people! and PS because of you I have now coined "feeling stabby" to my friends and fiancé and LOL every time we use it. :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hahahah dying because I worked at Hooters as a hostess while I was in high school.

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  9. Clementine is adorable! I've never been to Hooters but now I'm wondering about those questions myself. You and Keith look adorable as always.

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  10. Full fat full sugar is really the only way to go.

    I also just learned more about football in this post than I have my entire life. Kudos.

    ReplyDelete
  11. How is your hair always so perfect?! I'm super jealous of your curls :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. wait you went to Hooters and didn't get wings? Aren't they supposed to have really good wings? Also, Clementine is super cute.

    ReplyDelete
  13. You have the best hair!! Also totally jealous that you have been to so many baseball games this season! I love going to them...they are so fun!

    ReplyDelete
  14. They didn't give you any vodka because they were jealous.

    ReplyDelete

  15. I want to testify that my wife is back after a Divorce !!!

    Hello to every one out here, am here to share the unexpected miracle that happened to me three days ago, My name is Jeffrey Dowling,i live in Texas,USA.and I`m happily married to a lovely and caring wife,with two kids A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my wife so terrible that she took the case to court for a divorce she said that she never wanted to stay with me again,and that she did not love me anymore So she packed out of my house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get her back,after much begging,but all to no avail and she confirmed it that she has made her decision,and she never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my wife So i explained every thing to her,so she told me that the only way i can get my wife back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for her too So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow her advice. Then she gave me the email address of the spell caster whom she visited.(bravespellcaster@gmail.com}, So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address she gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my wife back the next day what an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my wife who did not call me for the past seven {7}months,gave me a call to inform me that she was coming back So Amazing!! So that was how she came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and she apologized for her mistake,and for the pain she caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster . So, was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster . So, i will advice you out there to kindly visit the same website http://bravespellcaster.yolasite.com,if you are in any condition like this,or you have any problem related to “bringing your ex back. So thanks to Dr Brave for bringing back my wife,and brought great joy to my family once again.{bravespellcaster@gmail.com} , Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  16. My name is carol williams ,from U.S.A,in 2014 May precisely marked our 4 years of marriage without a baby or fruit of the worm, my husband wasn't happy with this problem we encounter in the family, he went out and decide to live with his colleague in office,since them my life turn down.after 5 month not seeing my husband a lady l shared apartment with introduce a Man to me DR.Ogboni.I explained my problem to him.he posted some powerful spiritual item to my Home through carrier service.he instructed me on how to use the spiritual item,without paying any Money,to my surprise after 3days he did and my husband came back to me,both of us cry our eye out 2 months later when we moved back together when i told him i was pregnant for him that we are going to have a baby l promise to share my experience because I strongly believe someone may also be in the position. you can contact him via email;(ogbonispelitemple@hotmail.com)

    ReplyDelete