Yesterday at work I got to hang out with a shitzoodle. I don't know if that's the technical term for a shih tzu/poodle but I think it's adorable and I make the rules or are you not aware of that? For a long time I was very adamant that I REALLY DON'T LIKE DOGS because they slobber and when I was 11 a Jack Russell Terrier chased me down a driveway and attacked the bell bottoms of my jeans (thank God skinny jeans weren't in style in 1999 because if they were I probably wouldn't have any ankles today) and then a Rottweiler attacked the Jack Russell and saved my life. BUT since dating Keith and his two dogs (you don't just date the guy, you date the dogs too) a fondness for furred canines has grown in my heart so yesterday when some people were going to lunch with my boss and they said, "Oh, do you think our dog is okay in the car for an hour?" I said, "YOU CAN'T LEAVE A DOG IN THE CAR I MEAN COME ON PEOPLE, BRING THAT DOG IN HERE AND I'LL WATCH HIM FOR YOU BECAUSE I'M SUCH A GREAT PERSON," and that's why I have a picture of me with a dog who sort of looks like he's being strangled and definitely looks like he wants to GTFO of my lap.
All of that has absolutely nothing to do with anything. Oh so you know how yesterday I posted about pretentious things? Well, add me to the list because the person who went to ParEEEEE for the past few weeks had some Parisian wine from the region of Bordeaux (that still means nothing to me) and all of us in the office got to drink some Chanel wine. CHANEL. As in Coco. I mean, I don't really care about Chanel except that the perfume no. 5 reminds me of my grandma. Oh and then this person brought in a bottle that had been in the cellar for years and years and had sort of started to burst and had leaked and the wine was DEFINITELY bad. But this person poured us all a glass of the nasty rotten wine and yours truly didn't know that the nasty taste meant it was bad wine... I just thought, "Oh, maybe this is what really expensive wine is supposed to taste like," and that's why I'll be sticking to Trader Joe's Pinot Grigio from here until forever.
Ok so what I really want to discuss today is this affliction on my lower leg. I noticed a bug bite the other day, and then on Wednesday night it was a little redder, and then last night it was really red. Like, the redness is spread all the way to the back of my leg, and it's kind of swollen, and it's really hot. Not sexy hot, it's temperature hot. My extensive googling has led me to believe it's MRSA or cellulitis (not to be confused with cellulite, which I KNOW I have and I don't need Google to tell me that), both of which make me really nervous and both of which require a medical professional. So I called my medically professional aunt last night (she's a nurse) and she said I should see a doctor. THEN she texted me and said, "If I could I would take you to the ER right now," which made me a little bit nervous but I just shrugged my shoulders and continued reading my book for 11 seconds and then I went to sleep. So if you want to see some pictures then keep looking and give me your opinion. It's not THAT gross.
Thursday during my hike. The diseased leg is the one on your left. Can you tell that it's a little swollen? I can but I stare at my legs every day so if there's ANY small change I'm like "YOU ARE DIFFERENT WHAT IS WRONG." Also I feel like my body is a mess because my right leg has all of that going on, and my left knee is scabbed and bruised, my left foot is bruised from being hit by a softball, and my left elbow is all scraped up. Super cute.
If you made it to the bottom of this post then I thank you very much and now I'm going to blatantly ask you for more favors. I've been writing some sponsored posts lately and these sponsored posts are worthless unless the links in the posts are clicked. Since I'm not above flat out asking for things, I'm going to ask you to go to this post and this post and click the links you see there. If you don't we can still be friends, like I've said before, but if you do I really appreciate it. I hope you're not annoyed by me asking you to do this. I'm trying to be as up front about it as I can be so you don't feel duped. But like I said, you can just ignore this and not do anything and I'll still like you.
ONE LAST THING. Keith will be at my house tonight and he wants to go on a hike up a rocky mountain (the one I tripped down) in the MIDDLE of the night tonight. I think he might be trying to kill me.