Hi it's Friday and I'm braindead so all I have today are some embarrassing stories from my past.
//Years ago when I had a boyfriend we went mini golfing with his family. I wanted to beat him because he was talking up a big game and it was annoying me (clearly a healthy relationship) so I steadied my legs, locked my gaze, and whacked the little ball....straight into his mom's crotch.
Something like that.
//I used to sell wedding dresses. The first bride I had all on my own was really sweet and she had a big budget so obviously I loved her. I was putting her in a $3K dress and it was a little big on her, so I grapped a heavy duty clamp to hold the extra fabric and make it fit. She screamed and I was horrified to realize that I had clamped her skin in with the fabric. It was awful. But she still bought a $3K dress.
//In high school I was playing first base on a co-ed softball team and I was wearing jeans like an idiot and I jumped up to catch a ball and my pants split completely up the middle. And I didn't even make the catch.
I just really wanted to use this gif.
//My freshman year of college I was wearing these
ugly weird foam heels (that I was completely obsessed with and a small jean skirt and I was walking on a lawn right in front of a ceremony in front of about 50 adults and I tripped and totally ate it. Not just a little trip, but a complete feet-in-the-air flailing fall.
I was THE COOLEST PERSON EVER.
//I worked at Subway in high school and when I started I thought a BMT was a Bacon Meatball Tomato sandwich. I made (AND SOLD) 3 footlongs before someone asked what I was doing because a BMT is actually pepperoni, salami, and ham. And it's delicious so you should go eat a toasted one.
That's all I have for today so see ya wouldn't wanna be ya (unless your name is Jennifer Lawrence in which case YES).