Friday, May 31, 2013

Friday Favorites

It's Friday which means that my brain has basically been shut off since my alarm went off at 5:26 this morning and I snoozed for a good 33 minutes (until 5:59 in case you didn't want to do the math, I know I didn't). So I'm here to give you another episode of Friday Favorites (previously known as Favorite Things Friday which doesn't have the same ring to it). Please contain your excitement. Or don't.

Donuts.
Chocolate frosted sprinkle cake donuts, to be specific. Two, please.
Cake donuts are really the only kind I like. I know some people swear by the airy glazed Krispy Kreme kind but I can't stand those. Blech. No thanks. Almost every day Sometimes I stop by the bakery on my way to work and get two donuts and a large coffee (insert cop joke here), but I've really been trying not hard at all really hard to stop doing that because my pants aren't fitting very well anymore. Oh well, that's a sacrifice I'll just have to make, I guess.


Eating and Sleeping.
Pretty self explanatory, really.
Sometimes I have dreams that I'm eating and that's the best of both worlds.

E-Cards.
Especially this one.
Have you ever lived with people who conveniently "forgot" to replace the roll?
Or worse, the people who put a new roll on but do it UNDER instead of OVER?
(AKA the WRONG way.)
**SHUDDER**


The Library.
I got a new library card yesterday and it made me really nostalgic.
Mostly of the times my mom threatened to not drive me to the library until I cleaned my room/did my math homework/practiced the piano/did more math homework.


Quotes.
The good ones, like this from The Office.
But not anything that Marilyn Monroe, Audrey Hepburn, The Dali Lama, Buddha, etc etc etc said because guess what? Chances are that NONE OF THEM EVER SAID THOSE THINGS.
Please stop.

Margaritas.
Firestone makes the best (because they are so strong you might fall off your stool after half of your first one).
And really, any kind of drink after a long day of sleep checking Twitter checking Instagram reading blogs work makes everything better. Also I need some new suggestions for drinks because "margarita" "vodka cranberry and orange" "margarita on the rocks no salt" are really long names for things and it makes me sound way more high maintenance than I am. 

What are some of YOUR favorite things?

Thursday, May 30, 2013

And that was college

Yesterday was the 3-year anniversary of my college graduation.
Three years?? How did that happen??
Sometimes I miss college. I miss living in the dorms, seeing all my friends at the cafeteria, napping on the lawn before class, and going to Molcasalsa or In N Out or Common Grounds in the middle of the night just because we CAN.
I thought about listing everything I wish I'd done differently at school, but 1) that would take too long, 
and 2) that would make me pretty sad. So instead I decided to focus on some good memories and fun times, because that's way healthier for my emotional state.
1) My hall freshman year on a floor retreat. I can count exactly four girls in that picture who I would be able to call or text and it wouldn't be weird. That's kind of sad.
2) Emily (from The Hamberger Wedding), Lisa, and myself at a Christmas party, looking awesome as usual.
3) Cortney's 21st birthday, where it was not a "drink till you have to be carried home" celebration but instead more of a "have a glass of champagne and belt out 'Need You Now' on the floor" celebration.
1) Just being naturally cool at California Adventure. We did this a lot because I worked at Disneyland and am legally bound to keep the description of my job a secret.
2) My first time on Tower of Terror where I cried because I am not dramatic.
3) One of our floor-wide dates where I brought my brother because I was not popular with the men aka the boys I liked had girlfriends.

1) Me and Lisa at that same Christmas party from above being adorable and not weird.
2) More of that 21st birthday party where we sand Lady Antebellum on the floor like normal people.
3) Sophomore RA's Megan and Kaitlyn at a dorm Christmas party where we had juice. Plain juice.

