Monday, May 19, 2014

Bachelorette Party Weekend... pictures and stories

I have so many pictures and so many stories to show and tell and you guys, I am so tired right now because that's what happens when you wake up at 2:15am and then proceed to drive 250 miles and then get to work at 6:59 in the am. Let's begin.

We have to start with a picture of my niece because she's the cutest thing ever and she's doing this thing where she sucks her lips in when she smiles and it kills me every time. Look at this and then go ahead and scroll down because there's so much information to share with you.

I was in Orange County over the weekend for my old roommate's bridal shower and bachelorette party. So Friday after work I headed down the coast and it was beautiful and I stopped at In N Out and every single part of me was very very happy.

The shower was on Saturday and I had my outfit all picked out but then I didn't plan my underthings very well so I had to wear a black maxi skirt and a sweater and I was SO hot... not sexy hot but temperature hot. And sweating. Not even a beautiful "glisten," but full on "I can feel the droplets going down my back." TMI? No such thing on here. Cortney's future mother-in-law hosted the shower at her home and it was BEAUTIFUL. It looked like Pinterest barfed all over everything. Plus there was a mimosa bar so I was in heaven. And there was a pool so we could dip our feet in there.


I learned a very valuable lesson over the weekend: pay very close attention to the bridal shower invitation because there are different kinds of showers and you're supposed to buy different gifts for the different kinds. There can be regular showers, where you buy regular things off the registry; or kitchen showers, where you write a recipe and give the bride household products; or there can be a lingerie shower, where you give the bride LINGERIE.

The invitation said the shower was "Naughty or Nice." In my genius mind that means "Oh, it's naughty if you want to bring lingerie but it's nice if you want to get something off the registry. Ok I can totally do this." So I skedaddled over to Bed Bath and Beyond and when I saw that Cortney had registered for a fancy toilet plunger I was like, "YES YES I MUST BUY HER THIS." So I wrapped it up and stuck a note on it that said, "You're taking the plunge... into marriage!" Faith gets all the credit for that.

I was feeling pretty proud of my gift but then the gift opening portion of the shower came and Corntey started opening up boxes and bags filled with lovely nighties, bras, and panties, and I sucked down my mimosa and whispered to the girl sitting next to me, "Is this a LINGERIE shower??" And when she said, "Uhhh yeah," I promptly went and refilled my mimosa and proceeded to die of embarrassment.

BECAUSE I GAVE HER A TOILET PLUNGER AT HER LINGERIE SHOWER. If there is an opposite of "sexy lingerie" I'm pretty sure it's "toilet plunging."

Thankfully she [said she] thought it was funny, and I pretended like I didn't care, but you guys? I TOTALLY CARED AND I'M STILL NOT OVER IT.

Take a look at this photo. It's Lisa, Cortney, and me. This photo make me realize two things: 1) that I REALLY miss being as blonde as the two of them, and 2) that I need to work on my photo editing skills because I succeeded in making my nose completely invisible. BUT I also succeeded in only showing one of my chins so you just have to take your wins where you can.


After the shower the 8 of us in the bridal party headed down to Huntington Beach (where gas is actually under $4/gallon!) to go to dinner and play bachelorette party games in the hotel. We drank some champagne in the hotel and primped for a few hours and then headed out to dinner at this delicious Mexican restaurant called Sol.




You're welcome for the pictures.

I know what the people want.

This place had the most expensive delicious margaritas I have ever tasted. The first one I had was some fancy mango one and there was something spicy on the rim but I have no clue what it was but it was delicious. SO DELICIOUS.

The next one I had tasted like a watermelon Jolly Rancher and holy YUM. I ignored my food because I was so busy enjoying the margaritas, and I fully intended on drinking more champagne in the room and eating cold tacos at midnight but I COMPLETELY FORGOT and I feel like a failure.

There were many many inadvertent sexual comments made during dinner but I can't repeat them because I don't need any more weird search terms leading people to my blog. I've already got people finding my blog because they're googling stuff about being "really in love with my cousin what to do" and the madness just needs to stop.

Basically it was "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID" every four seconds.


We played some games after dinner and I feel like I can't tell you what they were because they were pretty inappropriate. One was a version of pin the tail on the donkey but you didn't pin a tail on a donkey... you had to kiss a poster. You can probably figure out what the poster was. The next one was a ring toss game where we had to secure a very phallic object on our head and somebody else tried to toss a ring on it.

It was really hard. twss.

There were 7 of us in the room ... and 2 beds. But we're girls, and we're problem solvers. So we had one person sleep on the floor and then we had 3 people cram into each bed. I was in the middle of one of the beds and it wasn't that bad until I woke up in the morning and was SO sweaty because it was really warm in the room. I felt completely disgusting and all I wanted was to just take a shower and wash my hair. But I didn't because we went to go get coffee and on our way we walked past this really strange fountain that just seemed questionable.



I don't even know what they're doing and I still can't wrap my brain around it.

The hotel we were at was right across from the ocean and it was BEAUTIFUL. This picture doesn't nearly do it justice, partially because it was the morning and I think there was a marine layer or something. People always talk about marine layers and even though I grew up right next to the ocean I've never quite understood what that means. I mean I know it's fog over the ocean but I don't know why it happens or anything like that. I'm not a scientist, people.


