Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Leggings are not pants

I'm not the world's biggest fan of shopping. I mean, I'll do it, but it's not my idea of a fun way to spend a Saturday afternoon. When people say this
it makes me feel like this.
Unless I'm shopping for baby clothes for my niece. I could shop for her all day and the next five in a row.
     I don't hate it quite as much as I used to ever since my friend Lisa took me shopping and picked out clothes for me that actually fit and looked decent (and let's be real, if you read this post you know I wasn't able to do that for myself), and it was less painful than I thought it would be. So, even though I don't like it, sometimes it's necessary. Like yesterday when I realized I really need some new work pants because I've worn my favorite pair so often that I have literally worn holes through them. 
     So after work, since I had an hour and a half to kill before I met a friend for a hike, I went to Gap to see if they had another pair of the pants I love. Well obviously they didn't, I mean come on, that would have been way too easy. But since I was already in Gap I walked through the baby section because hello ruffled pink cuteness that is way too expensive for a 6 month old but I'll still look at it oh yes I will. I spent a solid six minutes in Gap and didn't explode or have a meltdown, so I figured I'd be ok to go to Express and see if they had any pants I liked. These are the kind of pants I was looking for.

They're my favorite pants EVER. They feel like leggings but they're not. So it's like I'm cheating but no one knows. I got them from Gap back in November when I was shopping for an outfit to wear on a first date.

Another reason I need new pants is because of this.

But I'm not ready to talk about that so let's move on.
Where were we?
Oh, right. Express. I was in Express and I could feel one of the salespeople staring at me, ready to pounce.

Finally she came out from behind the piles of shirts she was folding and asked if she could help me but I swear she was looking at me like this the whole time.

So I told her what I wanted.
"Pants exactly like the ones I'm wearing right now that are not leggings and are black and don't flare at the ankles."
Guys. I still can't believe the pants she showed me.

LEATHER LEGGINGS.
I stared at her for 3 seconds and said, "Um, that's not really what I was looking for. I'm not looking for leggings, and I'm not a big fan of leather pants." I mean obviously I was already seeing this in my future.

She continued to show me three more pairs of leggings.
LEGGINGS.
Not what I asked for at all. But then FINALLY she showed me some pants that looked like they might work.
MIGHT. But then she asked me the most horrible question ever.
"What size do you need?"
So I looked around to make sure no one else was listening and I told her very quietly the size I would like.

She rummaged through the pile and I could very clearly see my size was not there.
She told me she could go check the back but what I heard her say was

And I knew that if I tried on a smaller size my alter egos would make an appearance in the dressing room.

And if I succeeded in trying the pants on I would come out of the dressing room looking like this.

So I smiled sweetly at her and said thanks but I'll have to come back never another time.
I left, pantsless. I mean, I was wearing pants, but they still have holes in them that luckily aren't that visible yet.
And then I made myself feel better by saying this in my head

And then I hiked a mountain.
 

 photo ScreenShot2013-06-23at112320PM_zps46bb1b5d.png

52 comments:

  1. This was HILARIOUS and oh-so-relatable. Found your blog via Annie's tweet. Love this!

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  2. ALSO, one time when I was trying on capris in Express, a sales guy brought me high heels to try with them even though my left leg was in a CAST. I just looked at him.

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  3. I love my "legging" jeans! I have two pairs. SO comfy.

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  4. I am dying! Love the Ross gif - too funny!

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  5. When you started talking about the leather leggings I was literally crossing my fingers that you'd pull out the Ross gif. You know I needed that laugh....

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  6. Ahh I don't like shopping either-particularly for bras or jeans. I always leave the mall hating myself.

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  7. I need to get on the gif wagon--seriously, love this! And, I TOTALLY get what you're talking about...love shopping--hate trying on clothes! haha

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  8. I used to work there. They kind of train you to be crazy town. Although I love their clothes....which is why I started working there...but I digress. Next time you go in tell them you work at another location. They'll leave you alone. lol

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  9. Sales people are always so snooty! I'm like your help isn't worth feeling judged while I shop! I found the best legging like work-ish pants at JCrew called "the Minnie" (or something like that), they're sort of overpriced (like everything at JCrew...) but if you check online they are on sale like all the time (or at JCrew factory online). I have a khaki pair and a pink pair and i seriously need a black pair because they are so comfortable I just love it.
    xxoo,
    Jordyn

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  10. the lotion has somehow formed a paste! ohh leather pants. ps. i loathe pants shopping. it's the worst.

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  11. I hate shopping for myself, I always end up walking out with clothes for my daughter. She's so much easier to dress and I'm pretty sure the clothes for her are way cuter than anything they make in my size.

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  12. I despise leather pants!!! No thank you!

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  13. OH. NO. SHE. DIDN'T.

    Shopping blows. Rude sales people make shopping even worse. Just say no to leather pants. I hope you found something in the end.

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  14. Haha great post! I'm still on the hunt for a perfect pair of pants (not leggings!) and I depise the dressing room. Perfect explanation of my current feelings. :)

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  15. Hahahaha.... too funny!