1) The film majors made a movie and it was shown in an actual theater, so my freshman roommates and I got fancy and took a picture with the director 'cuz that's what the cool kids were doing.
2) LaRae, Nikki, Me, and Meggie at our senior dinner where I wore a dress that was way too tight.
3) Sophomore event at a beach. 
3) Floor dinner at PF Changs where we were perfectly normal and I definitely took those chopsticks home with me and I STILL have them.

1) Photoshoot that you can really only do in college because it's the lsat time it's even sort of socially acceptable to have a camera on a timer taking pictures of seven people by a fountain.
2) Sometimes we went to Chik fil A and danced in the car.
3) Freshman roommates going to Midnight Madness I think. We were supposed to dress up in our school colors. Apparently I thought ribbon chokers were still cool (GAG) but I was so wrong.
4) Another floor date (GYRAD) where our group dressed up as superheroes. I'm in the orange. Again, I think college is the last time you can dress up and take these dumb pictures without people thinking you need to be seriously medicated.

Sometimes we got dressed up and went out.
1) A club in Hollywood, also featured in That One Time.
2) LaRae and I at DV8 in Hollywood, gettin' sweaty on the dance floor before the Brazilian man showed her  that in Brazil "we no dance, we keeeeese!!!"
3) Cortney, me, and Lisa at TGI Fridays in Orange getting my mind off a breakup.
4) A graduation party, also getting my mind off a breakup. Also that dress was a size 4 and those were some good days, but I like donuts too much to wear a dress like that again. Sue me.

1) A group of sophomores going out for dinner in Seal Beach.
2) A group of freshman going to a birthday dinner at BJ's in Brea.

1) Snacks for one our our many all-nighters.
2) More snacks for an all-nighter.
3) Karina after one of the all-nighters.

1) Karina, Dr. Muehlhoff, Jimmy, and Me at our Lambda pi Eta closing ceremony. I feel like I should do a whole feature on "The Muehl" because he was by far the best professor and everyone agrees. (Lambda was our communication honors society, FYI.)
2) Me and a friend at our last lacrosse class.
3) Karina, Jimmy, and me at our graduation. Communicating. (Get it?)

1) Karina, Jimmy, Me, Becca (pretend Emily is photoshopped in). Best comm major group ever. 
2) Me and my diploma.
3) Me and Brian (side note: he just graduated from law school and is now a hermit because he's studying for the bar exam.)
4) Me and Dr. Lunde, a Bible professor. This was so awkward:
Me: "Dr. Lunde!!! Can we take a picture really quick?"
Dr. L: "I actually have to be somewhere ...." 
Me: "NO! It'll be so fast!!!!" 
Dr. L: "uhhhhhh...." 
CLICK
Me: "K THANKS BYE"

And that was college.

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

That One Time

Do you ever have things happen to you that make you think, "This is gonna make a REALLY good story one day!" I do, and I'm sure you do, too. While trying to put myself in a better mood, I decided to think of some of my "good stories." That was a really good idea. I've been entertained for a while now just thinking back to younger and dumber times. And I've really been wishing I took more pictures.



 One time I went to a club in Hollywood at 10 on a Saturday night and there was an Italian buffet.






















One time I met a guy at a bar in Fullerton and I convinced him to bring me a breakfast burrito and Diet Coke to work the next morning.

 
One time I made my own bird costume for Halloween and made really good friends with a guy in a pig costume.  And an Obama costume.















One time my neighbor Tarik came over and sat on my couch and drank my water and talked about how he remembered things from before he was born.


One time I went to a Jersey Shore party dressed as Snooki and made friends with lots of guidos.
(Fun fact: I'm wearing that same shirt at work today!)















One time I fell off the elliptical machine at the gym, got my leg caught in between the pedals, and made THIS <-------- happen="" leg.="" my="" p="" to="">















What are some of YOUR good stories?

(Not mentioned: the time I knocked over the display case in Rite Aid, the time I accidentally hid "ADD AS FRIEND" on an enemy's facebook wall, and the time I split my pants right up the middle while playing first base at a softball game.)

