Friday, October 25, 2013

Don't buy me sushi

     At least three times a month I'll be trying to make dinner plans with somebody and during our lengthy process of deciding where to eat, it will be revealed that I DO NOT LIKE SUSHI. That declaration is almost always met with a gasp of shock and then I'm peppered with questions like, but have you TRIED the crispy salmon roll with minced eel?? or ok, but I think if you have five shots of sake before you eat it you'll change your mind. No, I don't think so, and I'll tell you why in a minute. But when I was thinking about this I also thought about other things I don't like and that was fun so I made a list READ IT AND MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I'M NOT ALONE IN MY DISLIKE OF SUSHI AND STUFF. Also, I keep typing "sushi" as "shushi" so obviously I need another cuppa coffee.
 
     If I had any computer skillzz at all I'd make a cool header or something that said, "A list of things I don't like," but I'm not good at that so...sorry but I know you didn't come here to see my lack of graphic making skills. No, you came here to see if I've put any googly eyes on stuff lately. I have, by the way.


Things I Don't Like


//Sushi. BECAUSE in 2007 I had sushi for the first (and last) time before a night of drinking 6 Smirinoff Twisteds. That night ended with me getting to see the sushi again and now I won't eat it, the cooked or the raw kind. KEEP ITAWAYFROMME.

//Beer. I wish I liked beer, I really do. I try to, and sometimes I take sips of it, but I haven't acquired the taste yet. I'm still sticking with my hard ciders and margaritas until somebody can invent a beer that doesn't make me feel like I'm drinking feet.



//Yoga. No thanks. I did it once but I had to hold in a fart toot butt whisper the whole time and at one point I succeeded in not noticing that I was facing the opposite direction as everyone else and then the instructor had to come over and help me figure out how to turn around and HE USED HIS TOES TO GRAB MY ACHILLES HEEL AND TURN MY FEET.


 



//Twitter. JK. Fooled you.
 
//Krispy Kreme donuts (or glazed donuts in general). In Jr. High I was going to Catalina Island for science camp (stop, I don't know why I'm so cool) and our fundraiser was selling Krispy Kreme donuts. We had to pick up the donuts about an hour away from where I live and I walked into a room in a church where twelve thousand Krispy Kreme donuts were being stored and it was like I was being hit by a wall of glaze and it was disgusting. I had to spend all day trying to sell those damn donuts and at the end of the day I was STARVING so I took a bite from one and it tasted awful and I spit it out no I'm not dramatic.  
 
//Bauble necklaces. I think they're pretty on other people but they're too big of a statement for me to wear.
 
//Pumpkin Spice Lattes. Give me pumpkin smelling candles or even pumpkin pie (PIE!) but don't even try to stuff a pumpkin flavored drink down my throat. But when the red cups at Starbucks come out you can bet I'll be all about the peppermint white mochas.
 

 
//Bangle bracelets. I LOVE bracelets but I hate hearing them whenever I move my arm and I hate it when they bump against the desk/steering wheel/computer keyboard/etc etc etc.I have a bunch though so I'll usually start out the day wearing one or three and take them off 5 minutes into the work day.
 
//Dogs. In elementary school I was at a birthday party and a jack Russell terrier chased me down a driveway and attacked the bottom of my pants (THANK GOD FOR BELL BOTTOMS FLARES) and a Rottweiler came and saved me. And I hate dog slobber. And fur. And how much energy they have. Go ahead and tell me that I don't have a soul but I'm ok with it.
 

 
//Fantasy football. This was never a problem until I got a blog twitter account and seriously every other tweet is about fantasy football and trades and stats and I'm just like I'M STILL PISSED ABOUT BASEBALL.
 
//Ryan Gosling. I. Don't. Get. It. And don't get mad at me, this just means more Ryan for YOU. (You're welcome.) 
 
HE'S SO CHEESY.
 
