Thursday, May 9, 2013

Texts on a Thursday

Jacey's texts are still funny, but they're becoming funny at MY expense, and that isn't what I signed up for.
Also, lately she thinks it's funny to hug me and then give my neck a long, slow SNIFF. It's creepy.
She's also been napping in the afternoon, which is irritating because she doesn't respond to my texts.
(I'm starting to feel like I'm talking about a dog or a two-year old instead of a 20-something person.)

Read to your heart's content (well, maybe just to the bottom of the page).


Jacey: If we ever get in a fight and aren't friends anymore I'm going to unlike all the pictures that you only have 11 likes on [on Instagram] and then I'm going to block you so you can't do it to me.

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Jacey: Let's see Great Gatsby on Friday night
Me: Ok
Jacey: REALLY?
Me: Sure
Jacey: That was too easy...


Jacey: You're bad at some things too
Me: Not really
Jacey: Remembering to pay your bills
Jacey: Ordering contact lenses
Jacey: Taco tongue
Me: That's enough
Jacey Painting your nails before 9pm
Jacey: Ellipticals
Jacey: Crafts
Me: STOP
Jacey: Drinking beer
Jacey: Doing the Bible study in a timely fashion
Me: I'm ok with the beer one
Jacey: Going to spin with me
Jacey: Keeping your car clean
Me: I don't like this game anymore
Jacey: I like it a lot

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Jacey: Good morning
Me: Oh hello
Jacey: I don't like your tone


When Jacey was on a REALLYBIG Parenthood kick:

Jacey: I was trying to send you a text saying "I want a houseboat like Crosby" and I sent it to a guy from work. I'm so glad it wasn't more embarrassing.

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Me: I want a massage.
Me: Will you give me one?
Jacey: No
Jacey: Ok but only on one condition
Me: What
Jacey: I will only massage you with my feet
Me: You're disgusting

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Talking about her labradoodle puppy:

Jacey: Rainie just chewed my bra
Jacey: And then she licked my smoothie without asking permission
Me: I don't feel sorry for you. She always does that
Jacey: It was extra annoying today



When discussing how we wish we could get paid to watch Netflix and and deciding maybe we could have a reality show:

Jacey: We need to figure out how to get paid for that
Me: We are really quotable
Jacey: People would like us because we are very REAL
Me: We would get asked out on sooooooo many dates
Jacey: Probably like 11 a day

(Please take a moment to notice her perfectly shaped eyebrows that are NATURALLY like that. 
No tweezing, no waxing.
No fair.)


Jacey: I ate a spoonful of peanut butter in the middle of the night
Me: That's ok
Jacey: ...it may have been 2 spoonfuls

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Jacey: I wish you would take spin class with me. It would be so fun.
Me: Some day I will
Me: But it is not this day
Me: That was a quote from lord of the rings
Jacey: You should save all lord of the rings references for people who are not me

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