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Bachelorette Week One Snoozefest

Never have I ever seriously considered recapping the Monday night train wrecks ABC produces, but then Desiree's season happened and I realized that few things could be more fun than publicly mocking this show that makes a mockery of love. And that's a lie. I can think of plenty of things that are more fun than watching/talking about/thinking about this show. Like sleeping. Painting my nails. Drinking a mimosa. Sleeping.

I've been wondering for a while now if Desiree has any real friends, because whoever told her to wear a wig and a mom outfit in her promo picture (on left) clearly didn't have her best interests at heart. Des, you're better than that. Whiskered denim is no one's friend.

“Picture like, the best dream you've ever had and times that by ten, and then live in it. That's where I am.”
Great. Desiree's first sentence and already all I want to do is correct her grammar. MULTIPLY! It's multiply! You don't times things, you multiply them! Why are so many people so bad at getting that straight?

Back to the show.
Oh cool, here comes Desiree (gotta think of a nickname for her) up to her new house.
Oh good lord is that her PURSE? What on earth does she have in there?? A BODY? That thing is unnecessarily huge and she's going to have neck problems for sure if she keeps carrying around impractical tote bags for fun. Also, is it just me or does the hood of her car look like it needs to be fixed?


Oh hey Chris Harrison, I almost forgot about you because you're worthless. And what's up with your shirt?
Trying to keep my eyes open while we watch Des prance around this house that has a really awesome carpet and I'd like to take my shoes off and walk around on it but no I would not lie in that bed because it's been the tissue to the tears of so many bachelorettes and I don't need any more salt in my diet thank you very much.

Cue Desiree's growing up sob story and I wish I was asleep. And how has this show only been on for a minute and a half? Des is already crying. No you are NOT Cinderella! Your torso is WAY too long for that, and trust me, I would know. Token flash back to Sean and is anyone else noticing how much Desiree apparently likes red? Whatevs she obviously knows what looks good on her so I'm not gonna give her a hard time (LIE).

I've honestly never wanted to drive a Bentley (give me an Audi any day) but if they did give me a powder blue one I would definitely drive faster than 25 MPH which is how fast it looks like Des is driving. Aaaaaaand she's in the slow lane and that confirms my suspicions. Anyone want to bet she's not actually driving that car?

STOP with the Cinderella references! All you want is happiness and love? What about world peace and has your mother ever thought she was a tree (RHOC reference)? This solo date she's having is so weird, just her roller skating (not even blading!) down the boardwalk and trying on a random pink cowboy hat. I mean I guess if I had her toned body I wouldn't mind doing that but still it seems a little weird. I was going to try and count how many times she changed her outfit but I was tired and I lost count after seven I think. This whole thing is weird and I don't like it. Let's skip the other Cinderella references and the "what I need in a relationship" and oh yes I'm ready to find love through this not fake at all set up and get right to the real reason we're all watching this disaster: the man meat.

I wonder how they decide which guys to feature in these videos? I'm pretty sure everyone gets a video filmed but how do they decide? Only a few things stick out to me and I'm still wishing I was sleeping.
Will is the TBD (token black dude) of the season and as disgusting interesting as bikram yoga seems, he's annoying and won't last long.
Nick R. is the suit guy and when he's doing his magic tricks all I can think of is GOB and, "It's an ILLUSION, Michael!" (Arrested Development, anyone?)
Robert's dog is missing an eye and that will probably get him a sympathy rose or two. And is anyone else skeptical that he's the brain behind the sign spinning business? Seems kinda like how Romy and Michelle invented Post Its to me.

I'm starting to think that taking notes on this episode was a horrible idea because I'm enjoying it even less now (didn't think that was possible) and it's after 9pm and I should be in bed. But since we can't just skip over the meet and greets I guess I'll just highlight some of them? This might be long-winded and it might be really short so I guess we'll just see where the typing takes me.

