1. Denial. He hasn't texted yet. That's ok! He probably lost his phone. Maybe my phone broke. It probably fell into the toilet as he was texting me. Or maybe my phone is broken. I'd better text myself just to make sure my phone is working. pause. Oh, it is. Ok, let's be rational. Maybe he was in a car accident. OMG! That's it! He was in a car accident and now he's in the hospital in the ICU and nobody even knows about me because we've only gone on one date! And his phone probably broke in the crash and he doesn't remember my phone number. I'd better call all the hospitals and find out if he's in any of them because that is the only acceptable reason for why he hasn't texted me yet.
2. Anger. Are you kidding me? It's been almost a whole afternoon and he hasn't texted me? How hard is it to send one simple text? NOT HARD. He could have texted me in the car when he was stopped at a red light, in line at the drive through of Taco Bell, in line at the grocery store, or he could have just taken a "bathroom break" but really it would have been a "text the girl you went out with last night break." MEN ARE HOPELESS. When he texts me I'm going to make him wait A WHOLE HOUR before I text him back. THAT WILL SHOW HIM.
3. Barganing. What did I do wrong? I probably said the wrong thing on our date. He probably hates me. Did I have spinach in my teeth? That would be really weird since all we ate was ice cream. Maybe he didn't like the way I styled my hair. OMG did my breath stink?? I must have done something. If we go out again I'll act completely different. I'll laugh at his dumb jokes and I won't make fun of him when he wears white socks with black shoes again. I'LL CHANGE. I'LL BE BETTER FOR HIM.
4. Depression. I will be alone forever. There's no reason for me to even get out of bed. Nobody will ever love me and I will be Bridget Jones forever and ever.
5. Acceptance (*if you ever actually make it to this stage which I'm not convinced has ever happened*). It's fine, I don't need a man. I am a strong, independent woman who does not need
to smoke a man! I'll just leave my phone in the other room and not even think about him anymore. Wow I'm glad I'm over this. Ha ha, I sure was being silly earlier.