Monday, September 15, 2014

NOT a complete weekend recap, don't worry

Oh hai guys I'm showing up with like 48% brain power today because I had basically the most amazing weekend ever. Actually maybe not ever, it totally rivaled Yosemite but it was incredible nonetheless. If you haven't ever been to San Francisco you should probably put your walking shoes on and get your hiney over there because it's awesome! I'm going to post all the pictures later this week and you don't have to look at them, like I've said before it's mostly just a recap for me because I don't scrapbook and this is a way for me to document my life so in the future when I'm old and crotchety I can look back at 2014 and think of how fun I was when I was younger.

I have no idea where all of this is coming from. I'm mostly just typing and seeing what comes out.

So Thursday night I drove over to the valley and hung out with Keith's parents and sorry Becca, we did not talk about kangaroos at all. We mostly talked about food and San Francisco and Keith and it was great. Then on Friday Keith was there and we watched tv all day and ate a bunch of food and I cuddled with his dogs because guess who has two thumbs and loves dogs now? THIS GIRL. And not really all dogs, mostly just these two hooligans who wouldn't leave me alone ever.

I think taking pictures of myself when I first wake up is one of my favorite things to do. This is what I look like at 3:23am on a Saturday. #iwokeuplikethis

A few hot hair tools and some face painting later and we were out the door. It was 4:07am and Keith was wearing sunglasses. "You look like a douche," I told him. "That's the look I was going for," he replied.


I really wish I was better at taking pictures of cities. SF is BEAUTIFUL and i just don't feel like I knew how to capture it all. This was the best I did. Are you impressed? No? That's fine, but lie to me and tell me you are because I edited the crap out of this to make it look artsy and stuff.

I will never ever have such amazing seats at a baseball game EVER AGAIN. We were 6 rows back from 3rd base and I could basically see the individual hairs on the players' bodies and I probably could have spit on the dugout, which I really wanted to do because we were right next to the Giants dugout and I hate the Giants.

I kept photobombing the people in front of us (and I wasn't even drunk!) so then we all took a picture together and became friends and I never asked any of them what their names were because that's how personable I am. The guy next to me in the hat was from Canadia and this all happened.
Juliette [whispers]: Keith, that guy's from Canadia.
Keith: How do you know?
Juliette: Because he pronounced "out" like "oot."
Keith: So maybe he's just from the Northern United States. Has he called anybody a Hoosier?
Juliette: No, but I swear he's from Canadia. Now he's talking about hockey.
Keith: They have hockey in places that aren't Canada, Juliette.
Juliette: I KNOW but he's totally from Canadia. MAYBE HE KNOWS FAITH!
[I pull out my phone and proceed to text Faith]

J: I'm at a baseball game and the guy next to me is from a city right above Vancouver!
J: I think his name is S____ S_____. [inserts picture] Do you know him?
F: Oh my gosh I do know him.
J: Liar.
F: Not. Canada is not small you twat.

 I'm going to leave you with this other snippet from Friday. Keith and I went to this Mexican place to get some food and see those giants things in that metal bowl thing in the back? Here's what happened:
Keith: Wow, look at those giants tortilla chips!
Juliette: Oh, is that what those are?
Keith: [unable to speak because he's laughing really hard]
Juliette: Why are you laughing? Aren't those tortilla chips?
Keith: [still laughing] I'm pretty sure those are pig skins.
Juliette: No they aren't. Those are tortilla chips.
Keith: I promise they're pig skins.
Juliette: I'm pretty sure you're lying. Let's ask.
Keith: You really want me to ask?
Juliette: Yes, because I think those are tortilla chips and they just break them up into smaller pieces.
Keith: Ok, but you asked for this. [turns to the owner] She thinks those are tortilla chips. Can you tell her what those really are?
The Owner: ....really?
Keith: Yes.
The Owner: Those are pork rinds.
[Everybody in the entire restaurant proceeded to laugh at me while I put my sunglasses on my bright red face and left the restaurant as fast as I could while exclaiming WE'RE NEVER COMING BACK HERE AGAIN.]

The end.


  1. What a fun weekend!!!!!! OMG I would have totally thought they were tortilla chips too!!!

    1. THANK YOU. I'm going to have to tell him that. I mean how was I supposed to know?!

  2. Fort the record. Tortilla chips > pig skins. ALWAYS. Without exception.

    Also I can't stop thinking about how much you probably paid for those french fries. The amount I spend on ballpark food is shameful. SHAMEFUL I SAID.

    1. I'M TELLING HIM YOU SAID THAT. The garlic fries were EIGHT DOLLARS. It was fine because I had mentally prepared myself beforehand but also like WHOA. Gouge city. We didn't have any alcohol though so I feel like I really saved money. ... Right?

  3. I am from Canada and do not say oot, or discuss hockey... I do live in an igloo though and get around by dog sled ;)

    1. Hahahaha. Faith always tells me that she doesn't say oot either!! Blame the tv. It's like how people think everybody from CA is a surfer. Poor portrayals by the media!

  4. If Keith had white glasses on he'd be second level douche. (I just had to scroll up and see how you spelled it because I couldn't figure out how myself.) That is all.

    Oh. And I think anyone that lives near anyone else I know SHOULD KNOW THEM TOO.

  5. I would have thought the same thing. Mexican restaurant obviously needs lots of tortilla chips. It's like, instead of buying the bulk bag from Costco or Sam's Club, they just went with three mega tortilla chips to make lots of baby chips. Seems like perfect logic to me.

  6. But…pork rinds look a lot different from tortilla chips. You obviously aren’t getting your daily dosed of corn-based fried salsa-holders, move to Texas and hang out with me always and you’ll be able to identify a tortilla chip in your sleep based on smell alone from 50 feet. Oh and I love the dogs, more dog pictures please.

  7. LOL I would have thought they were tortilla chips too. I love the pictures. You and Keith look great together. Looks like tons of fun!

  8. BEAUTIFUL PICTURE OF THE CITY, you arteeeeest you (did that make sense? you know what I was trying to say right?) and I totally get the tortilla chip thing. From here, they look like tortilla chips.

  9. Did he say "broomhead" at any point in time? They said that a lot in Degrassi. Sometimes I swear Tim sounds like a Canadian, but he's actually just a Yankee.

  10. hahaha I love this!! First: your pictures from when you wake up are too awesome not to post and I love all your conversations. These posts always make my day!

  11. I promise you two would have to be the funnest people in the world to hang out with!
    Oh and I think your SF photo was magnificent :)

  12. i swear people often confuse wisconsin or minnesota for canada. idiots.
    BUT can we honestly talk about how insanely expensive all the delicious food is at any and all sporting events.
    life is so unfair.

  13. at least you didn't have to do a taste test about tortilla chips vs. pig skin!! those fries you had earlier do look ON POINT though!


    also, I enjoy that you shared our texts about the canadian guy who I obviously totally know.