Tuesday, February 4, 2014

The Worst Advice I've Ever Heard

 1. Put bronzer on your nose. Um excuse me, but who does this? Why would you do this? When you put bronzer on your nose it just looks like you stuck your face in Nutella, and Nutella goes in your MOUTH, not all over your face.
 
 
 
2. Date somebody totally wrong for you. DO NOT EVER DO THIS. Seriously, I think this is possibly the worst advice ever. Why would you do this? Really, what good can come of this? Your life is not a movie and you will not magically change the bad boy to be not the bad boy. It won't happen. The only thing that will come from you dating somebody totally wrong for you is that you will make compromises and decisions that you won't be able to take back, and they will affect you for the rest of your life. Just don't do it.
 
3. Go to the airport with no destination, close your eyes, point, and pick. Maybe this is just because I'm a wimp and not that spontaneous, but this doesn't sound very smart. What if you point to Yemen? The only thing I know about Yemen is that Chandler went there to escape Janice. So basically Yemen is a bunker country where people go to escape their crazy girlfriends. This is not a good idea. MAKE A PLAN. Call some hotels. Maybe tell people where you're going to Liam Neeson doesn't have to come try and find you.
 
 
4. Blow an entire paycheck on a pair of shoes. WHO IS COMING UP WITH THESE IDEAS?? Why would this be a good thing? YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO BUY FOOD IF YOU BLOW YOUR PAYCHECK ON SHOES. I know Carrie Bradshaw would rather have magazines than food, but if you don't eat you won't have the energy to walk in those Loubs. Just don't do this. It's a horrible idea.
 
 5. Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words can never hurt you. I'm sorry but what planet are you from? I call bullshit on this.

6. Play hard to get. No. This doesn't work and it's a horrible plan. Don't do it.
 
And six is as far as I'm getting because thinking of this bad advice is making me crazy. The end. 
 
 photo ScreenShot2013-06-23at112320PM_zps46bb1b5d.png

31 comments:

  1. haha yes, I agree with all of this, EXCEPT, bronzer on the nose. i always put it there, but i don't use a sparkly one, i use a matte one. because that's where the sun hits. am i dumb?!

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    1. Bronzer on your nose is ok and long as its not all connected like Ms. Zeta-Jones above. There needs to be a bronxer free zone between where it hits your nose and your cheeks. Otherwise you just look like a cray oompa-loompa. So says my makeup training back in the day. Just don't get heavy handed. Think of it as a sprinkle of sun, not a dousing.

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  2. This list is funny. Although one of these days I'm going to save up the equivalent of a paycheck, and then blow it on shoes. Just cuz.

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  3. So funny and true! Why would anyone want to accentuate their nose?! Yea and dating somebody totally wrong for you won't feel reckless it will feel like a big fat waste of time!

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  4. Do people actually advise you to blow whole paychecks on shoes? Who does this?! Terrible advice.

    I actually do use bronzer on my nose, but I use the smallest amount humanly possible. I found that if I didn't it was obvious I had used bronzer elsewhere. We all have different skin that responds different, am I right? :)

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  5. Wait, people go to the airport without a destination in mind?! HOW DO THEY PACK?! Also, aren't last minute tickets like a bijillion dollars?! I agree, this advice is no good.

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  6. lol @ the someecard at the end...story of my life!

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  7. #4 I could never imagine doing at least not on shoes, but I've found that people who have less money spend more money and it becomes a vicious cycle. So I used to be completely broke, and what I learned is that sometimes people who have bills piled up develop this attitude: "I'm never going to be able to pay off all my debt, so why not buy some things I like?"

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  8. I think a little bronzer is a must, just not enough that you can tell you are wearing it! Love the Yemen GIF! oh Friends!

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  9. I get nervous just thinking about dropping an insane amount of money, whether it be on shoes or a "spontaneous" trip. My Type A personality won't allow me to do this, and for that, I'm thankful.

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  10. All bad advice. I might blow a whole pay check on a pair of shoes though. But, I wouldn't tell anyone else to do that.

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  11. I would have major anxiety trying to go to the airport and just point and pick! What if I packed warm and chose somewhere cold? What if I picked somewhere where women are supposed to wear burkas? WHAT IF I PICKED MY OWN CITY? Terrible idea.

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  12. HAHAHAHA!! I love this post!! In particular - the whole playing hard to get gambit. I hate that game :(

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    1. But I must admit...if I had spare cash in the bank....I would buy the shoes. *small obsession*

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  13. Yemen. You referenced Yemen. And Liam Neeson. That's really all I care about here.

    Oh, and all of this is TERRIBLE advice. Don't ever recommend these things to me.

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  14. Who needs shoes that expensive? I mean really? And who can blow that much money on a last minute plane ticket? People who live in romantic comedies, that's who.

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  15. i dont get women who are in credit card debt from all the shopping. i know some who spend $700 on a pair of high heels. WHAT?!?!??!!??!?!

    kathy
    Vodka and Soda

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  16. I think you need to find new advice givers.

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  17. Love this! That is an awful picture of Catherine Zeta-Jones!

    Kristin
    Crumbs & Curls

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  18. What if I'm SUPER tan? Can I put bronzer on my face then? Or what if I live at the Jersey Shore?

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  19. Love these so funny and yet so true. Could never see myself spending my entire paycheck on one single pair of shoes!!

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  20. YES. The idea of spending all my money on shoes makes me sick, and so does randomly picking a destination at an airport- how are you supposed to pack if you have no idea where you're going?! People make no sense...

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  21. This is perfect. "15 Yemen Road, Yemen" is one of my favorite Friends moments. It kills me every single time.

    I could not agree more with #5 and #6.

    And since you mentioned Nutella, I'm headed to the pantry now.

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  22. I love you simply because you referenced Yemen. I'm a Friends fanatic!!!! But agree, such awful advice!!

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  23. This is a great list! There is definitely a ton of bad advice out there in the world- good thing we have common sense to identify it!

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  24. Bahaha this is legit! Love the entire list!

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  25. Where in the world did you hear these pieces of advice?!?!?

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  26. #3: Go to the airport with no destination, close your eyes, point, and pick is completely on my bucket list! Of course, before buying the plane ticket I'd check visa requirements, but I'd love to go to the airport, walk up to a counter and say, what flights do you have leaving at 2pm today? Great, book me.

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