They're my favorite pants EVER. They feel like leggings but they're not. So it's like I'm cheating but no one knows. I got them from Gap back in November when I was shopping for an outfit to wear on a first date.
Another reason I need new pants is because of this.
I stared at her for 3 seconds and said, "Um, that's not really what I was looking for. I'm not looking for leggings, and I'm not a big fan of leather pants." I mean obviously I was already seeing this in my future.
She continued to show me three more pairs of leggings.
Not what I asked for at all. But then FINALLY she showed me some pants that looked like they might work.
MIGHT. But then she asked me the most horrible question ever.
"What size do you need?"
So I looked around to make sure no one else was listening and I told her very quietly the size I would like.
She rummaged through the pile and I could very clearly see my size was not there.
She told me she could go check the back but what I heard her say was
And I knew that if I tried on a smaller size my alter egos would make an appearance in the dressing room.
And if I succeeded in trying the pants on I would come out of the dressing room looking like this.
So I smiled sweetly at her and said thanks but I'll have to come back
never another time.
I left, pantsless. I mean, I was wearing pants, but they still have holes in them that luckily aren't that visible yet.
And then I made myself feel better by saying this in my head
And then I hiked a mountain.