Can we all just go ahead and agree that Ben won this part by having his adorable baby Brody come out of the limo? I almost died. It was so cute and I'm only a little irritated that Ben totally exploited his child for a chance of winning a reality contest. I don't care what you say, in the end it's a contest.

Michael G looks like Ronnie from Jersey Shore.
Will high fived her and no one has ever been friend-zoned so fast. Also now whenever someone gives nicknames I'm going to think of Phillip from Survivor and have horrible flashbacks to the disaster that was Stealths R Us so Will you please leave.
Kasey and the hashtags? That sounds like a horrible band and I hope he doesn't last. #noroseforyou
Zak W is the biggest douche ever and I hate him. Ten bucks says under "biggest fears" he wrote "white carbohydrates and living in a home with no mirrors."


Bryden – poor guy really needs a new hairdo.
James looks like the greasy salesman in a used car lot. Was anyone else as uncomfortable as I was when he said, "Nice to meet you. I can't wait to meet you-" and then she corrected him and they laughed but you just know he knew his time was up.
Why does Larry have a weird dance fetish? This seems like something that's the product of a dark childhood and he's not the surgeon I would trust with anything, not even my appendix.
Brooks and Desiree could totally share hair products.
Poor Diogo. Or jjjjhiogo. You never had a chance. “I'd call that trying to hard. Kinda like a guy who waxes his eyebrows." Whoever said that got a chuckle out of me.
Chris - “Will you mind if I tie my shoe?” That's so cheesy I wonder how hard it was for her to pretend like she thought that was funny. Flop.



Am I the only one who thinks Nick M. is kind of cute even though he had an awkward poem? And he's over 6' so he and I would work out. Not like actually work out because that's too physical and hard.




I went ahead and wrote down Nick M's poem:
"Des, after watching you at the end of last season,
I know I'm here for the right reason.
The way you showed such genuine emotion
made my heart flutter like waves in the ocean.
I'm really looking forward to this journey with you
and I hope you're just as excited too."
And after that I don't like him anymore.

At first I thought Brad was a little cute but now he's kind of creeping me out. And now that I'm taking a closer look at this weird acid washed tee I'm even more sure that I don't really like him. But his eyes are so pretty! But he's basically obsessed with peanut butter which is a weird thing to be obsessed with. He had nice teeth and an ugly suit and brought a wishbone and he got the short half. Snore.



I'm sure I'm not the only one who doesn't believe he and his buddies invented the sign spinning business. And I think that if you kiiiiiiiind of squint Robert looks like Jim Halpert but way less fun. His favorite movies are The Notebook/Silver Linings Playbook? Sorry. We're done.




Brody had the best line of the night: "I wish I could go to the party." Don't worry, I'm sure in 20 years the producers will be all over you to be on this show. And if The Bachelor/ette is still on in 20 years then we have much bigger problems than nuclear weapons in Korea or wildfires in Santa Barbara.

I wrote down almost everything that happened during the cocktail party but it was really hard because I was more interested in the tacky decorations in the "mansion" than what guy was juggling a soccer ball or what drunk idiot was trying to get on Desiree's good side. I don't envy Desiree for the group of guys they gave her because they look like total tools, but that's not really surprising considering what show it is. But Desiree has pretty thick shiny hair and I'm a little envious of that, but it's hard to pay attention to her hair when those tiny baby front teeth are there just begging for attention. So let's just assume that all these guys made fools of themselves (safe assumption) and fast-forward to the end.

Rose ceremony time. Is it just me or does it seem like there are way more guys this season than any other season? This whole thing is boring and I'm finding myself wishing I was asleep instead of watching this, but at the same time I don't want to go to sleep because that'll make the morning come fafster and I'm not really ready to go to work after this long weekend. But hooray for a short week!
Juan Pablo? Really?
And some people are leaving and I'm wishing I was asleep.
I hate this show so much. 

