Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Grandma's seven minute icing

Hey guys, Juliette Crocker here to share the recipe for the most delicious icing you will ever eat in your entire life. If you like sugar and corn syrup you've come to the right place because those two ingredients make up the majority of what you'll be putting in your mouth hole if you make this icing, which you had better do because have I mentioned how amazing it is? My Grandma has been making this icing for as long as I can remember. Then, when she got to be too old to do it, my aunt started doing it, then my older sister. Once my older sister had a baby she became too "busy" to be bothered by such trivial things as making icing, so it fell to me. And now, I'm the MASTER OF THE ICING. And as the Master of the Icing, I need to inform you that this is icing, not frosting. What's the difference? Nothing except the way they sound. I feel like icing sounds more decadent. Like, before Kate Middleton married Prince William she ate frosting, but now all she eats is icing (which is a lie because in reality she probably eats neither). Ok, let's get this party started. I apologize in advance for the horrible pictures. It's really hard to pour and mix and click at the same time. And by hard I mean impossible. You will need a double boiler to make this icing. I got mine for either my birthday or Christmas when I also received potholders and a vegetable steamer. I think that was when I felt the most like an adult. If you don't have a double boiler, the internet has lots of ways to make your own, but I've never tried any of them so do it at your own risk.
What you need:
2 egg whites
1 cup of sugar
1/3 cup of Karo corn syrup (make sure you fill it to the top, maybe a little over the top if you're feeling generous)
2 TBSP water
1/4 tsp cream of tarter
1 tsp vanilla
You can use any kind of cake mix you want, but if you want to do it the right way, you need a box of Betty Crocker French Vanilla cake mix. Get the kind that says "WE ADDED PUDDING!" on the box because I swear it's the best. And use sunflower seed oil instead of vegetable oil. Ever since I've been doing that my family has been commenting on how moist (sorry if you hate that word but it's accurate) the cake is, even if I've left it sitting out all night before I make the icing.
I used three 6" cake pans for the cake over the weekend, and since they all rose perfectly and had rounded tops, I had to slice the tops off of two of them so the cake would stack evenly. And then I had to eat the tops of the cake, obviously.
Another tip: Once you've filled the pans, bang them on the counter to make sure you get all the bubbles out. Just don't go crazy because you don't want to get cake batter everywhere.

Step One: Prepare your ingredients

I get everything ready while the water in the double boiler is heating. Once you've started mixing things you can't stop mixing or you risk burning the icing, so it's best to have it all ready to go at once. DO NOT ADD THE VANILLA YET. I mix the two egg whites, water, and corn syrup in one bowl, and the sugar and cream of tartar in another. You should know that I'm exceptional at separating egg whites from the yolk. There's some cool way to do it with a water bottle but I feel more badass when I do it with just my two hands. Ok, so you have everything ready and it should look like this. Also, take the top off the vanilla extract. You can either add an actual teaspoon or you can just add a few drops straight from the bottle, it's up to you.


Step Two: Set the timer for seven minutes and start mixing.

Your water should be boiling, and once you pour everything in you just start mixing. Mix on at least medium speed. I usually vary between medium and high because I'm indecisive. When you first start it will look like discolored milk, kind of.

Step Three: Keep mixing and call yourself Sir Mixx A Lot if you're feeling corny.


Step Four: Kind of guesstimate. And add the vanilla extract when you have one minute left on the timer.

USUALLY after 7 minutes the icing is done. You'll know it's done when you take the beaters out and it's kind of stiff. Like, it forms peaks that hold their shapes. Once it's done, TAKE THE POT WITH THE ICING IN IT OFF OF THE BURNER. If you don't, it will keep cooking and your icing will be lumpy. Make sure you taste it, but be careful because it's hot. You can start icing your cake right away. I like to put gobs and gobs of icing in between each layer of cake, which caused my cake on Saturday to need to be held in place with wooden skewers and even then it was sliding like the cake in Sleeping Beauty.

You should definitely put colored sprinkles on top to add some color. I usually do pink sprinkles but my aunt likes red more than pink and it was her birthday so I sacrificed my own desire for what I thought she would like.


Things you should know:

This icing is STICKY. Really sticky. So try not to get it everywhere. And if you get it on your clothes, wash it off immediately.

Don't eat too much plain icing or you will get sick. It will be delicious, but you will get sick.

This icing is not healthy in any way, shape, or form. IT IS CORN SYRUP AND REFINED SUGAR.

It's better to cook it too long than not long enough. If you don't cook it long enough, it will melt and you'll have icing everywhere. If you cook it too long it will be a little lumpy but it will still taste great.

This stuff is basically crack.

15 comments:

  1. This sounds so amazing and I am definitely going to make it next time I go all Sally homemaker and bake a cake. :)

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  2. Karo Syrup and and refined sugar are my favorite words. I'm actually going to make this and start putting it in my coffee. YEP. That's a fantastic idea.

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  3. My mouth is watering just reading all this. It's on my to do list to try. I love to bake!

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  4. “WE ADDED PUDDING” – what? Pudding INSIDE of a cake mix? That shiz cray. Also what the heck is sunflower seed oil? You are so California-hippie-crunchy-granola right now. I’m really, really impressed with your Juliette Crockerness. Oh, and one last thing…

    Moist.

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    1. I had never heard of sunflower seed oil until Jacey moved and I opened the cupboard door and THERE IT WAS and it sounded fancy so I used it and I'll never look back. And yeah I think they put pudding mix inside... I don't know, at first I thought it was black magic but it's DELICIOUS black magic and it makes the MOIST MOISTNESS even MOISTIER.

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  5. Uhhhh....YUM! Now, I want cake ;)

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  6. I always want cake and some people don't like butter cream so I'll have to try this frosting as an alternative next time!!

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  7. You are going to make such a great housewife.. as long as Keith only wants to eat cake with ICING. Lolz JK.

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  8. I can't even tell you how amazed I am right now at your baking skillz. Like my mom makes frosting, not icing, so I guess we aren't as royal or something, but regardless sugar and calories are my favorite. Now I want this though, so for my birthday can you make me cupcakes and ship them to me or something?

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  9. YUMMMMM! Looks like such a process though! Maybe I'll need to step away from my tub of stuff from the store and try it.

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  10. would you recommend eating it straight out of the bowl and by yourself in a dark room?
    does it pair well with wine?

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