Thursday, October 10, 2013

Does this mean I'm an adult?

     Yesterday when I was at the grocery store trying to decide if I should use Hunts or the generic store brand of tomato paste for my spaghetti, I suddenly felt old.  Like, I was standing in the aisle looking at the paste and then down at my basket that had squash and garlic cloves in it, and I thought, this is it. Pretty soon you'll be adding Depends to this pile of adult stuff. (Joke. Sort of.) Then, when I got in my car and thought that I really need to get my tires rotated, I felt old again. Then, when I got home and was kind of looking forward to cooking and doing the dishes I felt even older. Then, I realized that I'm not old, I'm just more of an adult. But just a little bit. And by a little bit I mean I'm old enough to have adult thoughts (does that sound dirty to you? Apparently I have the humor of a 12 year old boy), but not mature enough to stop sleeping with my stuffed duck, Mr. Quackers.

     But seriously, last night I cooked spaghetti and made the sauce (none of that canned crap, vom) and then cleaned the kitchen and I actually enjoyed it. Then I drank strawberitas and watched SATC which was obviously a grown up choice.


     Then I thought about other things I think or say regularly that just scream, at the very least, "I AM NOT A CHILD I AM NOT A KID MAYBE I'M NOT TOALLY AN ADULT BUT THIS IS NOT A CHILDISH THOUGHT EVEN THOUGH SOMETIMES I HAVE REALLY IMMATURE THOUGHTS."


Oh my gosh it's almost 8pm? I need to get ready for bed.

I really should get my tires rotated.

What?? Cascade is on sale?? OMG my dishes will be SO CLEAN.

I need a new toilet paper roll holder.

The economy is really struggling.

Is that a grey hair???

It's almost time to contribute to my 401(k) again.

I would love to go to a museum today.

I should work on my ergonomics. Slouching so much is really going to have some bad effects on my life in a few years.

Maybe I'll splurge today and buy 3 ply toilet paper.

I wonder if I'm old enough to get cataracts?

Tomorrow I can sleep in until 8am!

My knees hurt.

My back hurts.

Is that a hot flash?

I wonder if this energy efficient light bulb is tax deductible?

I wish my stove was gas instead of electric.

Four Loko? No thanks. Give me wine.

I'll have a skinny latte instead of a frappuccino-extra-whip please.

My car insurance is $5 less than it was last's basically Christmas.

Gas is only $3.79 instead of $3.85! Today is the best day!

Let's see what's on the history channel.

OMG the music at this bar is so loud.

OMG this bar is so crowded.

Wanna leave the bar and just hang out at home? We can drink wine and watch Bridesmaids.


When I was a kid we played outside and used our imaginations. You kids should try it sometime.

and finally...

It's time to get a breast exam.

Speaking of breast exams, let's talk about PINKTOBER!! Seriously, keep reading. This is important. 

If you haven't seen the pink cleats scattering the football fields of every NFL game or the umpteen amount of pink ribbons floating around Facebook lately then you might not know that it's Breast Cancer Awareness month. But have no fear because Erin from Two Thirds Hazel got a whole bunch of bloggers together to bring you a giveaway just to make sure you remember.  The point of the giveaway is to raise awareness about this deadly disease as well as to raise money for breast cancer research in order to hopefully one day end it. And what better way to do that than to throw a whole bunch of PINK prizes your way to entice you to feel yourself up to check for lumps. That's right, feel yourself up by giving yourself a breast exam! Aka the only mandatory thing you'll need to do in order to enter for your chance to win. Win what you ask? Well let's take a little peek and see the prizes shall we.
1) A $300 gift card to Victoria's Secret PINK. Or just Victoria's Secret if you so choose. But either way you'll be getting TONS of new bras to carry those lovely lady lumps of yours around in. And with this much money you might even be able to snag some new panties and a bikini or two!
2) Over $100 worth of makeup and accessories. Snag yourself a lip duo from Sephora, a few blushes, nail polish, lip balms, a makeup bag, a watch, a scarf, a rose quartz and pearl bracelet, a pink pouf from Stella and Dot and more!
3) Over $100 worth of ad space. Get your pretty face on the sidebars of some awesome blogs in order to grow your own blog and gain more exposure.
4) $60 worth of Essie nail polish. You'll get five different pink polishes as well as base and top coats. Add in a pretty pink nail file and your digits will be thanking you for months to come.
5) A set of pink Vino2Go wine glass cups. Because what better way will there be to celebrate winning this giveaway than to sit down and pour yourself a glass (or two, or five) of wine.
6) A $25 design credit. After you're done shopping for new bras, painting your nails, applying makeup, throwing on new accessories and drinking wine, go update your blog with this awesome credit.