Saturday, May 25, 2013

I'm a catch and here's proof

I decided that I need a little confidence booster in the area of dating and how I'm not doing it right now. It's not that I hate being single, it's just that every now and then I like to be reminded that I am, in fact, a catch, and I'm single by choice as well as by circumstance. Stop laughing at me. It's true. Don't believe me?
Fine. Guess I have to prove it.
You asked for this.

I can bake cupcakes like a PRO at 10pm, and I can improvise and use marshmallows for frosting when there isn't any actual frosting. And they'll taste AMAZEBALLS. (Also, I say "amazeballs.")
Martha Stewart AND Julia Child called the other day asking for tips.

Not only can I bake, but I can also peel the skin off a potato like no one you've ever seen.
Need REAL mashed potatoes for Thanksgiving? GOT YOU COVERED. None of that boxy flaky crap when I'm around! It's real potatoes and milk, mashed to perfection and then slathered in just butter because I'm of the belief that gravy ruins everything.




I AM SO SPORTY.
Check out my form (mostly in the picture on the right because I was in wuHAY better shape then)! Honest to cheesecake, I was an ALL-STAR for a few years. I even still have the jacket and it MIGHT still fit me. You don't wanna mess with me. I play slow-pitch softball like a BOSS and I only trip once in every game occasionally.


I'm an entrepreneur!
I've been supporting myself since the young age of like 6 or 7. Here I am manning the lemonade stand (there's ALWAYS money in the lemonade stand ... anyone?) while my employees servants brother and sister are "helping." Once I made like $17. And I spent it all on candy and I probably didn't share. I DID stuff the Smartees wrappers in the side of my bed and then the carpet people came and found them and my mom was so embarrassed. Another time I'll tell you about my wad of chewed gum.


I have such great taste in movies.
If you know what movie I was watching here then you are a winner and we can be friends.
If you don't then we can still be friends but we'll have to have a marathon to watch all 8 films in 1 weekend.
Maybe I'll bake you some of my famous marshmallow cupcakes or mash you up some taters.
(What's taters, precious?)

I have like SUCH good style.
Basically Snooki but without the 'ho' part.
And without the baby or the arrests.
Actually forget the whole Snooki part because I don't want to be like her, I was just at a Jersey Short party in this picture. So actually, I'm a CHAMELEON and can go with the flow. That's a good quality too.



I have a really good sense of humor and am creative.
I made this outfit. I was a superhero.
My power was throwing sheep. Those are sheep velcroed onto my shirt. I made them.
I'm such a winner.


I don't know about you, but I feel a LOT better about myself right now.
Now I'm going to go live up the rest of this 3-day weekend and have as much fun as a single girl can have without being Snookie!
(It's still a lot of fun, in case you were wondering.)
I might even go for a run.
(I'm not gonna go for a run.)
I'll probably eat some dessert at some point.
And I expect to do copious amounts of sleeping.
(Also I have a good vocabulary.)


(FYI even though all these things are true this whole post is meant to be taken as a joke and to remind myself of how small I was when I thought I was so big.)



Friday, May 24, 2013

InstaFriday


life rearranged

The stories behind the pictures.
Compared to a lot of people, I rarely post on InstaGram. Compared to others, I post alllll the time.
My rule is that I can't post more than one picture in a 36 hour period.
And if you believed that's actually my rule, we need to be better friends because clearly you don't know me AT ALL.
But really, I probably post a picture every day or two.
Lots of pictures are of food. Lots are of me making funny faces. And lots are of the sky.
What can I say? My life is rich and full.
And almost every one is a picstitch because I mean WHO DOESN'T LOVE A COLLAGE.


My sister is having a baby girl in September!
This is the first niece/nephew/grandbaby in our family and I don't think I could be more excited.
Since this photo I've already bought more shoes, hats, and outfits and I'm not planning on slowing down.
It's really fun when people ask about the baby and they think I'M the pregnant one and I just go along with it because it's more embarrassing to say, "I'm not pregnant I just had two donuts for breakfast this morning."