     So if you would like to come over for some tri tip, sprinkle cake donuts, cats, and baseball, that'd be great. 
 
 photo ScreenShot2013-06-23at112320PM_zps46bb1b5d.png

44 comments:

  1. I just can't move past the dog part...who can't love a dog..they are the most cuddly lovable babies!

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  2. Sushi. Gag.
    I don't really like pumpkin spice lattes because they're way too sweet, but drinking pumpkin flavored coffee (black, of course) is fine by me.
    I swore of bangle bracelets because my hands are strangely man-like in size. So unless they have a hinge of some kind, I can't even get them over my hand. And that's dumb.

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  3. i hate sushi, hate KK donuts, hate PSL, hate FF and ew ryan.
    i love bracelets and i used to have a ton of shit on my wrists all the time, but i stopped wearing them at all cuz yea they get in the way.
    if that jack russell thing didn't happen, you prob wouldn't mind the slobber and fur so much. he ruined it for you.

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  4. I hate sushi and PSLs. You're welcome.

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  5. My entire being was crushed because you don't like Ryan Gosling. Then I realized that meant more Ryan Gosling for me so I'm over it and we can be friends again.

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  6. I also hate beer and nobody can ever get over it. NO THANK YOU. I'm happy with my glass (re: bottle) of wine over here.

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  7. Love your blog so much! Beer definitely tastes or feet urgh!
    Laura x

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  8. NO. This whole post. Just, no. I mean, I'll like still be your friend or whatever, but no.

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  9. You. don't. Like Dogs? Come again? But....but.... I can agree with you about yoga and glazed donuts. Also I am SUPER picky about my beers and really prefer hard ciders over any other alcohol beverage. No tequila for me for the same reason you don't like sushi. yuck.

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  10. WE ARE DONE. Jk.. but really I don't understand. I guess I'll have to let those things slide.

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  11. I agree with you about beer... I just can't do it :( I try and TRY and even tried last night but I just can't.

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  12. I don't like sushi or any seafood besides popcorn shrimp, beer, coffee anything, yoga, sports (real or pretend), bangles, or bauble necklaces. Well, wait... I can drink beer if I'm already drunk.

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  13. so you basically hate all that is right in the world????

    lol JK i can do without yoga and PSL as well..but not liking DOGS! I'm just gonna say it - you have no soul!

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  14. I hate sushi. I tried it, I tried every kind, I tried forcing myself to like it, but I just don't. It's ikky and me no gusta. I also hate coffee which always makes people stare at me like I'm possessed or something, so you're not the only one that hates things that everyone loves -like krispy creme donuts! C'mon, dude! Donuts! Also, those googly eyes look awesome, I shall buy some and I shall have lots and lots of fun.

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  15. I'm not into beer either. Or fantasy football. Or football at all. Or glazed doughnuts. Or Ryan Gosling, particularly. I've never tried sushi but it frankly doesn't call out to me, I mean — give it to my cat, I'm sure he'll enjoy it more than I do, he gobbled up a bunch of raw liver this morning.

    But BAUBLE NECKLACES. Oh my god, I HATE THEM. On everyone.

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  16. I can't get down with sushi or PSL. I just can't. Nothing will change my mind. More Krispy Kreme and Ryan for meeeeee though!

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  17. I... I just...
    Sushi and Ryan?
    Oh oh oh.


    ;)
    Good thing you're still cool and stuff.

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  18. Let's be best friends! The only thing I like on your list is dogs, I just can't get over them hahaha. Oh and bangles... I like them but I also take them off 5 minutes into my day, whoops. But seriously fantasy football didn't even exist in my life until I was introduced to the blogging world, and I still hate it.

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  19. I was right there with you on the sushi and beer ... but KK donuts?! Oh man!! At least you didn't say bacon! That would just be un-American!!

