Last night Mason tweeted about how the guy who won the Bachelorette (you'll never be able to convince me it's not a contest) is going to publish his poems. Well, naturally I had to reply to her and then we were talking about the Bachelor and then she said I should go on the Bachelor and I was like "haha lolzzz NO" but then she tweeted THIS...
....and then I was like "well ok now I HAVE to." And then Rachael tweeted me a link to the actual Bachelor application so I checked it out. And then I realized that the Gamemakers would never let me be on the show. Like EVER. I mean, even if I somehow tricked them into letting me be on the show -- wait I'm sorry, I mean even if they'd let me "embark on this wonderfully magical journey to find eternal happiness with the love of my life -- whoa even just typing that sentence made me feel like this:
Anyway, even if I someone got on the show I'd just make faces at the camera in all of my interviews.
Plus I'd probably just make everything awkward because lesbihonest, that's what I do in life in general.
And I'd just laugh at everything.
I think this waterfall represents how relationships sometimes go really fast and then they go over a cliff and it's a free fall and there's a pit in your stomach and you crash at the bottom and vow never to go white water rafting ever ever again.
But I did go read the application and I decided to fill it out just for fun because what's more fun than filling out a dating profile when you're three margaritas in on a Tuesday night? Answer: probably a lot of things but it was after 8 and my bra was off so I was in for the night and this is what happened.
pick me choose me love me