Morgan (L) and me (R)
Morgan and I became friends when she and her dad were walking through the church parking lot to her house and I think she was carrying a stuffed elephant and they stopped to talk to me and my dad because we were outside grilling something and Morgan and I had a race to see who could recite her phone number the fastest. And FYI I still remember her phone number even though we haven't spoken in years.
I love posting "throwback" pictures.
Throwback Thursday is one of my favorites.
I was really cute when I was really little.
But then things went downhill for a while.


I mean....everyone has their awkward phases, right?
Mine lasted from 6th grade til probably my sophomore year of college.
I thought it was really cool to shave my eyebrows.
Yes. SHAVE THEM.
(Top L is 14yrs, Bottom L is 12yrs)
Then after I did that I tweezed the *$%@ out of them! I blame Stacie Orrico for that. She was so popular and I loved her "Genuine" song and she had greased hair and chola eyebrows so obviously I had to have that too. Thankfully I learned to let my hair down and my eyebrows grow in, and I learned that Wet N Wild foundation, concealer, AND powder isn't the best and also sparkles all over your face isn't the best either.
(Also, FILTERS)

Umm...I'm pretty sure this is self-explanatory.
But in case you're confused, this is a collage of me standing next to famous people.
Just kidding. Those are just guys I dated.
Warning: I'm going to use this for another post next week.
Hear that, Jacey? NEXT WEEK sometime. So don't bug me about it please.

Aaaaaaaaaaaand I may not have done InstaFriday the right way, but I don't know if there really is a right way. I found Jeannett's blog the way I find most of them, by browsing and clicking and reading and clicking, and I'm doing that thing that seems really creepy where I just read but don't participate.
Kind of like Latin class in Jr. High.




Thursday, May 23, 2013

Texts on a Thursday: Disneyworld Edition

Texts on a Thursday: Disneyworld edition is finally ending today!!
*Confetti*
 Jacey finally realized that Florida weather is awful and walking around a crowded theme park for a week loses is luster around the end of the second day (or within the first two hours if you're really a grouch) and she's driving home. This was the longest vacation EVER but thankfully she was 3 hours ahead instead of 3 hours behind, which meant that when I was getting ready for work before 6am it was almost 9am her time, so it worked out really well except for every day the days when I decided to sleep til 5:55 and not give myself time to actually do my hair so I've been sporting some really attractive bed head. And glasses.

I've never been to Disneyworld but I have spent many many many many days at DisneyLAND and it's definitely not a place I'd pick for a week-long vacation ... probably because I'm a little jaded thanks to a particular person who has something against my torso. 
(Vague paragraph brought to you by Bitter & Still Holding a Grudge.)

Remember that Jake is only 5. That's important.
Read and enjoy while sipping some ice cold Diet Coke through a skinny straw.
(The skinnier the straw the better the taste. Swear.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jacey: Jake just told Sue she smells like hot dogs and mustard
Jacey: I told him to please stop talking
Jacey: He didn't


Jacey: "I'm wearing these ears because I'm going to DISNEYWORLD. If you want to know my name just look at the back of my head" says Jake to every person he sees

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Me: Are you having fun?
Jacey: Yes. But it's hot and I'm hungry
Jacey: And I don't have good shoes
Me: What shoes are you wearing?
Jacey: Target clearance flip flops. Mistake.
Me: I could have told you that.
Jacey: Shhhh




Jacey: I did 90 crunches yesterday and it was the worst mistake ever

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jacey: I spent 3 dollars on a small diet coke and the carbonation syrup ratio is off.
Me: That's AWFUL
Jacey: I'm not handling it well
Me. Did you cry? Throw it on the ground? Pout?
Jacey: The third one. Obviously.