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  20. I don't like sushi either, it's disgusting. And I don't see the big deal about Ryan Gosling either.

    xx Courtney
    chaseallyourdreams.blogspot.com

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  21. I don't really get the Ryan Gosling either. He is a complete cheeseball. As for dogs, I only like my family's dog. All others are too crazy for me.
    ~Krista
    kristiesbluejeans.blogspot.com

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  22. wait. no to Ryan? how dare you.

    also, perhaps you should not like Smirinoff Twisteds. Just a suggestion ;)

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  23. GIMME ALL THE CATS IN ALL THE LAND AND NO ONE GETS HURT.
    and then we can share them.

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  24. YES. no sushi, beer, or pumpkin spice lattes for me either! Gross.

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  25. Hoookay I'm with you every single one (like for real) except for the DOGS AND BEER? Are you even kidding me right now with that? Can you get a new blog design because I feel as if I cannot be associated with such a person.

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  26. Don't worry, I don't like dogs or sushi either!!! And I've never tried beer, but I don't think I would like it either. It smells gross.

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  27. I was going to say everything I agree with, but since that's most of the list I will tell you what I don't. Ryan is gorgeous and amazing; Fantasy Football is awesome; Yoga is super fun.

    The rest though---- ick!!!!!!

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  28. You know you had me at Sushi, and then again at Pumpkin Spiced Lattes, And then the fantasy football thing - I was like "AMEN SISTER! AMEN! You must be my sister from another mister!"
    but I started to get worried when you bashed glazed donuts...
    and then... GOSLEBUTT!?!?! What the?! Who are you and where do you come from!?
    See, the other day I posted about not liking pumpkin (i keep typing pumpking) spiced lattes or any other pumkin flavored liquid
    KeepYourPumpkinSpicedBS
    and today I posted not about Ryan Gosling but he was (& often is) a theme in some way shape or form...
    PreciousThoughtsByRyanGosling
    So. Yeah.
    Mind = Blown

    LittleBirdBlogs

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  29. I love tri tip but I also love sushi. I love cats but I also love dogs. I love baseball but I also love football (more). And I effing love hot glazed donuts I think I could eat five at one time (okay I know I can because I've done it before) so it's a good thing opposites attract, right?

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  30. Sushi makes me wanna gag. And I totes get the glaze thing. I worked there for 2 weekends in college and leaving smelling like glaze and coffee was the worst.

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  31. I completely agree with you on sushi, beer, dogs, and Ryan Gosling. Not my faves!

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  32. I used to hate sushi and would get really annoyed when people would try to convince me that I needed to try it. And I hate beer! No matter how many times I try to like it, it just doesn't work.

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  33. PEPPERMINT WHITE MOCHAS!!! yes. only the BEST and maybe I shed a happy tear at first sip.

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  34. I don't like beer either and let me just say I'm SUPER happy that hard cider is becoming popular!

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  35. Butt Whisper, I die!! I don't like sushi either! I have not had any PSL's at all, not a fan. I do like pumpkin pie though go figure! The bracelt banging or squeezing on the desk totally bugs me so I stopped wearing them too. You are not alone, girl!

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  36. Finally another blogger who is not completely obsessed with the disgusting little vermin they like to call puppies. No to the slobber, no to the fur, no to the cleaning up of crap, no to the taking care of anything but myself. Seriously, like if I wanted to have all that responsibility, I'd have a kid. And finding a babysitter is so much easier than finding someone to take care of your mutt.

    Also a big fat no to the sushi and PSL.

    I'll take a beer and some Ryan Gosling though.

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  37. I don't really like dogs either, and people love to make me feel like such a jerk about it. Well, YOU get bit by a German Shepherd on your butt and then see how you feel. Cats forever.

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  38. Everytime someone starts talking about how hot Ryan Gosling is, all I can think of is the skinny little twerp he was in Remember the Titans and I just laugh. #sorrynotsorry

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  39. I actually agree with you on the dogs part... finally I'm not the only one.

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  40. I actually agree with you on the dogs part... finally I'm not the only one.

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  41. I hate dogs too. I love sushi and Krispy Kreme though. ;-;

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