Friday, August 23, 2013

Why I'm already regretting running a race tomorrow

     You might not be aware of this, but bright and early tomorrow morning I'll be doubling up on sports bras and jiggling my way through a water park to run a 5k (that's 3.1 miles if you're bad at conversion like I am). UGH. This will be the third year I've done this and the third year I've told myself I'm never doing this again this is the last year never again never again never again. In case I don't make it back from Southern California alive (you know, because I'll be drowning in my own sweat and tears), here's a probably rundown of what's going to happen.
Eye of the Tiger by Survivor on Grooveshark
This is my anthem for tomorrow.
It'll start when my alarm goes off at 6am on a Saturday.

And I'll force myself to get up and get dressed, being sure to prepare for the painful experience.

Then I'll eat something healthy to give me fuel, and it will be disgusting.

The race will start and for the first mile half mile hundred yards or so, I'll feel AMAZING. Like I can do anything. I'll look like this girl.

And then reality will hit me like a ton of sweaty bricks.

And then the cramps will kick in, and I will feel like I have sudden onset asthma cuz, you know, that's totally a thing.

And everyone will say "JUST BREATHE THROUGH THE PAIN!"
But they DON'T KNOW MY LIFE.

And I'll contemplate collapsing and just waiting on the sidewalk for everything to end, but then I'll see this guy and I'll be forced to keep going because I am generally not a quitter. 

And at some point I'll see this fool being way too excited about the physical activity.

And then I'll get distracted by that fool and I'll totally eat it.
No horses were harmed in the making of this GIF.


And then finally it will be over and I'll collapse to the ground in a dramatic fashion.

And I'll find a couch or a soft piece of grass and collapse.

And then on Sunday I'll be in bed all day because:

And then celebratory alcohol.




 photo ScreenShot2013-06-23at112320PM_zps46bb1b5d.png

19 comments:

  1. Holy balls you just nailed how I feel every time I run...which is why I use an elliptical because its doesn't make me want to puke up my lungs

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  2. Omg I love this, and it applies 100% over here as well. Running is soo good and soo awful. Can't wait to hear how it goes :)

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  3. Well at least you're not a cripple. (I am really trying not to be bitter but obvs not succeeding). Annnyyywho, good luck, I know you'll do great!

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  4. That Gimli gif is me every time I exercise. Good luck tomorrow!

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  5. This is hilarious! And basically is an exact replication of what every run in my entire life has looked and felt like.

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  6. And of course I forgot, but good luck tomorrow!

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  7. Proud of you!!!!! (as always). Let me know how it goes! xo

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  8. haha! this was really entertaining. i'm running a big race in september and i'm worried that i may be the weakest link (it's a group thing).

    good luck in the 5k!

    -kathy
    Vodka and Soda

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  9. I never ran a race but I imagine this is pretty much how it would go for me, too.

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  10. Your ability to use the video clips is amazing to me!! Maybe one day you can teach me!

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  11. THIS. IS. AWESOME.

    Get it girl. You'll be awesome.

    Or it will completely and totally suck major ass, and every single thing you just posted a video of will actually happen, and well...that will just be that. But there's alcohol at the end. Word.

    Also, all of those gifs look like me when I try to run. Pretty much exactly. So that's cool.

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  12. hahahaha.
    If I could run 5K I would do it with you.
    Scratch that - I'll make it my goal to be able to run 5K and I'll do the damn thing with you next year, so you can't back out. ha.

    Just humor me on this one, kay?

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  13. running is the worst. end of story.

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  14. The gifs for this post are on point. Especially the Andy Bernard one. I love the Nard Dog.

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  15. By now, you have survived your run. DRINK LOTS OF BEER and then go to bed early. That's always my plan.

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  16. This is pretty much how every run I've ever attempted to take has gone. I struggle bus it hardcore.

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  17. this was just amazing.

    and you're beautiful.

    and it's monday.

    so hopefully you survived?!

    xo

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