Me: I'm finally going to see silver linings playbook
Jacey: With who?Me: A burrito.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jacey: Disneyworld 1. Me 0
(Attached was a picture of her grumpy, sunburnt face)



Jacey: I'm going to shower and skype with Joshua and go to bed.
Jacey: And wake up at 630 to go to the gym
Me: I know you have good intentions but please don't get mad at me for not thinking you're going to the gym

***The next morning***

Jacey: So I didn't go to the gym
Jacey: But I have a good excuse
Me: Uh huh
Jacey: My dad kept me awake from 3-5 snoring like a MONSTER
Me: Hahahaha
Jacey: I kicked him and he stopped for 30 seconds
Jacey: So I'm just not allowed to eat anything good today as my punishment
Jacey: And I am going to give my dad dirty looks all day
Jacey: And make him buy me coffee
Jacey: And carry red bull in his back pack

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jacey: I can't text you as much today. I felt rude yesterday
Me: Ok. I can understand that
Jacey: I love you. Thank you for understanding
Me: You are very welcome and I love you too
Jacey: If I sent a text meant for you to Joshua he would think I'm cheating on him



Jacey: This is prime meltdown hour at the magical kingdom
Jacey: There's a little redhead crying with one sandal missing
Jacey: A NINE year old stomping and screaming

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Me: And I have to wear a bikini in 4 hours
Jacey: I'm wearing a bikini now and it's probably the worst part of my vacation so far

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jacey: I'm mat at my jeans
Me: I hate jeans
Jacey: They are tight and it's rude



(At 7pm Florida time)
Jacey: I need a nap and they want to do activities

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jacey: We left one hotel and now we are staying at a Disney one and he was rolling his suitcase out telling EVERYONE "I have a suitcase because I do NOT live here"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jacey: I'm throwing nutter butters at jake like he's a dog



Jacey: So many bad things just happened to me
Jacey: I was changing for the flight in the lobby bathroom because we checked out of our room and we have been at the pool
Jacey: I put my clothes in the sink while I peeled my bathing suit off.
Jacey: Automatic sink
Jacey: Drenched clothes no back up
Jacey: 6 hour flight
Jacey: And bath and body works lip gloss aka stickiest gloss in all the land exploded in my purse
Jacey: My clothes are so wet
Jacey: I have hotel shampoo in my eyes
Jacey: It is so humid
Jacey: And I'm sure I gained 10 pounds
Jacey: Oh and I'm sunburned
Jacey: And somehow I have 3 carryons
Me: Your life is in shambles.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And that concludes this edition of Texts on a Thursday.
I don't know about you but I think I'm done with Disneyworld, and I wasn't even there.
And I'm really excited because Jacey's bringing me a present but she'll only give it to me if I'm nice to her, which is really irritating and makes it not feel like a present so much as a bribe to get me to be nicer than I am on a daily basis.

Soooooo I guess I should write that Jacey is sooooo nice and pretty and funny and I'm sooooo glad she's coming home because she's soooo nice and fun.

(Ten bucks says that after she reads this she says something about my attitude and threatens to not give me my awesome present.)

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Hashtag Hamberger Wedding

Writing a lot of details about my weekend sounds really overwhelming (and no one really even cares. I know you're all just here for the pictures), so I'm really going to try and just stick to the basics of what happened. If you're one of the several people I texted and/or yelled "READ MY BLOG!" to on Saturday night, 1) you're a really good friend for actually doing it, and 2) I have a feeling I was less than polite about it so this is my official apology.

I left the comfort of my bed before 7am on Saturday and made it to Diamond Bar around 11:30 to spend some quality time with Alyssa while sipping iced espresso with white chocolate syrup by the pool.
Since I was in no condition to be wearing a bikini (screw you solo stix and my lack of willpwer), my feet were the only part of me that got some chlorine.
I don't want to be dramatic, but I've considered plastic foot surgery.
The worst part of summer for me is not being able to wear socks and shoes that cover my whole foot.
I have a huge issue with my toes. We don't get along because they have issues.


