Saturday, May 7, 2011

The Curse of the Third Date

the third date curse. i'm pretty sure i've talked about it before, but in case of confusion let me break it down really fast.

-guy and girl have first date.
-guy and girl have second date.
-guy and girl have third date.
-guy never speaks to girl again.

i've decided that i suffer from the third date curse, and i think it's time to figure out why. for now i'll blame myself, and for two reasons: 1) i'm the only common denominator and 2) unlike beth in the book i just read, i'm fairly certain i don't have a jealous ex-husband chasing away my prospects and feigning protection of our 7 year old son in the process.

here is what i've come up with:

1) I'M INDECISIVE. i don't see this as a bad thing though, because as the girl i don't feel the need to make the monumental decision of where we have dinner. unless he picks fast food, because even though i'm not picky, i do have some standards.

2) I'LL LAUGH AT ALL YOUR JOKES. so what if you can't actually tell that I'm laughing? Though I may be grimacing on the outside, I'm almost always laughing (at you) on the inside.

3) HE WAS 32. 'nuff said. this one wasnt actually my fault.

4) I'M TRADITIONAL. excuuuuuuuse me for expecting you to open the doors for me and walk on the outside of the sidewalk and throw your coat over puddles for me. apparently chivalry IS dead.

5) IBS. Irritable Boy Syndrome. Basically, if he's annoying (which so many are!), you can expect me to spend excessive and unecessary amounts of time in the bathroom. most of the time he doesnt even know he's annoying.

part of me feels as though i should apologize for this list, but i won't. partly because this list is (somewhat of) a joke, and partly because i'm tired of apologizing for myself. sure, i may be a bit cynical, and sarcastic, and sometimes mean, but most of the time it's just a facade. granted, it's a facade that can be as tough to get past as it is to take any of the kardashians seriously, but it can be done. so i don't trust people (re: men), so what? so i think most people are lying, so what? so i think most people take themselves waaaaaaay too seriously, so what? and so what if i place as much importance on spelling as i do??

--side note: you're, your. to, too, two. there, their, they're. it can be done.--

so in conclusion, the curse of the third date is now resting his talons quite aggravatingly on my freckled shoulders. but that's ok, he hasn't bitten hard enough to draw blood (yet). 

2 comments:

  1. Sooo sooo true! haha Love ya roomie!

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is so effig accurate.
    WHAT IS WITH THE THREE-DATE CURSE?

    Men are stupid

    ReplyDelete