    Have you tried New York and Company? They have great pants. And, yes, some of them are legging pants, but they are absolutely wonderful. Right now, they are having their BOGO Pant Sale, too.

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  16. I have officially become your biggest fan because you included that leather pants Friends gif. One of my favorite episodes ever!

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  17. Girl, been there!!! Ha ha ha! Such a funny post. When you find another pair of pants you like, let us know! I need some, too!

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  18. gawd I love this. Every great story should end with "and then i hike a mountain" Epic.

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  19. Loved everything about this post. Hilarious!

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  20. I just want to know who thought leather leggings were a good idea... and I want to slap them. Loved this post, it had me laughing so hard!

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  21. I totally tried on the Gap pants you were talking about like a year ago...but I didn't buy them. Now every time I go back, all they have are cropped skinnies, which is not what I'm looking for. And I don't want to order them online because I can't remember what size fit. I hate shopping for work pants more than anything!

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  22. Oh my gosh. I just laughed reading this entire thing. I hate clothes shopping. Hate it.I hope you find the pants you need!

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  23. I am dying. Although I have a pair of leather leggings and I love them so much because I feel like a badass when I wear them. Also, when you find the legging but not leggings pants can you direct me where to buy my own? KTHXLOVEYOUBYE.

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  24. OMG hilarious. Been there! love loooove LOVE all the gifs hahaha

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  25. I've got a massive hole in the crotch of my yoga pants today.
    We make a really great team.

    Except I really want some leather leggings so I can feel hardcore, is that ok? Can we still be a team?

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  26. Love this :) I always go into stores with the best of intentions and attitudes and I usually end up like this. And thank you for the Friends gif, always a good choice :)

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  27. Story of my life! I hate shopping for pants, it always makes me feel huge. It also blows my mind whenever I'm walking around at lunch and see a bunch of other young professional women wearing actual leggings. I always think to myself "What office is this and how is this acceptable?".

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  28. aaaaaaand this is why I don't like shopping. period.

    But seriously? Leather leggings? was she high?

    I'm glad you used the Ross GIF. Perfection.

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  29. I love this post reminds me of when I was shopping for my wedding dress, I told the saleswoman that I didn't like anything satin so what did she do continue to pull out about 20 satin dresses GAHHH!!
    Also leggings, Jeggings, leather leggings are NEVER EVER a appropriate form of clothing! Especially at the gym when the bitch in front of me wears a super tight pair of see through leggings with no underware!!!!
    Love this post Juliette.
    Have a great week.
    Love Gi
    xx

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  30. I bought pleather leggings once. Wait before you totally judge.. I'm in a band. I thought I'd wear them when we played.
    I just sold them at my yard sale - with the tags still attached.

    LittleBirdBlogs

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  31. Ross in the leather pants is my favorite thing ever. I found a pair like the ones you are talking about at Charlotte Russe of all places!

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  32. Haha hilarious! Love all the clips and pictures!

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  33. Leather leggings sound the opposite of what you wanted. And I seriously hate pants shopping, I would rather wear pants with small holes.

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  34. Neither are good to wear. love the Friends reference tho. I so remember that episode like it was yesterday.

    pinkowl07.blogspot.com

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  35. This is the reason why I hate shopping sometimes! When I go to find pants, I can't find in my size lol
    I just found your blog! I am now following!
    I am looking forward to keeping up and getting to know you through your posts!

    xo
    Christina
    pieceitalltogetherx3.blogspot.com

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  36. I hate when stores quit carrying pants that you love...I usually buy multiples of articles of clothing that I love so I hopefully can make it forever before needing to go shopping again. I just know that I won't be able to find the same thing, or something even remotely similar so I try to avoid it at all costs.

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  37. http://www.lootbargain.com

    Loot bargain also has great collection of Leggings and jeggings for women online in india @ Discounted Prices.

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  38. Leggings are definitely not pants! If you need a good resource, I recommend hue.com.
    -Jackie

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  39. thank's for your information and i really like for your share

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  40. Nice Collection For Leggings for women made by leather stuff, I Am Here to show the one more manufacturing unit in india who also made such a wonderfull Women Leather Leggings. Hope You Will Like CrabRocks Product.

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  41. good one, I like your collection of leather leggings. I have recently bought Physique Competition Suits as I have participated in a competition. I will try such leggings very soon, keep posting.

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  42. Buy Women's Trousers and Leggings Online. Select from a wide range of trousers and leggings for women only at Anonymousco.com @http://anonymousco.com/trousers-leggings

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  43. The trick to wearing these types of bottoms seems to be in avoiding horizontal lines...keep shoes and leggings in the same color, keep top and jacket in the same color, dress head to toe in the same color. Buy better quality leggings in a denser fabric, and keep tops looser and longer in contrast with the body-conscious bottoms. Keep waistbands high and wide to avoid the "plumber" look. Look for bottoms to fit your shape (yes, they do come in "curvy"). And don't wear yoga pants as day wear.

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  44. The way you expressed your experience here was hilarious and really enjoyed reading it. I can understand how difficult it is to get a desired piece of clothing but for now, quite happy with my work out leggings as they are quite sturdy.

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