And now that you've met all of the amazingly generous ladies behind this giveaway, I think it's about time we got to entering it. So start stripping and begin feeling because the best method of prevention is early detection. If you've never given yourself an exam and need some guidance be sure to read the following information brought to you by the National Breast Cancer Foundation on the best ways to get the job done. If you already know how to get yourself to second base then carry on and head straight down to the Rafflecopter below to enter!
Using the pads of your fingers, move around your entire breast in a circular pattern moving from the outside to the center, checking the entire breast and armpit area. Check both breasts each month feeling for any lump, thickening, or hardened knot. Notice any changes and get lumps evaluated by your healthcare provider.
Visually inspect your breasts with your arms at your sides. Next, raise your arms high overhead. Look for any changes in the contour, any swelling, or dimpling of the skin, or changes in the nipples. Next, rest your palms on your hips and press firmly to flex your chest muscles. Left and right breasts will not exactly match—few women's breasts do, so look for any dimpling, puckering, or changes, particularly on one side.
When lying down, the breast tissue spreads out evenly along the chest wall. Place a pillow under your right shoulder and your right arm behind your head. Using your left hand, move the pads of your fingers around your right breast gently in small circular motions covering the entire breast area and armpit. Use light, medium, and firm pressure. Squeeze the nipple; check for discharge and lumps. Repeat these steps for your left breast.
Since the primary purpose of this giveaway is to spread awareness, the only thing that's mandatory in order to enter is for you to give yourself the breast exam. The second option available for entry (although definitely not mandatory) is to donate to the Susan G. Komen foundation. This option will get you the most entries because you'll be given an extra entry per every dollar you donate. A $20 donation equals 20 extra entries. Make sense? Good. So get to entering and find some pink fluffy feelings in your heart to help out a great cause!
a Rafflecopter giveaway

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  1. I always have random, crazy, make no sense thoughts running through my mind. Like today, I can't stop thinking about what ELSE I am going to pack for our Vegas trip. When I already packed everything last night. Gaahhhh. The insanity!!!!!

  2. I just switched car insurance from being $118 every month to $163 FOR SIX MONTHS. Best news.

  3. Loved this post. It was funny and I wasn't expecting the end - but in the best way. Kudos to you all for contributing to raising awareness!

  4. I definitely complain about the music being too loud/the place being too crowded. I also complain about unaccompanied children, or "hooligans" as I sometimes refer to them. I also like cooking but I have done that since I was ten so I don't think that counts for me.

  5. OMG I say at least half of these things daily. Post college life does make you feel grown up lol but I guess that's a good sign

  6. Haha! Great post. I feel like I think these things at least one a week if not once a day. I actually ran into my house and yelled "Pajama pants!" right when I got home from work.

  7. I'm so proud of you for your delicious looking dinner.

  8. I say a lot of those things...oh dear. haha

  9. I've said and thought lots of these things... since I was fifteen. I'm an old soul~~.

  10. well I must be old as dirt! haha because this entire list is me. every line, I was like yup. yup. yup.

  11. i just want to be a kid and worry about if my swiss cake ho ho is going to get smashed in my lunch box...

  12. right now i'm in our hotel room and the people next door have been blasting music ALL FUCKING DAY and if that shit goes on at 9pm, i will be calling security to tell them to get those people to turn that shit off. i'm the oldest person in the world :(

  13. I go through these same thoughts basically every day. Added to the list is "they're taking out that much for taxes?" and "when is my next vacation?". I strongly believe that you are a true adult when you can pay for, and prepare for vacations all on your own. Woop!

  14. YES to all of these, particularly the cheap gas making your whole week! I'm old with ya

  15. This is completely SPOT ON on every point. Also, you can come visit me in MN if you want. Gas is only $3.24 here right now.

  16. Your post cracked me up! I just stumbled across your blog! I am your newest follower!

  17. I constantly find myself thinking "When did I get so old? Who's old people thoughts are these?"

    As a cancer survivor (not of breast though), I'm loving this giveaway and the strive to raise awareness! I struggle every day with side effects from cancer and it's treatments and I really hope one day no one has to go through what I went through!

  18. Love this post. You speak the truth. Yesterday I cleaned my entire house, had wine with a friend in the afternoon, cooked dinner, went to bed embarrassingly early, and considered it a very successful Saturday. Who am I?


    Thanks for that :(

  20. ok. so you wrote about cooking and then it made me think of your two drawers which then led me to look back at my kitchen and i have like 1.5 drawers. I NEVER EVEN REALIZED.