Wednesday, June 4, 2014

On Living Alone

Once, I had a dream, a dream of living alone. And in this dream I was very very skinny and I would come home from work and put on my perfectly stylish yet extremely comfortable loungewear and pour myself a glass of red wine and curl up on my overstuffed sofa with a cashmere blanket and either read a thought provoking book like, I don't know, War and Peace, or I would watch a TV show that would not rot my brain. And I would make a lovely dinner for myself and it would be healthy and I would go to bed at a very reasonable hour, and then the next morning I would wake up with the sun and go for a workout and I would be smiling the whole time. And birds would be chirping and I wouldn't want to shoot them with a BB gun.
Oh and my teeth were white even though in this fantasy I drank all the red wine and coffee.
But, is life a fantasy? I asked Jordan Belfort and he was a dick about it and said:
Except for one part of that fantasy is like, super true and super exciting: I live alone. And even though it's not exactly how I pictured it, I still love it. Well, most of it.
Like, on Monday night I baked cupcakes and I left all the dishes out overnight and all day Tuesday because I knew they wouldn't be in anybody's way so I didn't feel bad for being a slob.
I can also go to the bathroom without having to close the door. (Oh wait, I did that even before Jacey left.)
If I want to watch all three Lord of the Rings movies in one night, I can do it and I don't have to worry about anybody but Twitter judging me or asking if we can maybe watch ANYTHING else, like maybe Bridesmaids or When Harry Met Sally.
It won't bother anybody if I leave my hair all over the shower walls. Not that I'll do that, because it kind of grosses me out, but it's nice to know that if I did it wouldn't piss anybody off. Also now when I go to clean out the shower drain I know it's all my hair that I'm pulling out and I don't have to worry about there being mystery hair in the drain. Hollaaaaaa.
I can eat ice cream out of the carton without judgment or worry that somebody else has already done that and I'm ingesting his or her germs.
I can go to bed at 9pm and not have to worry about getting woken up by somebody coming home at 930 or 10. I mean I know this doesn't bother like 98% of the population but I am the pickiest sleeper ever and it's annoying. I really should invest in earplugs again.
So like, all those things are super cool and stuff, but did you know that living alone is also kind of hard?
I have to buy all the toilet paper and paper towels myself. Like right now I'm on my last roll of paper towels and I really have to remember to get more today or else I'm going to be pretty sad when I run out. Same with toilet paper. You do NOT want to put yourself in a situation where you desperately need a significant amount of toilet paper but you can't yell downstairs to your roommate to go bring you some from the downstairs bathroom. It just wouldn't be pretty.

I only have one closet now because Jacey decided she actually needs her clothes this summer. SELFISH.
If I decide to drink in the evenings after work I sometimes feel bad, because does it make you an alcoholic if you're drinking alone? I'd like to think no.
The fridge is nearly empty. There's half a bottle of champagne, some grapefruit juice, a Brita pitcher, and some eggs in there. Oh and 3 bell peppers but they might be really old and questionable. Who knows? Oh and there's also a container of rainbow chip frosting.
I have to remember to refill the ice cube trays. I suck at making ice cubes. My ice never comes out in one piece, it's always in stupid broken chunks and it's ugly and I hate it.
Sometimes I can't remember if I turned off my hair straightener or curling iron, and now that I live alone I can't just rely on my roommate to go check for me. I have to physically go and check to see if I almost burned the house down.
I think that's all. If you need me I'll be watching Harry Potter movies and drinking mimosas.

31 comments:

  1. Replies


    1. How To Stop A Divorce And Save Your Marriage?(Dr.Brave).

      Hello to every one out here, am here to share the unexpected miracle that happened to me three days ago, My name is Jeffrey Dowling,i live in TEXAS,USA.and I`m happily married to a lovely and caring wife,with two kids A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my wife so terrible that she took the case to court for a divorce she said that she never wanted to stay with me again,and that she did not love me anymore So she packed out of my house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get her back,after much begging,but all to no avail and she confirmed it that she has made her decision,and she never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my wife So i explained every thing to her,so she told me that the only way i can get my wife back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for her too So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow her advice. Then she gave me the email address of the spell caster whom she visited.(bravespellcaster@gmail.com}, So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address she gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my wife back the next day what an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my wife who did not call me for the past seven {7}months,gave me a call to inform me that she was coming back So Amazing!! So that was how she came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and she apologized for her mistake,and for the pain she caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster . So, was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster . So, i will advice you out there to kindly visit the same website http://bravespellcaster.yolasite.com,if you are in any condition like this,or you have any problem related to "bringing your ex back. So thanks to Dr Brave for bringing back my wife,and brought great joy to my family once again.{bravespellcaster@gmail.com} , Thanks.

