Lisa and I tried a new church today. I'd walked by it several times during my jaunts with Tino, and since it started at 10am rather than 9 or 930 (a reason for "hallelujah!" in itself) we thought we'd try it out. I've been wanting to find a smaller church to go to, something that's reminiscent of BPCC back home, but haven't had much luck. Maybe I'm being too picky, but I don't really care. Anyway, I counted, and there were fewer than 35 people in attendance. That's the second smallest service I've been too post college (the smallest amount in attendance was 16!). It was a nice church, but I don't know if we'll be going back because Lisa had to go to work right after the service ended so we didn't have time to discuss how we felt about it.
Anyway, the message ended up being just what I needed to hear.
Trust. That's what the pastor talked about. It began with him talking about Gideon, then he moved toward Peter in Acts, then a couple of Psalms of David.. The section that resonated the most with me was this:
But I trust in Your unfailing love; my heart rejoices with Your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, for He has been good to me.
Trust. That's what I have, and that's what I choose to do. No matter how discouraged/defeated I feel, or how long this process takes, I have to have faith that it will all work out for the best. Although, it would be really nice if it would start working out a lot sooner rather than later ... I don't know how much longer I can take it. Would it help if I told God, "Ok, thanks for that trial! It really helped! I think I'm good now ... I'm ready for a job, You can drop one in my lap now, and thank You!"
Probably not. Remembering that God has His own timing is a struggle for me ... I want everything to happen in my timing, and that just isn't going to happen.
This is hard, much harder than I thought it was going to be.
Also, I have a lot of trouble falling asleep at night. A LOT. And it's REALLY starting to make me mad!