Wednesday, October 30, 2013

I JUST WANT TO BE A WIZARD

 
     I am SO late to this Harry Potter linkup but I promised myself (and Ashten) that I was going to have a post to link up and I've been trying to figure out what to write for what feels like HOURS and I almost said "forget it" but then I remembered what Blanche always said (better late than pregnant) PLUS I realized this post is about WIZARDS and one of the greatest wizards of all time has a perfect quote to go with this ridiculously long-winded run on sentence of an intro:
 
     Juliette, that's Gandalf and he's from Lord of the Rings not Harry Potter what the eff do you think you're doing??? Well sir or ma'am, I would like to kindly ask you to chill because I know exactly what I am doing. Plus, Frodo from LOTR and Harry from HP look alike and Gandalf and Dumbledore look alike so REALLY I'm just telling you things the rest of the world already knows.
 
Elijah Wood AKA Frodo Baggins:

Daniel Radcliffe AKA Harry Freaking Potter:
 
     What am I even talking about anymore....are you even still reading? I hope so, because the wizarding world of Harry Potter is magical (duh Juliette, we GET IT) and I think everyone should read the books, or, at the very least, watch the movies. ALL OF THEM. IN ORDER. But books first.
 
     To convince you of this, allow me to give you examples of ways that wizards are so much better than stupid Muggles. (Bazinga! You don't have to allow me to do anything. This is my blog, I can post what I want, I can say what I want, I can write what I want, yeah yeah.) And then I'm going to give you some scenes that will make you cry. Should I warn you that there will be spoilers ahead? There will be.
 
     //Wizard can fix shit without using dumb stuff like duct tape krazy glue actual tools. If I had the ability to fix my own glasses it would make life so much less stressful. Also if I had the ability to fix our toilet by just flicking a wand I would save so much time because currently we have to double tap our toilet and it's a huge waste of time and water.
 
 
     //Wizards' Halloween costumes are ALWAYS the best because they have polyjuice potion. If I had polyjuice potion I would probably become Jennifer Lawrence and then Chris Hemsworth. Of course, to do that I'd first have to have some of their hair or something so mayyyyyybe I'll start out with something a little easier. Like Ashten since I'll see her on Sunday. Is that creepy? Probably.
 
 
 
     // I am convinced that one of the most powerful kinds of magic used in HP is whatever magic it took to transform Neville Longbottom from boy to HUBBA HUBBA HOTTIE.
 
 
 
     //Their methods of transportation are like 93740383 times superior to ours. We have cars scooters and stuff, but wizards can invent FLYING cars. Or if they don't feel like being that obvious they can just travel through fireplaces via floo powder, turn any inanimate object into a portkey, or my favorite: apparate (just don't get splinched!) WHY WOULD YOU NOT WANT TO TRAVEL LIKE THAT.
 
  
 
     //HOUSE ELVES. If I had a house elf I would never have to cook, or do dishes, or clean at all, and I'd always have a companion who could levitate cakes and make them drop on the heads of people I hate. Obviously my house elves would be free elves but they'd stay with me because I would provide such a fun living environment. Plus, I'd pay them (in sticks of gum). And I bet they would rub my neck for me.  
 
Let's move on to part two:
Harry Potter Will Make You Cry 
 
     Yer a wizard, Harry. I didn't get emotional during this scene when I first read/saw it, but now when I think about it I get a little teary eyed. Those four words give Harry a new identity, one apart from the awful Dursley's. It's like Hagrid is giving Harry a key (one of those cool olden keys with all the filigree) and saying, "You're way cooler than stupid Dudley (stupid, fat hobbit!) and your life is about to be way better than anything that would happen in the confines of number 4 Privet Drive."
 
Not my daughter, you bitch! Actually this one didn't make me cry so much as it made me laugh. But it also made me heart swell because a mother's love is a special thing.
 
 
Dobby. If you'll excuse me I'll just be in a corner crying and wondering what Dobby ever did to you, J.K. Rowling?!?!?!?!??!!
 
 
...Always. What post about Harry Potter would be complete without a mention of this scene? For the entire series I hated Snape with a passion (just like everybody else did). Sure, I figured he had a reason to be such an ass but I also figured his reason was totally stupid and that I'd continue to hate him with the passion of a thousand suns. But with those five words...really with that one word... my heart got whiplash and the tears came hard and fast (even though it's still hard for me to wrap my brain around how a guy can love a girl so much but that's just the cynic in me and also that's a whole other post for a whole other time) and it was like everything I'd ever known was a lie but it was beautiful and magical and I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MY HANDS.
 
     That's all I have. Too many emotions were felt during the putting together of this post and I need a nap to recover. 
 
 Harry Potter link-up
  
 photo ScreenShot2013-06-23at112320PM_zps46bb1b5d.png
 

18 comments:

  1. gahhhh DOBBY. I can cry just looking at that gif!!

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  2. Loved this post! I love all of it - huge HP fan!

    agirlandhersparkles.blogspot.com

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  3. I love this post. I love how you managed to include Gandalf (because he's a wizard too). I've been emotional since last night because of this linkup so I feel ya.

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  4. I laughed. I cried. I get to see you on Sunday.

    It will be magical. Like wizards. Who will be our elves?!

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  5. I don't know what to do with my hands.

    That one.

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  6. I want to apparate to SLO to see you with Ashten. And I NEED a house elf.

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    1. USE FLOO POWDER. OR A PORT KEY.

      OMG JUST SHOW UP I WANT TO SEE YOU.

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  7. Oh Dobby--I cried so hard for poor Dobby. I pretty much agree with everything in this fantabulously awesome post.

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  8. You made me cry. And now I need to drop the book I'm currently reading and re-read HP for the millionth time. Also, I agree with every word in this blog, like literally every word. Potterheads always and forever!

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  9. I just went and experienced the Wizarding World of Harry Potter in FL, and proceeded to download all the books onto my kindle. I bawled my eyes out during the entire last book....especially Snape's last scene. My absolute favorite, favorite part of any of the books is when I realized that the Deathly Hallows are basically Ron, Hermione, and Harry. Each one of them is smart and powerful and unique, but together they are something amazing. I LOVE that. I love how detail oriented JKR was, and how thoroughly she explained everything that happened and WHY it happened, I feel so extremely blessed to have grown up with the HP series.

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  10. This post is so damn clever! I cant take it!

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  11. my life would be so much easier if I could just use wizarding transportation. it's 2013, where the eff is the flying cars!?

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  12. What happened to Doby was extremely sad, but Hedwig affected me more. Not really sure why since I didn't think I was attached to an owl, but that part really shook me the first time I read it.

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  13. I love this! Especially the part about Nevielle! Can I have that kind of magic? I'm weird and always loved Snape, even when is was an ass.

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