Friday, May 2, 2014

People who ACTUALLY deserve tickets

Remember how earlier in the week I got a speeding ticket? I'm still mad about it. And every day I've seen people who are more deserving of tickets than I was/am. I mean duh, I never do anything wrong, right? And even though I was legitimately speeding, I totally didn't deserve that ticket. So here's your Friday list of people who ACTUALLY deserve to get tickets. None of them are me. Like, would YOU give a ticket to this face??

// The dude who didn't even slow down for the stop sign on my street and had I not been paying attention and just assumed he was going to follow the rules of the road, would have T-boned me. Thanks, jerk, for almost killing me.

//Whoever invented 2048. I've been playing for weeks (or months, maybe, I don't know ... the days are starting to run together) and I CAN'T WIN. I just need to win so I can finally move on with my life.

//The lady on the freeway who insisted on driving 62mph, which, coincidentally, was the same amount of mph's as the car right next to her so I WAS NOT ABLE TO PASS THEM. You just don't do that. YOU DON'T.
//The lady in Target who somehow managed to block an entire aisle in the makeup section with only her body. I mean come on, pay attention to your surroundings and let me go past you so I can buy my Maybelline FitMe powder and then go find some Biore strips!
// People who put the toilet paper on under instead of over. 
//The cooks at the Mexican restaurant last weekend who put my sour cream and guacamole INSIDE my monster burrito instead of ON THE SIDE of my monster burrito. It affected the taste and I'm still upset about it.
//Anybody who offers me Diet Pepsi when I asked for Diet Coke. NOT THE SAME.
//The weather. It does NOT need to be in the 90s today.
//The Clif bar people for not putting apricot Clif bars in ANY STORES. All I wanted to do was mail some to Keith but I couldn't find them so I had to order them online and have them mailed to him, but then there was a fire there and I'm pretty sure it didn't affect the mail but WHO REALLY KNOWS?
//Anybody who thinks that a busy checkout line is the place to search for exact change in the bottom of her purse. Figure it out BEFORE it's your turn, otherwise I will be forced to glare at you until you leave the store, and I promise you won't enjoy it.
Obsessed with this song. Can't stop.
Play It Again by Luke Bryan on Grooveshark


  1. Oh my gosh -- dying over this! I got a speeding ticket (second one...oops) the day I was moving to a new city, even with my grandmother and cute little puppy in tow. In my defense, I didn't know I was speeding. But I can assure you that I saw a thousand other people who deserved that ticket much more than I did! Oh well. I'll get over it one day.
    Happy Friday! xo

  2. Yes Yes and more Yes!!!!!
    How is it the idiots that always drive like lunatics never get tickets but let me make one oopsie and BAM cop! Want to know whats worse driving past the bank see a cop car slow way down apparently not enough and I see a flashing light. It was a camera cop car REALLY an entire car just sitting there to snap pictures with no cop in it. Thats BS!

  3. I agree with all of it, especially the jerkwads who completely block the freeway and one won't pass the other! Just an FYI, mail was totally NOT affected here. Although that fire was intensely scary.

  4. Maybe you should carry around a notebook and instead of that phrase "here's your sign" start handing out tickets. "congratulations, you're the stupidest person I've met all day."

  5. All those people do deserve tickets! You should just write them yourself. At least we still have Luke Bryan we can listen too.


  6. Hi, you're pretty. Stop that right now.

    Also, I think all of these people deserve tickets ... I'm about to text you a picture about 2048 that may end our friendship. sorry in advance.

  7. 2048 is the most addictive thing ever and possibly the worst thing that's happened to me. I like need to win. Also Diet Pepsi & Coke are not the same and glare at waiters who respond with "Yes. Diet Coke" when I ask for Diet Pepsi. Umm... did you not just hear me?

  8. Bahaha, these are great and I LOVE that song. But I have to admit... if the person behind me is being douchey and tailgating me, I will catch up to the person next to me & go their same speed to piss them off. But the person has to deserve it, of course.

  9. So 2048. I TOTALLY thought you had to get 2,048 points and I was like "this is so easy, I got 6,440 one time" and then someone told me that you are trying to get a block that says "2048" and I don't even know what adds up to 2048 and I feel like I'm failing at life.

  10. Slow people in the checkout line drive me bonkers. I go on BIG shopping trips (because taking a toddler to the story 20 times a week sucks) and I use lots of coupons, but my stuff is ORGANIZED. And together. If I can get all my stuff together the person buying three things shouldn't take so damn long.

    Can you tell I went grocery shopping today?

  11. Ooohh girl you look so pretty in that selfie! Loving your hair. And ummm TOTALLY agree with the Diet Pepsi one. Really.

  12. you crack me up!!

  13. UGHHH I HATE people who block the entire aisle at the store. How do they think that's okay? And then I go to the next aisle so I just reappear on the other side of them and they still don't move for other people.

  14. A great list of offenders. haha. Who puts sour cream INSIDE the burrito?? Weirdos.

  15. I totally agree with your list. People who don't know how to function at a stop sign just bug the crap out of me, it's really a simple concept!