I got to eat Chick fil A with Lisa which was one of the best things OF MY LIFE.
GIVE ME A LARGE SIZED EVERYTHING, PLEASE.
Waffle fries are some of the best nomz.

We ran into Kaitlyn's for a few minutes and looked at some really pretty things and really weird things. I hate it when you pick up a really really pretty mint top that looks like it would be really flattering and modest and then you turn it around to look at the back and it looks like a cat got to it or the company just forgot to finish making it. I didn't even take any pictures of that because I was too mad.

I was also mad that this pretty flower ring wouldn't even fit on my LITTLEST finger.

Sunday we skipped church (I'M SORRY AND I COULDN'T HELP IT) and I didn't take any pictures of when I visited my brother at his new apartment and gave him paper towels, soap, and candy or when I visited my other brother and his wife Amy. Since apparently food is all that matters to me I DID succeed in taking about five pictures of my lunch [with Cortney and Lisa] at Bruxie.
You guys, it's a WAFFLE SAMMICH.
And Jacey said that it looks disgusting but what does she know? She also thought that Florida was three hours BEHIND California time so let's not take her word for it, OKAY?
It was an over hard egg, bacon, cheese, and avocado, ON A WAFFLE. And you eat it like a taco.

My old roommate Taylor and her adorable baby Carson came over to the apartment while I was getting ready for the #hambergerwedding and I didn't take any pictures of that either because I was too busy trying not to overheat myself while I blow-dried my hair in the heat of May in Brea. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
5-19-2013
#hambergerwedding

My friends Johnny Hamilton and Emily Berger (hashtag just came together for ya, didn't it?) finally tied the knot!! I met these two at Biola and I was so glad to be able to be there on this special day! Emily's dress was the Snow White dress from Alfred Angelo's Disney princess collection. It was STUNNING. 
The decorations were really pretty too, and they totally fit Emily's personality.
Emily and Johnny both play in a band that has had three or four different names and I think the name now is "For All Seasons" and you might wanna go check it out. They used to sing in chapel and Emily has a really beautiful voice that you'll love. Johnny's the drummer. It's adorable.

I don't remember what they danced to, but it was a really sweet song that hadn't been overplayed AT ALL so thanks for that, Johnny and Emily.
At the reception they had a slide show of the two of them and it got me teary. So sweet.


Karina was in the wedding, so she generously loaned me her husband Joe for the ceremony and the first ten minutes of the reception so I wouldn't look all awkward and lonely. 
It didn't help much.
So I wore my sunglasses almost the whole time because isn't the the universal, "Please do not approach me"?
At the reception they had a lady making Shirley Temples and I'm pretty sure she made other stuff too but I didn't care because HELLO IT WAS A SHIRLEY TEMPLE.
And there was cheese and I mean, what else could you possibly need.
Check out Karina's eyelashes!!
They're fake.

I drank 4 or 5 of these, I don't remember exactly. I thought I was going to bust out of my spanx but it was totally and 100% worth it and I wish I had one right now.


Karina, Emily, and me. I'll never forget our college days and the classes with The Muehl (aka the god of comm studies) or Lewis. Remember that one time we dropped our papers off at Lewis's house and we accidentally followed him home and we ran up to him and begged him not to count them late and he DIDN'T? That was awesome. Or the times we stayed up all night eating junk food and watching YouTube videos instead of actually working on our projects? Or the times we went to Chick fil A and got free food because they loved Biola? Or the times when I couldn't drive to Chick fil A because I had too much junk in the car? Or the time Karina almost slept through graduation?
"I saw Emily Berger wearing a white v-neck t-shirt, so I bought FOURTEEN white v-neck t-shirts."

I left the wedding around 9:30 because I am a grandma.
Actually it was because I had to make the four hour drive home and I didn't feel like sleeping and driving.
It's a bad combo. Don't try it.
And don't get a Jr. bacon cheeseburger from Jack in the Box because it's disgusting.