      Delete
  2. omg you've literally covered my 'live alone' life, right down to ice cube trays and running out of loo roll! ha #kindredspirit http://thewanderlusthasgotme.blogspot.co.uk/2014/06/best-bars-in-london.html

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  3. This kind of makes me miss living by myself haha.

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  4. I want to be able to afford living by my self... that would be AWESOME♥

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  5. I live alone this week and my favorite part is getting to have cheese and wine for dinner. #blessed

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  6. I wish I would have taken the chance to live alone. All these things sound glorious - especially some LOTR and wine by myself with no judging. Stupid me for going straight from roommates to live in boyfriend. Face palm.

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  7. I've never lived on my own, but I so wish I could. I always catch my self severely over apologizing for drinking too much wine and ice cream around friends. I would love to do it with no judging!

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  8. Story of my life! I just moved to a new apartment (alone) after living with two girls for the past 2 years. My house is hot mess and I have dishes in the sink from Monday, and I drank a bottle of wine straight from the bottle last night. #sorrynotsorry

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  9. omg i just adore you. isn't this the damn truth. I SWEAR to you, this morning as I was leaving for work, I left my hot rollers on my coffee table (I do my hair and makeup in the morning in the living room while watching Chelsea Lately) and I thought about putting them up, but then I was like "........... I live alone. I don 't have too". haha.

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  10. So true- I loved living alone. A mess is not nearly as annoying when it's your mess and only yours to deal with.

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  11. Ive never ever lived alone and sometimes I wish I would have. I think it would be nice from time to time

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  12. This is so true. When I lived alone I was definitely a slob. Although I will say, dating someone who also doesn't care if you leave the dishes in the sink for two days is really the way to go. So I guess not much has changed. You know, except that closing the door to the bathroom thing.

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  13. Sometimes I feel like a bad wife because I LOVE when Nick is gone and I can have the house to myself. For all the reasons you stated and more. (ie. walk around in nothing but underwear without someone getting all handsy) But when he leaves for a week+ training, I'm quickly reminded it isn't all glorious. No one to guilt into getting my birth control when my alarm goes off and I'm already in bed ("Please! I mean, I'M the one who has to put drugs into my body. I could stop and make YOU use the protection.") And taking out the trash. Ugh. And no waiting until they get up to get something to be like "Oh hey, while you're up, can you refill my wine glass?" Nope, you get that shit yourself now! I'm sorry you're living alone. I hope the perks outweigh the crappy parts of it!

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  14. Living with myself was the best thing ever. I miss it so much. Enjoy it while you can!

    <3 Jackie
    http://ournashvillelife.com

    ReplyDelete
  15. I lived alone for a ear and I felt the EXACT same way as you. I liked knowing that "no one moved my car keys" but if I had a rough day at work sometimes I wanted to come home and eat take out, ice cream, and wine with a roommate - because then its just mourning and not being a total pig

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  16. I will say living alone has had its ups and downs. Like I can walk around in my bra and underwear and no one can judge me.

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  17. i have to agree with melzie at ribbons... i kind of really love when my husband is out or not home from work yet because it is so freaking glorious to be alone and leave dishes in sink and sleep on the couch and watch 800 epsiodes of whatever i'm watching on netflix!

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  18. Don't feel bad, I'm pretty sure that making icecubes is a form of art that I don't possess either. It's nice to know that I'm not the only complete mess that's running around out there watching LOTR and 'day' drinking.

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  19. This is why I like being a housewife. I'm all alone during the day so I can do what I want, especially pee with the door open, but I can make someone else go get toilet paper.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies


    1. How To Stop A Divorce And Save Your Marriage?(Dr.Brave).

      Hello to every one out here, am here to share the unexpected miracle that happened to me three days ago, My name is Jeffrey Dowling,i live in TEXAS,USA.and I`m happily married to a lovely and caring wife,with two kids A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my wife so terrible that she took the case to court for a divorce she said that she never wanted to stay with me again,and that she did not love me anymore So she packed out of my house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get her back,after much begging,but all to no avail and she confirmed it that she has made her decision,and she never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my wife So i explained every thing to her,so she told me that the only way i can get my wife back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for her too So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow her advice. Then she gave me the email address of the spell caster whom she visited.(bravespellcaster@gmail.com}, So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address she gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my wife back the next day what an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my wife who did not call me for the past seven {7}months,gave me a call to inform me that she was coming back So Amazing!! So that was how she came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and she apologized for her mistake,and for the pain she caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster . So, was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster . So, i will advice you out there to kindly visit the same website http://bravespellcaster.yolasite.com,if you are in any condition like this,or you have any problem related to "bringing your ex back. So thanks to Dr Brave for bringing back my wife,and brought great joy to my family once again.{bravespellcaster@gmail.com} , Thanks.

      Delete
  20. Harry Potter and mimosas sounds PERFECT. Also, yes to the Lord of the Rings marathon. Do it.