Then I stayed down south until 2:30 this morning and then I drove home.

Also in the car on the way down I had a concert and tried to sound like Carrie Underwood but I didn't sound anything like her and I totally lost my voice.

The end. I'm tired. 

23 comments:

  1. I STILL CAN’T BELIEVE THAT WAS A LINGERIE SHOWER. In Texas we take our lingerie very seriously, and therefore clearly label our shower invitations. I am so sorry that happened to you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies

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      Delete
  2. I think the plunger is awesome. Like seriously that is hilarious. And it's not like you bought her something she didn't want. A plunger is WAY more useful than lingerie.

    ReplyDelete
  3. That is quite possibly the most hilarious bridal shower gift ever.....that would so happen to me. I'm sure she'll probably use that plunger more than the lingerie anyway, let's be real haha

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  4. I laughed really hard at the toilet plunger thing, hilarious!! Sounds like such a fun weekend, get some sleep!

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  5. LMAO aww I would have been mortified and its totally something that would have happened to me bc I suck at showers.
    Those statues look kinda creepy, like chucky almost.

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  6. LMAO so did you say anything when she opened the plunger? A lie about why you got it even though you knew it was a lingerie shower? Or did you mention that you actually didn't know it was a lingerie only shower?? LOL too freaking funny! I probably would have gotten up and been like "Oops, I forgot the card, can you hand me that present?" and then hid it! lol

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hahah that is too funny that you got her a plunger! I once went to my (ex) boyfriend's cousin's lingerie shower, she was marrying a preacher's son and was pretty conservative herself so I had a hard time picking something out. I ended up getting two lacy bra and pantie sets and thought that wouldn't be TOO risque. So she starts opening presents and the first one was a KNEE LENGTH COTTON NIGHT GOWN and I seriously contemplated grabbing my bag and running for it!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Your niece is adorable, and you ladies look lovely!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Do not feel bad about the plunger. Out of all the gifts she received, I guarantee the one she will always remember the most will be the plunger.

    -Jackie
    http://ournashvillelife.com

    ReplyDelete
  10. The plunger. That is hilarious.

    On the plus side, at least you know the bride WANTED the plunger!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Thank you for providing very entertaining stories consistently.

    ReplyDelete
  12. That fountain is very questionable. You look so pretty in your pictures. It's not fair, really.
    Loveya.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Gahhh, I am jealous. Every time I drive by that hotel I want to go inside! Two nights there cost half almost my rent though haha Pretty sure you are talking about Chile salt on that margarita. I thought it was going to be a weird combo but yummm.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Just read the plunger part of your story out lout to my mom because I laughed so hard reading it. You're welcome.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Loved this post! By the way, I totally think you look great with your hair (but as a brunette, I'm kinda supposed to say that, right?) But really, you do!
    Also, I'd take the plunger over lingerie any time. Which makes me a weirdo, but I love funny and heartfelt gifts.
    Massive hugs from Spain <3

    ReplyDelete
  16. hahaha I just love you. but you already know this.
    LINGERIE SHOWER, JULIETTE. LINGERIE.
    and you took the plunge and bought the plunger. I have no words.

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
  18. it gives me inside warm fuzzies that you gifted her with a toilet plunger. i mean, lezbihonest, she'll probably use the toilet plunger more than she'll use the slutty outfits.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Yes, that is a great hotel. Love it!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Yay I wanted that picture of us in the pool! Also, does the shirt you wore to the dinner belong to Elise? Pretty bummed I missed the plunger situation...

    ReplyDelete

  21. How To Stop A Divorce And Save Your Marriage?(Dr.Brave).

    Hello to every one out here, am here to share the unexpected miracle that happened to me three days ago, My name is Jeffrey Dowling,i live in TEXAS,USA.and I`m happily married to a lovely and caring wife,with two kids A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my wife so terrible that she took the case to court for a divorce she said that she never wanted to stay with me again,and that she did not love me anymore So she packed out of my house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get her back,after much begging,but all to no avail and she confirmed it that she has made her decision,and she never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my wife So i explained every thing to her,so she told me that the only way i can get my wife back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for her too So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow her advice. Then she gave me the email address of the spell caster whom she visited.(bravespellcaster@gmail.com}, So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address she gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my wife back the next day what an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my wife who did not call me for the past seven {7}months,gave me a call to inform me that she was coming back So Amazing!! So that was how she came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and she apologized for her mistake,and for the pain she caused me and my children. Then from that day,our relationship was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster . So, i will advice you out there to kindly email this wonderful man {bravespellcaster@gmail.com},i f you are in any condition like this,or you have any problem related to "bringing your ex back. So thanks to Dr Brave for bringing back my wife,and brought great joy to my family once again.{bravespellcaster@gmail.com} , Thanks..

    ReplyDelete
  22. There are many venues available if you’re planning to have the best bachelorette party nyc but the most fun is just hanging out with your best friends even if it’s at somebody’s home.

    ReplyDelete