Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Weekend Anecdotes

Probably one of the following anecdotes could have been thought out more and turned into a full blog post, but thinking isn't my specialty lately so you're stuck with little bits and pieces of stories. And also this most beautiful picture of me.

And my niece.


On Friday I had big plans for my night alone, so I went to the store to get supplies: three bottles of $4 champagne. While I was in line, the older gentleman ahead of me looked at what I was buying and said, "Wow! It looks like you're having a party! I wish I was going to your house!" So I went along with it and made up a story about how I had friends in town and we were going to be drinking mimosas and three bottles might not actually be enough for all the shenanigans were were planning, so I might have to come back to the store. He told me not to drink and drive and then left. So I said to the checker, "I just didn't have the heart to tell him that all I'm planning on doing tonight is going home and drinking a mimosa and crocheting while I watch the Rachel McAdams time travel movies." She nodded sympathetically and let me purchase my booze with my expired license.

Even though I'd watched About Time on Thursday I wanted to watch it again on Friday because hello, it's the best movie ever. And I love this song by Ben Folds. So with a little mimosa in me I texted Keith that he needed to please listen to the song because it made me think of him. About 5 minutes later he said, 

"Ok. How do you want me to handle this?"

And then he proceeded to tell me that he hates that song more than any other song he's ever heard, so then I got all mad at him and told him that I guess I had to pick a new song for our first dance (at the wedding that doesn't exist because we are not engaged, don't worry) and then he said that we could play that song if he was drunk. It was lovely. He also hated "All of Me" by John Legend so now I know to never tell him to listen to any songs again because he's a song ruiner.
The Luckiest by Ben Folds on Grooveshark

On Saturday I watched Million Dollar Baby, which I'd never seen before but the internet ruined the ending for me so I wasn't too surprised when SPOILER ALERT Clint Eastwood pulled the plug on Hilary Swank. Then later Keith and I were talking about it and he said that if he was ever paralyzed from the waist down he would appreciate it if I would pull the plug on him, and then we got into an argument about how if he was only paralyzed from the waist down his lungs probably wouldn't have been injured so it's totally a moot point. That led to a discussion about what would be dealbreakers in our relationship and I told him a dealbreaker for me is if he murdered someone I love and he said a dealbreaker for him is if I become a terrorist. We have a really healthy relationship and have very wonderful and heartfelt conversations.

On Saturday night I went and saw Maleficent and enjoyed butter and salt covered movie theater popcorn that I inhaled because it's delicious. And I think Angelina Jolie is amazing and I loved her fake cheekbones and omg her lips are HUGE and I wish my lips were that huge. And I want her lipstick. And her wings. I really want her wings. I didn't care for Elle Fanning because she just seems like an airhead but maybe that was the point? IDK. Also Umbridge was a pixie in that movie and it was weird and I felt confused.

On Sunday I woke up at 730 in the morning with the MOST INTENSE pain on my right side, and I convinced myself it was appendicitis. Usually when I have mysterious ailments I call my aunt, who's a nurse, but it was too early to call her so I just figured I'd wait for like 2 hours and then call her. So I just hung out on my bed writhing in pain and wondering how long it takes to die from appendicitis. but then at like 815 it just STOPPED OUT OF NOWHERE. So probably the most reasonable explanation is that I had a serious case of gas. Super.

So basically I spent all weekend watching movies. And on Sunday I didn't go outside ONE TIME. NOT EVEN ONCE. And I don't regret it, not even a little.

23 comments:

  1. Honesty is the best policy. And I laughed out loud several times during this post! Your weekend sounds as if it was phenomenal.

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  2. There have been multiple times when I definitely thought I was dying from a burst appendix. But, alas, it was just gas.

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  3. I was going to say gas as well. Also. I need to see maleficent asap but now I want to see it even more so I can see fairy umbridge.

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  4. "We have a really healthy relationship and have very wonderful and heartfelt conversations"

    This. This is why I adore you so much.

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  5. This sounds like the best weekend. Especially your entire description of Maleficent because I thought all the same things!

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  6. i never regret not going outside. michael is the opposite and he sometimes calls me a vampire. to each their own.

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  7. I fell asleep trying to listen to that song. I hope we can still be friends.

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  8. Sometimes you just need one of those weekends! Actually, I need one of those weekends like right now! :)

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  9. I will probably be using this song at my wedding. So tell Keith that he clearly has terrible taste in music.

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  10. Umbridge as a fairy really threw me for a loop too...

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  11. Whenever you mention $4 champagne I want to cry big ugly tears over the fact that the cheapest bottle I can buy here in SK is $15 :(

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  12. Sorry girl, I hate that song too. Just his voice. I can't stand his voice. But I do LOVE all of me. And I loved maleficent

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  13. I really need to go see Maleficent. I also refuse to watch Million Dollar Baby so kudos to you!

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  14. HOW DOES HE NOT LIKE THE JOHN LEGEND SONG???
    Can't say I like the Ben Folds song, although I don't hate it.

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  15. I don't know if I like that song.. but I love All of Me so it's fine.

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  16. Probably just gas, but also check out Mittelschmerz. My sister was in the hospital for 8 hours this weekend, and the doctor was convinced that it was her appendix. Turns out she was ovulating. But, I mean... She got morphine, so... Win!

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  17. Sometimes you're just not meant to go outside. Those days happen.

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  18. HOW CAN SOMEONE NOT LOVE BEN FOLDS?!?!? I love him so much. Though honestly, my husband doesn't love him, but I dragged him to a concert last summer anyway and made him deal with it.

    The only time I left my apartment this weekend was on Sunday afternoon to grab more food and wine. And then I rotated between Netflix and library books for 48 hours. You are not alone. I tried to explain that to a coworker today, and while I love my antisocial weekends in, he looked at me with great pity and I didn't understand.

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  19. Your weekend sounds super fun!!! :) Also? Weird boyfriend for not liking those songs!

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  20. I'm LOLing quite hard at your serious case of gas pain!
    Also, I almost used that Ben Folds song as my wedding song but changed my mind at the last minute. It's a GREAT song.

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  21. I love me some Ben Folds. Also, I love your heartfelt conversations with Keith. True Love.

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  22. Now I'm interested in what type of music Keith likes???

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  23. I'm too lazy to read all your comments and see if someone mentioned this already but if not: look up mittlesmertz or however you spell. Two ER trips on almost the exact same day of the month before I figured out it's just my fallopian tubes trying to kill me

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