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  21. I CAN NOT WAIT TO NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT MYSTERY HAIR. The fiance is literally balding so I never have to worry about mystery hair again come the end of July. Be jealous of me.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Living alone was one of the most amazing things I've done and I'm so glad I did! I could watch whatever I want, eat cereal for dinner, sleep through the night and not have to nag anyone but myself to clean. :)

    ReplyDelete
  23. You've basically summed up my life for the last several years.

    ReplyDelete
  24. I may have told you this story already, but I'm going to pretend I didn't. I once had a roommate who would bring all kinds of really loud people SHE HAD JUST MET AT THE BAR home with her at like 2AM when I had to be up for work the next morning. One night, I woke up to her on my computer and some strange girl sitting ON the foot of my bed. But I also missed the toilet paper thingy when I lived alone. How about I just come live with you in the land of no a/c BECAUSE YOU DON'T NEED IT.

    ReplyDelete
  25. FUN FACT: marry someone that you can for sure do all those things in front of/will kind of tolerate/might be a slob with you and your world will be perfect.

    ReplyDelete
  26. I would never judge you for watching all three lord of the rings movies. NEVER

    ReplyDelete


  27. How To Stop A Divorce And Save Your Marriage?(Dr.Brave).

    Hello to every one out here, am here to share the unexpected miracle that happened to me three days ago, My name is Jeffrey Dowling,i live in TEXAS,USA.and I`m happily married to a lovely and caring wife,with two kids A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my wife so terrible that she took the case to court for a divorce she said that she never wanted to stay with me again,and that she did not love me anymore So she packed out of my house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get her back,after much begging,but all to no avail and she confirmed it that she has made her decision,and she never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my wife So i explained every thing to her,so she told me that the only way i can get my wife back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for her too So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow her advice. Then she gave me the email address of the spell caster whom she visited.(bravespellcaster@gmail.com}, So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address she gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my wife back the next day what an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my wife who did not call me for the past seven {7}months,gave me a call to inform me that she was coming back So Amazing!! So that was how she came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and she apologized for her mistake,and for the pain she caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster . So, was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster . So, i will advice you out there to kindly visit the same website http://bravespellcaster.yolasite.com,if you are in any condition like this,or you have any problem related to "bringing your ex back. So thanks to Dr Brave for bringing back my wife,and brought great joy to my family once again.{bravespellcaster@gmail.com} , Thanks.

    ReplyDelete

  28. I cannot believe this, my husband is back, i am greatful to see my husband returned with full force, Mr Robinson made this miracle to happen, Happiness has come to me at last, I am very pleased to say things are going well, I truly believe this spell has made difference in my relationship, Mr Robinson is truly gifted, I will recommend to anybody who's looking for a serious spell caster to cast a love spell him or her should contact this email robinsonbuckler@yahoo. com or call Mr Robinson + 19715126745, he wont disappointed you if you ask him to help you. All I want to say is that this spell caster MADE MY DREAMS COME TRUE.

    ReplyDelete
  29. I’m very excited sharing this amazing testimony about a powerful and genuine spell caster that helped me to bring back my husband back from the hands of another woman, My husband and i have been divorced now for two years. He remarried one year ago. Last year him and I were still talking, he was engaged at the time and I didn't know. We were meeting eachother at the park, talking, emailing, and went out to dinner one time. The entire time he told me I was the love of his life and that he didn't love this woman he is now married to. Of course my response to him was that he was also the love of my life as well. I was the one that asked for the divorce, and it was the biggest mistake of my life. This man is the only man I've ever truly loved and I am unable to love another man. When his fiance found out we were talking she broke all communication..Changed his phone number, deleted his email account etc. I've had no way of contacting him and I also have changed my number so he doesn't have anyway of contacting me either. I feel desperate, I feel like a crazy person because I can't stop these racing thoughts that control my life every single day. I just need to know how he feels. The very last time we talked he told me he could never love another woman again, and now he's married. What do I do? I cry myself to sleep every night. I can't listen to music, I'm afraid to go places for fear I'll see him with her. And when I do go to various places I think of him...Everything reminds me of us. I just want him back, he's my everything!! I love him so much!!!, i never wanted to check the internet for spell casters because i believed that they are all scam, but a child hood friend of mine told me to give it a try and contact a spell caster which i did, i contacted Chief Nwaluta and was doubting his powers, because he assured me not to worry about anything that all will be well, he did the spell for me and now my ex husband is back in my life and our marriage is saved with the help of chief nwaluta, here is his email if you are going through cases like this { Nwalutaspelltemple@gmail.com } you can also contact him on his website http://lovespellmallam.yolasite.com/ . Thank you chief, i really appreciate i will always be testifying about your good work.

    ReplyDelete